The Kindgom

The Kingdom. I was intrigued by this movie when it came out. Never made it to the theaters to see it, but I avoided learning more about it because I like to be surprised by movies. It came from Netflix this week, and on my third attempt to watch, it finally happened.

Janie Foxx can be annoying, but I really liked him in Jarhead, so I was ready to see him portray another military type. I wasn't disappointed, he really does the tightly-disciplined guy well. Chris Cooper is good in another 'that guy' role. Jennifer Garner is surprisingly whimpery for a tough girl, and Jason Bateman seems a bit out of place, but makes up for it by being himself. Ashraf Barhom is terrific as our Saudi protagonist. Delivering intensity and some comic relief.

The movie has some real excitement in the beginning, then starts building and building towards a 30 minutes or so of nearly non stop action near the end. I think all of those things are really well done. Peter Berg might not be a terrific actor, but I like his directing style. I can't really talk about the cultural things in the film, that would take a book or so, but I'd be happy to talk to you in person about it.

Good acting, beautiful shots, genuine action and excitement. I am going to buy this DVD when I get a chance.

Sweeney Todd

Sweeney Todd. The Demon Blade of Fleet Street. Sounds like an interesting story, and I like Johnny Depp. Tim Burton seems to be pretty hit or miss, and my impression of him seems overly influenced by how much Kevin Smith hates him. Hearing details about this story and who's directing it, I can't imagine anyone other than Depp and Bonham Carter being the leads.

The movie is a dark, sad tale. Depp shines as the star, and Sacha Baron Cohen has a nice little piece as a rival barber. In general it feels like a play, which makes sense because the story comes from the stage. The music, however, does get a little annoying for me. I don't have a problem with Musicals per se, but this was bad music IMO. I was also wondering, how much they enhanced the movie by making it a musical... There are admittedly a number of people who aren't influenced one way or another, but I feel like making the movie a musical will lose more on-the-fence viewers than it will gain. Maybe that's just me.

Overall, it was a good enough movie. I am glad I didn't pay money to see it though. One funny note, every time This Guy came on the screen, Margo said 'hey, it's Keira Knightly'.

Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. Yes this movie looks stupid, and no one seemed to like it, but you know the drill. I have adoring fans to please.

Wow, lets see if I can recount what just happened to me. As far as I can tell, a baby monkey wiped his excrement on some movie film, then dragged a few more reels through mud puddles and various sections of the jungle. Shortly thereafter, the monkey found financial backers and a distribution company, ported his footage to digital and edited down to ~80 minutes. Next the Monkey found me, and made me watch his travesty while the whole monkey family beat me in the head with sticks and rocks. I need a minute to recover.

...

Ok, so I've thought it over, and I may have been spared the monkey beatings, but I'm pretty sure the rest happened. That's all I can say about Craporium.

Beowolf (2007)

Beowolf. I was skeptical from the start for a number of reasons.

a) It looks pretty stupid
b) It's like the fourth Beowolf film made in the last few years
c) I don't like overdone movies

But I'm home, Margo is working, I have a few hours to kill and a DVD. Most importantly, I have a movie blog to entertain. Shall we dance?

After all that, Beowolf is actually not a bad movie. While the animation is mildly annoying, the action is pretty good. Using animation allows Robert Zemeckis to use legitimate good actors for the male leads instead of Nordic looking pretty faces. Ray Winstone does well as Beowolf, and imo Brendan Gleeson(of recent Harry Potter fame) steals the show as the stalwart sidekick Wiglaf. Anthony Hopkins obviously has terrific Voice talent in addition to his acting chops.

Here is my problem with the movie. IT IS NOT BEOWULF. It should be an adventure story, another line entirely. Why call it Beowolf when it is probably 40% based upon the original story? This was my main problem with Miami Vice(the movie). Well, my main problem was that it was terribly done trash. But my other problem with Miami Vice is that it wasn't about Miami Vice. It was a random story about two cops. Not based at all upon the original. So here we are with this other way overblown hyperbole. Is there an avid following of the classics that makes it profitable to loosely follow old stories? Why not make it a new story? I honestly don't understand.

Final Answer : not a bad movie, just ignore the title.

**Edit** I forgot to mention two things yesterday
Though Angelina Jolie is on the cover of the movie, and seems to be in all the previews she has about 5 minutes of screen time. Admittedly she does look quite amazing animated, but this is a bit silly
Secondly, how in the world is this movie PG-13? There are people graphically being ripped in half, and we have a naked woman grabbing a naked man's business. Adult 'themes' like the dreaded homosexuality garner an 'R' in one second, crap like this is really PG-13?

Poolhall Junkies

Poolhall Junkies. This is a movie I've loved and owned for a while. I owned it, lent it to someone and never saw it again. Then I re bought it, lent it to someone, then never saw it again, again.
I own it now for the third time, and it's not leaving my house. I try to show it to my pool playing friends cause they tend to appreciate it.

