10,000 B.C.

10,000 B.C. It looked very intriguing when it came to theaters, and even though it would most likely be bad I still wanted to see it. I finally got my opportunity today. I expected something similar to Apocalypto, which was bad(like a 4 out of 10 maybe), but not as horrendous as everyone seemed to write. I believe some of the bad reviews it garnered were anti-Mel Gibson sentiment.

10kbc is bad. Very bad. Very Very bad. Much worse than Apocalypto. I think the decision to subtitle was very good in Apoc, the decision to have everyone speak English in 10kbc was a poor one. It was ridiculous. The idea that they would have a complex spoken language in 12 thousand years ago is just silly. That a whole other race would speak it fluently(complete with idioms) after meeting one man for a short period of time is sillier. That men could speak English to our hero, and real time translate with someone speaking a third language entirely from a few hundred yards away is the silliest yet. Language was far from the movie's only problems. The geography and technology were both so out of place one wonders why they bothered trying to say it was earth, or naming it as a specific time in history.

OK, time to stop picking on details. The acting? Terrible. Writing? Maybe it was written by the woolly mammoths they must have spent so much money CGI'ing. The score was over the top and completely inappropriate. I watch a lot of bad movies(as you can see here). I don't mind watching bad movies, I have fun with them. 10,000 BC however, wasn't fun to watch. If I wasn't reviewing it, I would have turned it off pretty quickly. The writer and director should be punished for this result. What's that you say? They're the same person? And he produced it too? For shame Roland Emmerich, for shame. He has a history of bad, large scale movies. I'm honestly surprised he didn't make Waterworld, whose level of disaster nears 10kbc.

Don't see this movie. Or see it for free. Don't give any more money to such a bad project. Maybe Emmerich will stop making movies, or maybe not. One can only hope ...

(PS, as I write this, The Last Castle is on TV. A guard in a tower just shot a prisoner in the head from about a hundred yards with a shotgun. A shotgun. And it only made an entry and exit hole. Huh? How many things are wrong with that?)