The Golden Compass

The Golden Compass. From the first preview, I wanted to see this movie. It's yet another movie based upon a fantasy trilogy, but it looked like it had some cool ideas, and polar bears fighting. Can't go wrong there right?

The movie opens up by giving us a bit too much information about things to come, but it ropes you in. Short and sweet credits, I'm ready for a ride. At first the star(another girl named Dakota) Lyra seems a bit annoying. She always looks angry, wearing a perpetual sneer. Eventually it changes to perpetual confidence. She is completely unflappable, which becomes endearing. Daniel Craig has a small role, but does well with it. I'm sure he'll play a larger part in the next two movies.

I'm not going to talk about the plot too much, but I liked it. Nicole Kidman is just alright, not shining. I think she can be a lot scarier. In each movie she is in, the "work" she's had done becomes more obvious and detracts from her more.

The movie is a lot of fun, good story, and a lot of good CGI which is extremely well integrated. I'd definitely recommend this movie. After I got home from the movie, I started poking around, and a lot of people really didn't like this movie. They are mostly in two camps : People who loved the book and thought it didn't compare, and religious nuts. I do want to read the book, so I can comment on that part later. Religious nuts tho, give it a break. It is soooooooo annoying, and you're winning neither friends nor converts by protesting movies and books.

To End All Wars

To End All Wars. Pretty awesome cover, good reviews, a somewhat unique setting(Scottish POW's in a Japanese prison camp in Thailand)

Good start, Scottish soldiers, bagpipes, real Scottish actors. I'm a big fan of Robert Carlyle. Maybe he'll be a good guy in this movie? No, don't hold your breath. Big, blustery Scot James Cosmo(Braveheart, etc) is big and blustery, doing his thing. Keifer Sutherland is in the house, being the shady American.

Japanese soldiers are portrayed as horrible, inhumane guards, trying to break the spirit of the noble Scots. Beating, abusing, even killing, prisoners for all kinds of slights, while severely underfeeding and overworking them. The prison camp was tasked with building a railroad through the jungle, connecting Thailand with India.

The prisoners start having little classes, to try to stay sane. This is where it gets cheesy. I hate, HATE it when people spout random Shakespeare quotes to sounds edumacated. Some random dying dude 'Taught Shakespeare at Cambridge', and to prove it he spouts a few lines from the most quoted monologue of the worlds best known play, Hamlet. The leader of their little group tries to teach these emaciated, desperate men Plato's version of justice. They have a graduation, giving out 'diplomas' for things like Ethics.

The school aspect is tedious and ridiculous. There are also some waaaaaay overhanded religious overtones, culminating with a man actually getting crucified. I think this movie had potential, but I really disliked it.

Wedding Daze

Wedding Daze. Quirky little romantic comedy, with a twist. It was written and directed by one of my favorite comedic brains, Michael Ian Black. Mugs is a recent convert, so we both watched. BTW, there's a shockingly incomplete IMDB page for this movie, it doesn't even have a cast listing...

First of all, let me say that Jason Biggs is annoying. Very annoying. However, the movie survives this. The female co-star is Mrs. Sacha Baron Cohen, er, I mean the lovely Isla Fisher. She shines in this movie as a fairly unstable but terribly charming young woman. Her friends are two circusies(I made that up, meaning carnies but about the circus?), Matador in particular steals most of the scenes he is in.

The parents of each of them are quite funny, and definitely don't follow any over-used cliches I remember. Each time there was a scene I might groan at in a normal rom-com, Ian Black took it another direction. Surprising us, grossing us out, or just being silly. He humor was stamped all over this.

Mediocre acting spiced with a good script and some truly original ideas. I liked it, and I think you will if you are into weird movies.

He was a Quiet man

He was a Quiet man.

Christian Slater, Elisha Cuthbert, William H. Macy. Word. I like weird movies, and the cover has a lot of potential.

I have always liked Christian Slater. Heathers, Pump up the Volume, Gleaming the Cube, Kuffs, he's like a more serious and more attractive Norm MacDonald. Elisha Cuthbert doesn't have to take chances at this point. She can just be safe, play knockouts and make a ton of money. But she plays quirky, fun roles. We all know what we're getting with William H.

The movie takes place mostly in the mind of the severely deranged Bob Maconel(Slater). For most of the movie, you can't tell if it's really happening or not. Innovative camera angles, good writing, good acting, and originality make this movie at least worth seeing. There are elements that will remind you of 'Office Space', and parts like nothing you've ever seen.

If you've got some time, check it out.

The Bucket List

The Bucket List. At work, waiting to go to the gym. Bucket List was, um, available. Old story I know. Anyhoo, it's not that long, so I decided to give it a shot.

Jack Nicholson, Morgan Freeman. Good start.
Movie about what two old guys do after they find out they're dying. Uh oh, you're losing me fast.
The movie never recovered.