Basically, it's a pool movie kind of similar to Rounders but it doesn't take itself as seriously. Mars Callahan writes/directs/stars in this little niche gem. There's some good pool action, and some very cool Christopher Walken. He gives one speech that I think anyone should listen to before a sporting event. It might give you chills. Evil Chazz Palminteri and a weirdo Rick(y) Schroeder are icing on the cake.

Anyhoo, I watched it with my friend Dan, hoping it would make us want to play pool. It did. So we decided to check out another new(to us) pool hall. Corner Pocket(yeah I know another awful web site), in Waltham is very close to my house. We forgot the directions but made out way over there. Fairly large pool hall, tables were fine. it was pretty expensive though, and the food/bar area is separate. Separate ordering, separate checks ... For just pool it would be ok, but nothing has unseated Boston Billiards as the venue of choice yet.

(in case you're wondering he kicked my butt with a house Cue)

Confessions of a Super Hero

Confessions of a Super Hero. Billed as a documentary about celebrity character impersonators and their pursuit of fame, I was intrigued. I like slice of (strange)life documentaries like Starbucking, and Cowboy Del Amor. I also like super heroes so I gave it a shot.

We focus on four main people, a Superman, a Batman, a Wonder Woman, and an Incredible Hulk impersonator, all of whom hang out in front of Mann's Chinese Theater taking pictures with people for 'tips'. The Superman seems to be completely obsessed with Christopher Reeve and Superman in general, and his life is dominated by the impersonation. The other three seem to be looking for other acting jobs and achieving extremely mild success.

The documentary does a great job of neither mocking or glorifying the life, and really shows their outside life well. Three of the four are married(The Hulk isn't) and they talk about their lives before their alter-egos and what pushed them into that life. I was never bored, and was even a bit touched. I was so interested I watched all of the DVD extras to squeeze out all I could. If you like documentaries at all, please check it out.

Hitman

Hitman. I love Tim Olyphant. I liked him before Deadwood, but since then I can prolly be considered a fanboy. I'd pay good money to have him stomp around my apartment looking mad with his jaw clenched. Anyways, Hitman was a moderately interesting video game, now made into film starring one of my favorite actors. Am I going to miss this movie? If you said no, you obviously don't know me :)

We open with a training/indoctrination montage, that reminds one of the training Spartan boys received to make them killing machines. Then we get into Olyphant and the killing. This is what I'm watching the movie for. Running around, acting badass, wearing cool outfits, killing fools. This is what #47(where I came from, they don't give us names, they give us numbers) does. And he does it well. At times this movie reminds me of Leon(which was one of my favorite movies).

The female lead is Olga Kurylenko, who I've never seen before. If you can get past the choppy English, she does a great job. Indignant, then moving to a more Stockholm Syndrome-ish attitude, Olga provides legit eye candy. She's actually going to be a bond girl in 2008. The main Interpol guy is a little annoying, but his sidekick is kind of cool. We have a nice four-way bald headed fight, and overall the movie delivers what it promises. Some light hearted fun and a lot of action. If you like the game, Olyphant, or lots of killing, check it out.

The Ten

The Ten. I remembered seeing like one preview for this a long time ago, then it disappeared completely. It just came from Netflix, so I threw it in the DVD player two days ago. When it was time to watch a movie, Mugs and I both wanted to watch 'The Kingdom' but we both hate getting up to change the disc. So we watched The Ten. Maybe tmi, but oh well.

This movie was the baby of David Wain, and Ken Marino. Two actors from my favorite sketch comedy show ever, The State. The movie opens with some Paul Rudd silliness. I find him funny, and he seems to be the face of Angst for his generation. However, he seemed to be a little too much like his character from Knocked Up here. That annoyed me slightly.

The stories start off well. There's a lot of craziness, over the top comedy. If you liked the State, you should definitely like this movie. Stories don't go where you'd expect, and they kept me laughing the whole time. Ken Marino is great, Winona Ryder is terrific, and looking great. Oliver Platt killed me as an Arnold impersonator. Jessica Alba has a small, and disappointing part for someone with top billing. I always like to see Liev Schreiber in a comedic role.

Basically, if you don't mind profanity and nonsense, with a few very inappropriate jokes and comments thrown in, check it out. Fun-Ne


(The Kingdom is coming soon)

The Great Debaters

The Great Debaters. So I was at work, waiting to go to trivia, so I decided to watch a movie. I was thinking Denzel Washington(correct), short movie(incorrect), light fare(also incorrect).

I actually liked this movie more than I expected(it to be terrible). However, it seems to have an identity crisis. Heavy racial issues in Texas in the 30's, and a fluff piece feel good team story. It has both. I like one of those, I don't like the other. You can guess which is which.

