Sunday, June 22, 2008

All In

All In. First of all, you may know I'm a poker player. So I try to keep up on poker movies. Second of all, who doesn't love Dominique Swain? I'm also a big fan of the overly-candid Michael Madsen. So far, so good. Right? If only we stayed there.

This is a bad film. bad ... Bad ... BAD. Terrible, awful. Remarkable horrible. Physically painful. What was so bad you ask? A-HA! What a question. What elements are there in a movie? That's what is bad about it.
Casting, check
Acting, check
Music, check
Writing, check
Everything, check
The filming style felt like a terrible soap opera.

Some notes from the film :

-Doctors tell med students they're useless and dangerous in front of the patients they're about to treat
-Prestigious medical schools have small lecture rooms with armless deskless chairs and antique chalkboards
-A cabal of poker experts with inside information who are basically cheating still need terrible acting and a lucky river card to win a single hand
-Poker rooms and tournaments use generic monochromatic chips, with no logo or denomination on them
-A team of medical students including a math genius needs a wristwatch to observe the difference between 4 and 8 seconds
-All poker players do the EXACT same thing every time they bluff or have a hand. And don't realize it. And show their cards at the end of every hand.
- A 3-7 straight ALWAYS gets there. And wins.
I don't want to go on. It's putting me in a bad mood, and that's not fair to Margo. Trust me on this.

Even being a cinematic professional, I can't believe I finished. But I did. And it was for you, gentle reader. I hope you can appreciate my sacrifice. In the span of a week I get to replace the best(In Bruges) and worst(All In) movies reviewed on this site. Enjoy.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I just finished watching this movie and I have to say I was cracking up the whole time at the "poker". "Ace" is supposed to be awesome at poker and plays every hand wrong. She is supposed to be acting like she doesn't know how to play in the cash game and needs to suck-out to win. I also enjoyed that the guy needed a stop watch to know the difference between 4 and 8 seconds. Nice Review.