Nicholson plays the rich, annoying asshole I'm sure he's played many times, Freeman the quiet all-too-wise man. Boo-ring. I think both of them have some good years left in them, but in Bucket List it's like each is a caricature of himself. Freeman is constantly spouting useless facts and info. This is annoying in a precocious child, it's mind numbing in an old man who doesn't seem to read much.

I can't stand to think about this movie more. Didn't like it.

TV Update

Sunday/Monday I watched a couple of really moronic movies. Not like bad(good), but not worth reviewing/uninteresting bad. So I'll talk about some of the TV I've been watching.

First, for a reason, The Wire. I know this isn't an original thought but this is the best show on television. Terrific acting, great writing, unparalleled realism. They don't take sides, and they don't overwhelm you with star power. People become famous from being on the Wire, not the other way around. My question is this : why are shows this good so rare? I don't know what makes it so, but can't we get those people to do more projects? Lets use this talent.
If you can't take violence I guess don't watch it, but if you're curious at all, get the Season 1 DVDs and check it out. You won't be a sheep, you'll be a fan.

Sunday/Monday I watched the 'TWO NIGHT PREMIER' of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. The show doesn't particularly focus on Sarah over Jon or even their pet terminator, but it's not a bad name, just slightly inaccurate. I like this show a lot. They pick up from after T2, acting like that was the last movie. This seems like a good move, and leaves us a lot of time and room to work with. The the mains are pretty good :
Thomas Dekker is no Ed Furlong, but he's a better Jon than Nick Stahl (not a bad actor, just not J Connor)
Lena Headey is pretty kick ass, tho LH was crazy ripped when T2 came out. Lena is prettier tho.
Summer Glau is the best part. I remember her from Firefly/Serenity, and she has that same foreign/not quite right look all the time. I think she's a terrific personal Terminator.
Anyways, the show has suspense, a bit of humor and a lot of good action. I like it so far.

This got longer than I expected, so I'll stop for now. Tho I'll say I'm already getting sick of American Gladiators, and I don't get what people like so much about Prison Break. Hasta pronto faithful readers.

Charlie Wilson's War

Charlie Wilson's War.

This is the tale(based on a true story) of how one ambitious congressman from Texas wanted to stop an invasion of Afghanistan, and wound up ending the cold war and causing the breakup of the Soviet Union.

Wheeling, dealing, shoot from the hip Texas boy Tom Hanks(Wilson) knows everyone on Capitol Hill. He has 'the most IOU's in Washington' and he's on a few important committees. He chases women, does cocaine, and consorts with shady characters. Even with all of this, he seems to have his heart in the right place. Convinced by the sixth richest woman in Houston(Julia Roberts) to intervene, Wilson puts the wheels in motion. Joining him in his cause is gruff, asshole-to-everyone(which is supposed to be charming) CIA agent Gust, played by Philip Seymour Hoffman, who I think is one of the best actors around. Hoffman delivers one of my favorite lines in recent memory :

"I want to take a minute to review the several ways you are a douche bag"

Getting natural enemies to cooperate, pleasing his locals, and avoiding his own legal trouble, Wilson is a whirlwind of accomplishments. The story is kind of fun if you don't take it too seriously. I'm a big Tom Hanks fan, and Hoffman was his normal standout self. Julia Roberts, who annoys me normally, also looked awful. From the start, this is a pretty sexually charged movie which surprised me, but it works. It also has a nice role for Amy Adams. She's been good in everything I've seen her in. I asked for more, I got it.

Not for children, or for Hankophobes, but enjoyable.

Happenstance

So I tried to watch a movie twice. Both times I fell asleep. This is more a statement of my state than the movie. My fiancee Margo made it through the movie, so I asked her to review it. Without further ado, here's my first guest review :

---
Happenstance.

Christopher asked me to be his premier guest reviewer. The movie he asked me to comment on is entitled, "The Beating of the Butterfly's Wings," a.k.a. "Happenstance," a.k.a. "Amelie 2," (in Hong Kong only). "Amelie 2" is the best of the three English titles because at its heart the movie is about two strangers, Irene (Audrey Tatou) and Younes (Faudel), on a train one morning, who learn from their shared horoscope that they will meet their true love that day. The film then sets out to show the viewers how "the butterfly effect" will bring the same two people together once more under the full moon.

The "butterfly" plot line seems somewhat choppy at times, but gives us a chance to see a less adorable and more watchable Tatou than in "Amelie." In addition we are treated to 19 other colorful characters. Included is Luc, (Eric Feldman), a pathological liar who draws everyone he meets into his grandiose tales, only to finally reveal his true character to a woman who cannot understand a word of French. Too bad his character did not reach the final stages of Tatou and Faudel's meeting.