Big stars in this movie. Denzel Washington. Forest Whitaker. A Cosby girl, and um Denzel Whitaker. Really? One of the main actors in a movie with Denzel and Whitaker is named Denzel Whitaker? Weird, I say. I'm going to call the little one DW for now, I don't want to write out both names. Anyways, (the)Denzel is himself. Righteous, smirking, wiser than you. Honestly it's getting old. If he wasn't a terrific actor I think I'd start swearing every time he appeared on screen. Show some god damned range, please. Forest tho. He's my man. I love that droopy eyed bastard. Maybe it's because when I get tired my left eye half closes. Maybe it's because he has been innovative and diverse for his whole career. From Fast Times at Ridgemont High to Good Morning Vietnam to Ghost Dog to Last King of Scotland to Great Debaters. And the man is an opera singer !!

Forest is great. Denzel is mediocre, but the story is good at times. The first time Cosby girl debates, I was moved by her speech. The young male lead is pretty good, and there's some 1935 southern grit. Boston is painted as a beautiful place, which I like. If you're not expecting a great movie, check it out(tho I wouldn't pay for it).

Jillians Boston

Jillians Boston. I didn't watch a movie last night, I went out and played pool. I try to go once a week with my friend Dan. Dan is a better pool player than me. When we play for money, I usually find a way to win, but when nothing is on the line I can't find my motivation.

Usually we go to Boston Billiards Club(holy crap is that a bad web site). Good pool tables, easy parking (if you know where to go), the most amazing Buffalo Chicken wrap I've ever had(I eat it with no tomatoes) and comfort. We know the waitresses, we know the managers, we know the players. We know almost everyone there. There's plenty of space and light, it's a known quantity.

We decided to try something new this week. Jillians Boston. I used to go there a lot with my friend Scott, before the format change. I remember good tables, good food, good intangibles. Now, it's a bowling alley. They have a few pool tables, in terrible shape. Ours had a huge "***" stain all over it. The lighting was atrocious (we had to hold the menu over the table to read it) and there was Zero atmosphere. The food was fantastic tho. If I want to go bowling some time, I want to go there and eat. But for pool? I'd stay away.

Had a good or bad experience at either place? Lemme know by commenting. Thanks

Cloverfield

Cloverfield. I, like many people, have been intrigued by this movie ever since the strange, informationless previews started hitting the public. I have a couple of people at work who can't seem to not talk in explicit detail about movies I want to see. Even when I ask them again and again not to. It's a holiday weekend, a theater near my house is playing it, how can I NOT go see Cloverfield?

No intro, no opening credits. I like it so far. I had heard that the handheld-camera style shooting can be disconcerting at first. Correct. I also heard that one gets used to it. Mostly correct. We open with a silly Dept. of Def. looking stamp, like this film is evidence of an incident. Trying to lend authenticity I guess, tho it's not like this is Blair Witch or something.

The first real shots we have are a couple hanging out, then people preparing a goodbye party for "Rob". I got most of the characters mixed up at first, cause white people really do mostly look alike. The only actor I recognized in this movie was TJ Miller. From the TV show Carpoolers, in which he plays the exact same character. In small doses it's quaint, funny even. He did get some laughs in the film. However, for a whole movie, it grates on nerves like Jar Jar Binks. I spent a lot of the movie hoping he would die, just so I wouldn't have to listen to his horrendousness anymore.

There's a ton of action, legit scary scenes. Some 'make-you-jump's and NYC getting the crap beat out of it. Like "I am Legend" I don't really understand how this movie was PG-13. There were a lot of kids at this movie, many of whom were scared poop-less at certain times. They also seemed to love talking during the movie. I don't imagine the people reading this are the people who do it, and if you are I don't imagine that this will change your habits. But please, SHUT UP during movies. It aggravates me to no end when people are making stupid comments loudly during movies. If you don't like it leave. Or don't go in the first place. There's a social contract, to respect the other people who spent a lot of money to be there. Civilized people wait in lines, use turn signals, and don't talk during f-ing movies.

So... I liked the movie a lot, and I'm glad I saw it in the theater. Fun movie, and pretty exciting. You'll even get to see a preview for an upcoming Star Trek movie.

TV Update

As I've mentioned, it's a long weekend, I watched/caught up on some TV. I have a lot of shows set up in my DVR, and I don't want it to fill up, so I knocked some out.

Threshold. This is an interesting looking show, Sci-Fi based. Aliens are invading. Very slowly :)
Since the DVR only saved 7 episodes, I saw the first 4 and last 3. Out of 13. That was enough. It started out well, interesting premise, good actors. Carla Gugino, Data, Peter Dinklage, and this guy. The crazy crazy technology stuff gets old though, and the show was cancelled before the story was over. A hasty ending ruined the last couple of episodes, I can't really recommend it as a whole.

Pinks. Sounds dirty, but it's a show about car racing. It's pretty cool, if you like cars I'd definitely recommend it.

The Wire. I wrote on this before. But after a couple of more episodes, I want to say this : When I watch The Wire, I am praying it doesn't end. I'm afraid to look at a clock for fear of acknowledging the passage of time and the impending finish of this episode.

Breaking Bad. New show on AMC, starring Bryan Cranston(the dad from Malcolm in the Middle). After one episode, I like it. Quirky, funny, and well made. I hope it sticks around for a bit.

Football. During the season, Football is a large part of my TV schedule. Pats are 18-0 and heading to another Super Bowl. Where they'll meet the Giants. Pats fans have been solid throughout the season. Always talking about how great this season would be. Sticking with Belichick during the scandal. Now we're ready to be crowned the Best Team Ever. Giants fans hid all season. Complained about Eli, whined about everything. Now they're all coming out of the woodwork. Praying the Giants can beat the Pats, almost to redeem their beloved Yanks who have been far surpassed by the Sox. Their biggest accomplishment of the season according to most experts was losing to the Pats. Lets hope it stays that way.

Spartan

Spartan. I can't remember when I added this to my Netflix Queue, but it's starring Val Kilmer and has Kristen Bell in it, so that's win win in my book. I found out later that it was written and directed by David Mamet, whom I enjoy in general.

The story is loosely set around some special ops soldiers(Kilmer) trying to rescue a politician's daughter(Bell). There are a few twists and turns, some training, some ops. Val Kilmer being his crazy self. I like it how he completely immerses himself in a part, though I hear it makes him insufferable on a set.

Ed O'Neill and William H Macy play small but meaningful parts, as well as Derek Luke. Not an amazing movie, but well acted, and it knows what it wants to do and does it. Kilmer delivering Mamet lines is worth watching for me. Small review, small movie. Hasta pronto.

The Golden Compass

The Golden Compass. From the first preview, I wanted to see this movie. It's yet another movie based upon a fantasy trilogy, but it looked like it had some cool ideas, and polar bears fighting. Can't go wrong there right?

The movie opens up by giving us a bit too much information about things to come, but it ropes you in. Short and sweet credits, I'm ready for a ride. At first the star(another girl named Dakota) Lyra seems a bit annoying. She always looks angry, wearing a perpetual sneer. Eventually it changes to perpetual confidence. She is completely unflappable, which becomes endearing. Daniel Craig has a small role, but does well with it. I'm sure he'll play a larger part in the next two movies.

I'm not going to talk about the plot too much, but I liked it. Nicole Kidman is just alright, not shining. I think she can be a lot scarier. In each movie she is in, the "work" she's had done becomes more obvious and detracts from her more.

The movie is a lot of fun, good story, and a lot of good CGI which is extremely well integrated. I'd definitely recommend this movie. After I got home from the movie, I started poking around, and a lot of people really didn't like this movie. They are mostly in two camps : People who loved the book and thought it didn't compare, and religious nuts. I do want to read the book, so I can comment on that part later. Religious nuts tho, give it a break. It is soooooooo annoying, and you're winning neither friends nor converts by protesting movies and books.

To End All Wars

To End All Wars. Pretty awesome cover, good reviews, a somewhat unique setting(Scottish POW's in a Japanese prison camp in Thailand)

Good start, Scottish soldiers, bagpipes, real Scottish actors. I'm a big fan of Robert Carlyle. Maybe he'll be a good guy in this movie? No, don't hold your breath. Big, blustery Scot James Cosmo(Braveheart, etc) is big and blustery, doing his thing. Keifer Sutherland is in the house, being the shady American.

Japanese soldiers are portrayed as horrible, inhumane guards, trying to break the spirit of the noble Scots. Beating, abusing, even killing, prisoners for all kinds of slights, while severely underfeeding and overworking them. The prison camp was tasked with building a railroad through the jungle, connecting Thailand with India.

The prisoners start having little classes, to try to stay sane. This is where it gets cheesy. I hate, HATE it when people spout random Shakespeare quotes to sounds edumacated. Some random dying dude 'Taught Shakespeare at Cambridge', and to prove it he spouts a few lines from the most quoted monologue of the worlds best known play, Hamlet. The leader of their little group tries to teach these emaciated, desperate men Plato's version of justice. They have a graduation, giving out 'diplomas' for things like Ethics.

The school aspect is tedious and ridiculous. There are also some waaaaaay overhanded religious overtones, culminating with a man actually getting crucified. I think this movie had potential, but I really disliked it.

Wedding Daze

Wedding Daze. Quirky little romantic comedy, with a twist. It was written and directed by one of my favorite comedic brains, Michael Ian Black. Mugs is a recent convert, so we both watched. BTW, there's a shockingly incomplete IMDB page for this movie, it doesn't even have a cast listing...

First of all, let me say that Jason Biggs is annoying. Very annoying. However, the movie survives this. The female co-star is Mrs. Sacha Baron Cohen, er, I mean the lovely Isla Fisher. She shines in this movie as a fairly unstable but terribly charming young woman. Her friends are two circusies(I made that up, meaning carnies but about the circus?), Matador in particular steals most of the scenes he is in.