Tatou and Faudel give strong performances as star-crossed lovers. If you are in the mood for a light, foreign, romantic movie "Happenstance" has the charm of a typical romantic comedy with some added surprises from the characters on the sidelines.

The Vikings

The Vikings. (1958) A few months ago I saw Pathfinder. Which was awful. Worse than awful, offal. Some reviewers mentioned that it was loosely based on The Vikings, which was apparently much better. They were right on both accounts.

We have a story involving a confusing British line of succession(surprise!) and brutal Viking raiders who hate these same Brits(though they seem to hate everyone) and kill the English king in the first five minutes of the movie. Ernest Borgnine is a good Ragnar(Viking king) and Kirk Douglas is shines as the handsome, agile but ruthless and womanizing prince. Their slave, and the man who is the lost heir to the British throne is Tony Curtis, with everyones love interest in the film being Curtis' real life wife, Janet Leigh.

The plot isn't that important to my review, but the movie is very well made for 1958, and IMO still holds up today. I was watching it on a computer that locks after 15 minutes of inactivity, and it locked on me three times, because I was just watching the movie. That pretty much never happens to me, so it's a testament how interested in it I was. Worth watching if you can ignore some silly old timey things like rubber swords.

Gone Baby Gone

Gone Baby Gone. I watched this movie last night, after killing my friend Dan at pool then watching the season premier of The Wire. Quick note on The Wire : still a great show. I do think the premise of this season feels a bit forced. They didn't flow into it like other seasons. However, I'm sure they'll make it great.

Back to movies. Gone Baby Gone had a lot going for it. Set in my old neighborhood in Dorchester MA (where the Wahlbergs are from), I liked it already. This is an authentic Boston Movie. How was it not at least as popular as The Departed? It's a terrific movie, and IT'S NOT A REMAKE! I can't really explain how much it frustrates me that Scorsese won best director for remaking mostly shot for shot a Chinese movie that was better than his. That's not good directing! AARGH!!!

OK. Ok. ok. I've calmed down now. Just don't talk to me about The Departed.

So, GBG as I'll call it cause I don't want to type out the whole name. GBG was well directed(go Ben), well casted, well acted, and just plain jolly well done. Casey Affleck is showing that he is a great actor, and capable of being the star of a big movie. His better half is the always lovely Michelle Monaghan(who was great in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and Mi:III). Well, usually lovely, as she looked pretty ordinary in GBG. I think it was on purpose tho, this wasn't the part for a knockout. Ed Harris was his usual commanding powerful self, and Morgan Freeman seemed genuine, like I haven't seen since 10 items or less.

Good story, good movie length. Can you tell I liked this movie? One small complaint. Casey sometimes seems an awful like Ben when making a speech. Which I don't really like, but what can he do? It's genetic. I think this should win awards, go see this movie.

Atonement

Atonement. This movie arrives with a lot of hype. It has a lot to live up to, and in general that is not a good thing.

A slow English WWII period piece, it is not without its merits. Beautiful scenery, gritty war-time footage, and some gruesome injuries. The movie is original in its composition, often showing a scene, then showing the same events from another point of view. The war scenes are well researched and well done, and the characters are fairly successful at making us care about them.

Not a lot of big names here. People liked James McAvoy in Last King of Scotland, but he was kind of annoying in Atonement. Keira Knightly shines visually, but her performance was physically painful. She was in such a hurry to spit out lines too fast that she rarely waited for other people to finish speaking. This is a common occurrence in poor acting. Lines just don't sound natural when there's been no time for someone to formulate what they're saying. This happened a bit in Juno, tho the lines sounded natural.

Overall, watch it for the visuals, and be ready to sit around a bit.

Death Sentence

Death Sentence. I didn't know too much about this movie coming in. But it was, um, available... So I gave it a shot.

Strange movie from the start. Kevin Bacon is one truly ugly dude. His acting doesn't bowl me over either. Between his preachiness and self indulgence, if I didn't know, I would have guessed that he wrote this movie for himself. We are shown the Humes, a 'perfect' little family. Loving mother and father, with two darling children. Then disaster strikes.

The older son, Golden Boy we'll call him, is killed while father looks on. Kevin Bacon seeks revenge, and everyone's world is turned upside down. At work he starts to resemble Edward Norton from fight club(at work), he is lying to his family, and he involves his family in a gang war. Aisha Tyler plays a serious role, as the detective who keeps berating Kevin Bacon every time he is mourning. Garrett Hedlund(Brad Pitt's cousin in Troy) is good as the main bad guy, and I really liked John Goodman as his father.

Poorly conceived movie poorly implemented. One cool old mustang, and a few good Goodman scenes do little to make it more than barely watchable. I'd say wait til it's on TV.

Enchanted

Enchanted. I saw this a month or two ago, with my fiancee and her mom. Hey, even Kevin Youkilis has a boss, ok?