The parents of each of them are quite funny, and definitely don't follow any over-used cliches I remember. Each time there was a scene I might groan at in a normal rom-com, Ian Black took it another direction. Surprising us, grossing us out, or just being silly. He humor was stamped all over this.

Mediocre acting spiced with a good script and some truly original ideas. I liked it, and I think you will if you are into weird movies.

He was a Quiet man

He was a Quiet man.

Christian Slater, Elisha Cuthbert, William H. Macy. Word. I like weird movies, and the cover has a lot of potential.

I have always liked Christian Slater. Heathers, Pump up the Volume, Gleaming the Cube, Kuffs, he's like a more serious and more attractive Norm MacDonald. Elisha Cuthbert doesn't have to take chances at this point. She can just be safe, play knockouts and make a ton of money. But she plays quirky, fun roles. We all know what we're getting with William H.

The movie takes place mostly in the mind of the severely deranged Bob Maconel(Slater). For most of the movie, you can't tell if it's really happening or not. Innovative camera angles, good writing, good acting, and originality make this movie at least worth seeing. There are elements that will remind you of 'Office Space', and parts like nothing you've ever seen.

If you've got some time, check it out.

The Bucket List

The Bucket List. At work, waiting to go to the gym. Bucket List was, um, available. Old story I know. Anyhoo, it's not that long, so I decided to give it a shot.

Jack Nicholson, Morgan Freeman. Good start.
Movie about what two old guys do after they find out they're dying. Uh oh, you're losing me fast.
The movie never recovered.

Nicholson plays the rich, annoying asshole I'm sure he's played many times, Freeman the quiet all-too-wise man. Boo-ring. I think both of them have some good years left in them, but in Bucket List it's like each is a caricature of himself. Freeman is constantly spouting useless facts and info. This is annoying in a precocious child, it's mind numbing in an old man who doesn't seem to read much.

I can't stand to think about this movie more. Didn't like it.

TV Update

Sunday/Monday I watched a couple of really moronic movies. Not like bad(good), but not worth reviewing/uninteresting bad. So I'll talk about some of the TV I've been watching.

First, for a reason, The Wire. I know this isn't an original thought but this is the best show on television. Terrific acting, great writing, unparalleled realism. They don't take sides, and they don't overwhelm you with star power. People become famous from being on the Wire, not the other way around. My question is this : why are shows this good so rare? I don't know what makes it so, but can't we get those people to do more projects? Lets use this talent.
If you can't take violence I guess don't watch it, but if you're curious at all, get the Season 1 DVDs and check it out. You won't be a sheep, you'll be a fan.

Sunday/Monday I watched the 'TWO NIGHT PREMIER' of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. The show doesn't particularly focus on Sarah over Jon or even their pet terminator, but it's not a bad name, just slightly inaccurate. I like this show a lot. They pick up from after T2, acting like that was the last movie. This seems like a good move, and leaves us a lot of time and room to work with. The the mains are pretty good :
Thomas Dekker is no Ed Furlong, but he's a better Jon than Nick Stahl (not a bad actor, just not J Connor)
Lena Headey is pretty kick ass, tho LH was crazy ripped when T2 came out. Lena is prettier tho.
Summer Glau is the best part. I remember her from Firefly/Serenity, and she has that same foreign/not quite right look all the time. I think she's a terrific personal Terminator.
Anyways, the show has suspense, a bit of humor and a lot of good action. I like it so far.

This got longer than I expected, so I'll stop for now. Tho I'll say I'm already getting sick of American Gladiators, and I don't get what people like so much about Prison Break. Hasta pronto faithful readers.

Charlie Wilson's War

Charlie Wilson's War.

This is the tale(based on a true story) of how one ambitious congressman from Texas wanted to stop an invasion of Afghanistan, and wound up ending the cold war and causing the breakup of the Soviet Union.

Wheeling, dealing, shoot from the hip Texas boy Tom Hanks(Wilson) knows everyone on Capitol Hill. He has 'the most IOU's in Washington' and he's on a few important committees. He chases women, does cocaine, and consorts with shady characters. Even with all of this, he seems to have his heart in the right place. Convinced by the sixth richest woman in Houston(Julia Roberts) to intervene, Wilson puts the wheels in motion. Joining him in his cause is gruff, asshole-to-everyone(which is supposed to be charming) CIA agent Gust, played by Philip Seymour Hoffman, who I think is one of the best actors around. Hoffman delivers one of my favorite lines in recent memory :

"I want to take a minute to review the several ways you are a douche bag"

Getting natural enemies to cooperate, pleasing his locals, and avoiding his own legal trouble, Wilson is a whirlwind of accomplishments. The story is kind of fun if you don't take it too seriously. I'm a big Tom Hanks fan, and Hoffman was his normal standout self. Julia Roberts, who annoys me normally, also looked awful. From the start, this is a pretty sexually charged movie which surprised me, but it works. It also has a nice role for Amy Adams. She's been good in everything I've seen her in. I asked for more, I got it.

Not for children, or for Hankophobes, but enjoyable.

Happenstance

So I tried to watch a movie twice. Both times I fell asleep. This is more a statement of my state than the movie. My fiancee Margo made it through the movie, so I asked her to review it. Without further ado, here's my first guest review :

---
Happenstance.

Christopher asked me to be his premier guest reviewer. The movie he asked me to comment on is entitled, "The Beating of the Butterfly's Wings," a.k.a. "Happenstance," a.k.a. "Amelie 2," (in Hong Kong only). "Amelie 2" is the best of the three English titles because at its heart the movie is about two strangers, Irene (Audrey Tatou) and Younes (Faudel), on a train one morning, who learn from their shared horoscope that they will meet their true love that day. The film then sets out to show the viewers how "the butterfly effect" will bring the same two people together once more under the full moon.

The "butterfly" plot line seems somewhat choppy at times, but gives us a chance to see a less adorable and more watchable Tatou than in "Amelie." In addition we are treated to 19 other colorful characters. Included is Luc, (Eric Feldman), a pathological liar who draws everyone he meets into his grandiose tales, only to finally reveal his true character to a woman who cannot understand a word of French. Too bad his character did not reach the final stages of Tatou and Faudel's meeting.

Tatou and Faudel give strong performances as star-crossed lovers. If you are in the mood for a light, foreign, romantic movie "Happenstance" has the charm of a typical romantic comedy with some added surprises from the characters on the sidelines.

The Vikings

The Vikings. (1958) A few months ago I saw Pathfinder. Which was awful. Worse than awful, offal. Some reviewers mentioned that it was loosely based on The Vikings, which was apparently much better. They were right on both accounts.

We have a story involving a confusing British line of succession(surprise!) and brutal Viking raiders who hate these same Brits(though they seem to hate everyone) and kill the English king in the first five minutes of the movie. Ernest Borgnine is a good Ragnar(Viking king) and Kirk Douglas is shines as the handsome, agile but ruthless and womanizing prince. Their slave, and the man who is the lost heir to the British throne is Tony Curtis, with everyones love interest in the film being Curtis' real life wife, Janet Leigh.

The plot isn't that important to my review, but the movie is very well made for 1958, and IMO still holds up today. I was watching it on a computer that locks after 15 minutes of inactivity, and it locked on me three times, because I was just watching the movie. That pretty much never happens to me, so it's a testament how interested in it I was. Worth watching if you can ignore some silly old timey things like rubber swords.

Gone Baby Gone

Gone Baby Gone. I watched this movie last night, after killing my friend Dan at pool then watching the season premier of The Wire. Quick note on The Wire : still a great show. I do think the premise of this season feels a bit forced. They didn't flow into it like other seasons. However, I'm sure they'll make it great.

Back to movies. Gone Baby Gone had a lot going for it. Set in my old neighborhood in Dorchester MA (where the Wahlbergs are from), I liked it already. This is an authentic Boston Movie. How was it not at least as popular as The Departed? It's a terrific movie, and IT'S NOT A REMAKE! I can't really explain how much it frustrates me that Scorsese won best director for remaking mostly shot for shot a Chinese movie that was better than his. That's not good directing! AARGH!!!

OK. Ok. ok. I've calmed down now. Just don't talk to me about The Departed.

So, GBG as I'll call it cause I don't want to type out the whole name. GBG was well directed(go Ben), well casted, well acted, and just plain jolly well done. Casey Affleck is showing that he is a great actor, and capable of being the star of a big movie. His better half is the always lovely Michelle Monaghan(who was great in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and Mi:III). Well, usually lovely, as she looked pretty ordinary in GBG. I think it was on purpose tho, this wasn't the part for a knockout. Ed Harris was his usual commanding powerful self, and Morgan Freeman seemed genuine, like I haven't seen since 10 items or less.

Good story, good movie length. Can you tell I liked this movie? One small complaint. Casey sometimes seems an awful like Ben when making a speech. Which I don't really like, but what can he do? It's genetic. I think this should win awards, go see this movie.

Atonement

Atonement. This movie arrives with a lot of hype. It has a lot to live up to, and in general that is not a good thing.

A slow English WWII period piece, it is not without its merits. Beautiful scenery, gritty war-time footage, and some gruesome injuries. The movie is original in its composition, often showing a scene, then showing the same events from another point of view. The war scenes are well researched and well done, and the characters are fairly successful at making us care about them.

Not a lot of big names here. People liked James McAvoy in Last King of Scotland, but he was kind of annoying in Atonement. Keira Knightly shines visually, but her performance was physically painful. She was in such a hurry to spit out lines too fast that she rarely waited for other people to finish speaking. This is a common occurrence in poor acting. Lines just don't sound natural when there's been no time for someone to formulate what they're saying. This happened a bit in Juno, tho the lines sounded natural.

Overall, watch it for the visuals, and be ready to sit around a bit.

Death Sentence

Death Sentence. I didn't know too much about this movie coming in. But it was, um, available... So I gave it a shot.

Strange movie from the start. Kevin Bacon is one truly ugly dude. His acting doesn't bowl me over either. Between his preachiness and self indulgence, if I didn't know, I would have guessed that he wrote this movie for himself. We are shown the Humes, a 'perfect' little family. Loving mother and father, with two darling children. Then disaster strikes.

The older son, Golden Boy we'll call him, is killed while father looks on. Kevin Bacon seeks revenge, and everyone's world is turned upside down. At work he starts to resemble Edward Norton from fight club(at work), he is lying to his family, and he involves his family in a gang war. Aisha Tyler plays a serious role, as the detective who keeps berating Kevin Bacon every time he is mourning. Garrett Hedlund(Brad Pitt's cousin in Troy) is good as the main bad guy, and I really liked John Goodman as his father.

Poorly conceived movie poorly implemented. One cool old mustang, and a few good Goodman scenes do little to make it more than barely watchable. I'd say wait til it's on TV.

Enchanted

Enchanted. I saw this a month or two ago, with my fiancee and her mom. Hey, even Kevin Youkilis has a boss, ok?

This is kind of half animation/half live action mish mash of a few Disney movies involving princesses. We open with animation, a princess who longs for a mate, and a brave prince who longs for a worthy princess. They turn out to be looking for each other, but just before they can marry, the Evil Witch sends them through some sort of portal to another dimension. Live action Time Square. Full of sights, sounds, smells, and McDreamy, who happens across our princess.

She livens up his apartment and life, and McDreamy's daughter loves her. The prince seems to not understand that this world works by different rules, and hi jinx ensue. They both gallop around the city, looking for each other, charming the people of our mundane world. There is a lot of singing, and some way over the top Disney. An ending will surprise no one but please most.

Great movie for kids, and Amy Adams is terrific. I'd like to see her in more movies.

Stardust

Stardust. Last time I was in DC, I watched this with my mom. She likes Sci-fi/Fantasy, I like Sci-fi/Fantasy. Giddyup.

The name makes it sound like a space adventure, no? Well, that's what I thought. This was just straight fantasy though, which was ok.

The story starts out with a young man on an adventure, not really knowing what he is getting himself in to. This boy grows up, we flash to present day(for the movie) and the man's son, who is now a young man himself. Kind of a nerd, the son needs something to get the attention of the local 'it' girl. The girl is Sienna Miller. For some reason I keep not knowing it's her in movies until I read the IMDB. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.

Meanwhile, there's a quirky and unique contest going on to determine the succession for the crown in a faraway land. This adds some humor to the movie, and some uniqueness. Michelle Pfeiffer is an evil witch who is trying to kill everyone. In the end? The good guy wins. Don't worry folks, I'm not ruining any surprises.

Some interesting ideas, worth watching if you already wanted to, but nothing to write home about.

War

War. War starred Jet Li. This may be a strange thing to say, but I kind of want to have Jet Li's children. I think I would watch a movie about zombie spiders if it was starring Jet Li. Jason Statham had more camera time than anyone in War, but for me Jet Li is the main actor.

Basically, FBI(Statham) agents are following a war between Yakuza(Japanese) and Triad(Chinese) gangs in LA. Jet Li is kind of playing both sides, and killing people left and right. We see lots of kick ass martial arts, Li and Statham, some fun Asian film stars, even Devon Aoki. Who I'm a fan of. Latino 'that guy' Luis Guzman has a nice little part, and my fiancee likes him so that's good. I loved him in 'Waiting'.

There's sword fighting, a twist at the end, and some cool cars. I wasn't expecting a good movie, so I wasn't disappointed. See it if you are a fan of Li, Statham, or Aoki. Otherwise, wait for TV

Resident Evil : Extinction

Resident Evil : Extinction. Wait one second. A movie came out in 2007 that was the third in a series? That's ridiculous. I don't believe it. Pinch me.

Coming in, I expect :
Milla Jovovich kicking some ass
Weird infected creatures (not Zombies, I don't watch Zombie movies)
Some scenery in the fuuuuuu tuuuuuure

I got what I wanted. Milla Jovovich(actually many of them) kicking ass in her red dress. She'salso developed some pretty strong PSI powers.
Weird, shuffling, mindless creatures milling about and groaning(sounds like zombies right? Wrong! Not Zombies - this is an important distinction for me). Wiki incorrectly lists these as Zombies, but I know they aren't. You cannot convince me otherwise.
Also, a vision of the post-apocalyptic future. Which was surprisingly similar to the future in like 100 other movies. Ali Larter was also in it for fans of Lost. ** It's Heroes I guess. I don't watch either of them cause I missed the boat. Thanks for the correction :)

If I played the game Resident Evil I prolly would have loved it. But I got what I expected, and I was satisfied. Watch it on TV if you can.

No Country for Old Men

No Country for Old Men. Wow. That is my reaction to this movie. Wow. I liked it a-laht.

Beautiful scenery, good acting, and most of all simplicity. I love the simplicity of this movie. No twists and turns, just straight ahead. Like the villain. Slow, inevitable, nigh on unstoppable. Javier Bardem is terrific in this movie. He embodies what scares me about Zombies, but he has intelligence behind it, and I think in his head he is enjoying his interactions with people who have the misfortune of crossing him. His Spanish accent seems to come and go, which bothers me a tiny bit, but that's almost the only thing I didn't like about the movie.

I liked all of the characters, the settings, the dialog. I didn't realize Tommy Lee Jones was in this movie, and he had a terrific voice-over and a nice little part as a Sheriff. Really, I could have watched and listened to his character all day. He should dictate books on tape. I'd 'read' more.

Anyway, it is a little violent, and a little slow. Neither is a problem for me.
Not for everyone, but I highly enjoyed it.

I Am Legend

I Am Legend. Looked like a cool movie. Will Smith + Post apocalyptic + based on a story people seemed to like = I'll see it.

I've been excited to see this for a long time. Beautiful scenery, good action,
. The movie opens in present time(well, 2009) just when a 'cure for cancer' has been discovered. Obviously this goes horribly wrong, and everyone on Earth turns into a TURNIP!! No, Carrot! No, a bad guy. 90% die, 10% become a bad guy. Still interesting. Not as interesting as 600 million sentient turnips, but oh well, I didn't write it.

Will Smith has carved himself a little niche. All the food he wants, any car he wants (including a smoov Mustang, which must have been a product placement) and a nice little doggie. He talks to Mannequins and conducts experiments on bad guy rats. He's looking for other survivors and trying to find a cure to the problem.

That's all I'll tell you about the plot. Will Smith was great, and his dog was convincing. The scenery was great, and the CGI on baddies was seamless. Truly scary, PG-13 was pushing it even without any swearing, nudity or graphic violence.

I didn't love the ending, and the whole thing resembled 28 days later far too much for me. I know the story is older. I just mean the style of this particular movie. I still recommend it.

30 Days of Night

30 Days of Night. Alaska, Vampires, good previews, Josh Hartnett. Sure, I'll give it a try.

Set in the Alaskan city of Barrow, where the sun goes down for an extended period of time(30 days exactly in the movie, 65-67 days in real life) and Vampires seem to have discovered this phenomenon. Seems like a good idea for Vampires, right? 30 days of night? If they could remove garlic and wooden stakes from this town it might be a Vampirey little utopia.

So Vampires attack this town. With much gore and high pitched screeching(which I'm sure my neighbors didn't love) they slaughter the people of the town, leaving blood pools all over the snow and various building floors. Our little group of survivors hides out in an attack, which the rest of town is besieged. Then they go to a store or office of some sort, after collecting supplies from a local shop. There are a large number of vampires, in a small town, many of them in elevated vantage points(they hang out on roofs). I assume they have ears, and probably noses, but they seem to not notice whenever our protagonists move around.
7 days pass without a whimper. No food or water problems. No waste management problems, no vampires getting curious about the one building with lights on and sounds coming out. Then 18 days have passed. What? The passage of time in this movie is beyond crazy.

A large number of people sacrifice themselves to save everyone, some in very inefficient ways.
The Vampires seem to just run away when their leader is killed. And we lose our main hero as well.

Badly thought out action, and just way too far out concepts for us to swallow. Idea could have been good, but ends up just being the second worst movie I saw this weekend...

National Treasure II

National Treasure II. Yes, I know it has a real, Harry Potter ish name, but the first one was awful, and I'm expecting worse from this one.

Maybe he was good earlier in his career, but right now Nicolas Cage is NOT a good actor. He's annoying, and always looks the same. Why is he possibly the biggest movie star in the world right now? Maybe for the same reason Jerry Bruckheimer keeps getting his name attached to huge budget films. Terrible terrible big budget films.

National treasure tried hard to top the ridiculousness of the first one. They succeeded! Nicolas Cage and his father tell a story about how their great great grandfather was a national hero. Shortly followed by Ed Harris producing proof that he was a conspirator in the death of Lincoln. Gates(Cage) is torn by this information, and starts being heckled in public by people who seem to care about this news.

We now embark upon trying to find the greatest treasure map ever. Or something. I thought this crap left us with Indiana Jones(movies which were actually very well done, I hope Shia doesn't ruin that run). Our heroes break into Buckingham Palace, the White House, and then kidnap the president.

yadda yadda yadda, we find a golden city.

I can't bring myself to give more details. What a bad movie. The only positive is that I just watched 30 days of Night, and it wasn't quite as bad as this tripe.