This is kind of half animation/half live action mish mash of a few Disney movies involving princesses. We open with animation, a princess who longs for a mate, and a brave prince who longs for a worthy princess. They turn out to be looking for each other, but just before they can marry, the Evil Witch sends them through some sort of portal to another dimension. Live action Time Square. Full of sights, sounds, smells, and McDreamy, who happens across our princess.

She livens up his apartment and life, and McDreamy's daughter loves her. The prince seems to not understand that this world works by different rules, and hi jinx ensue. They both gallop around the city, looking for each other, charming the people of our mundane world. There is a lot of singing, and some way over the top Disney. An ending will surprise no one but please most.

Great movie for kids, and Amy Adams is terrific. I'd like to see her in more movies.

Stardust

Stardust. Last time I was in DC, I watched this with my mom. She likes Sci-fi/Fantasy, I like Sci-fi/Fantasy. Giddyup.

The name makes it sound like a space adventure, no? Well, that's what I thought. This was just straight fantasy though, which was ok.

The story starts out with a young man on an adventure, not really knowing what he is getting himself in to. This boy grows up, we flash to present day(for the movie) and the man's son, who is now a young man himself. Kind of a nerd, the son needs something to get the attention of the local 'it' girl. The girl is Sienna Miller. For some reason I keep not knowing it's her in movies until I read the IMDB. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.

Meanwhile, there's a quirky and unique contest going on to determine the succession for the crown in a faraway land. This adds some humor to the movie, and some uniqueness. Michelle Pfeiffer is an evil witch who is trying to kill everyone. In the end? The good guy wins. Don't worry folks, I'm not ruining any surprises.

Some interesting ideas, worth watching if you already wanted to, but nothing to write home about.

War

War. War starred Jet Li. This may be a strange thing to say, but I kind of want to have Jet Li's children. I think I would watch a movie about zombie spiders if it was starring Jet Li. Jason Statham had more camera time than anyone in War, but for me Jet Li is the main actor.

Basically, FBI(Statham) agents are following a war between Yakuza(Japanese) and Triad(Chinese) gangs in LA. Jet Li is kind of playing both sides, and killing people left and right. We see lots of kick ass martial arts, Li and Statham, some fun Asian film stars, even Devon Aoki. Who I'm a fan of. Latino 'that guy' Luis Guzman has a nice little part, and my fiancee likes him so that's good. I loved him in 'Waiting'.

There's sword fighting, a twist at the end, and some cool cars. I wasn't expecting a good movie, so I wasn't disappointed. See it if you are a fan of Li, Statham, or Aoki. Otherwise, wait for TV

Resident Evil : Extinction

Resident Evil : Extinction. Wait one second. A movie came out in 2007 that was the third in a series? That's ridiculous. I don't believe it. Pinch me.

Coming in, I expect :
Milla Jovovich kicking some ass
Weird infected creatures (not Zombies, I don't watch Zombie movies)
Some scenery in the fuuuuuu tuuuuuure

I got what I wanted. Milla Jovovich(actually many of them) kicking ass in her red dress. She'salso developed some pretty strong PSI powers.
Weird, shuffling, mindless creatures milling about and groaning(sounds like zombies right? Wrong! Not Zombies - this is an important distinction for me). Wiki incorrectly lists these as Zombies, but I know they aren't. You cannot convince me otherwise.
Also, a vision of the post-apocalyptic future. Which was surprisingly similar to the future in like 100 other movies. Ali Larter was also in it for fans of Lost. ** It's Heroes I guess. I don't watch either of them cause I missed the boat. Thanks for the correction :)

If I played the game Resident Evil I prolly would have loved it. But I got what I expected, and I was satisfied. Watch it on TV if you can.

No Country for Old Men

No Country for Old Men. Wow. That is my reaction to this movie. Wow. I liked it a-laht.

Beautiful scenery, good acting, and most of all simplicity. I love the simplicity of this movie. No twists and turns, just straight ahead. Like the villain. Slow, inevitable, nigh on unstoppable. Javier Bardem is terrific in this movie. He embodies what scares me about Zombies, but he has intelligence behind it, and I think in his head he is enjoying his interactions with people who have the misfortune of crossing him. His Spanish accent seems to come and go, which bothers me a tiny bit, but that's almost the only thing I didn't like about the movie.

I liked all of the characters, the settings, the dialog. I didn't realize Tommy Lee Jones was in this movie, and he had a terrific voice-over and a nice little part as a Sheriff. Really, I could have watched and listened to his character all day. He should dictate books on tape. I'd 'read' more.

Anyway, it is a little violent, and a little slow. Neither is a problem for me.
Not for everyone, but I highly enjoyed it.

I Am Legend

I Am Legend. Looked like a cool movie. Will Smith + Post apocalyptic + based on a story people seemed to like = I'll see it.

I've been excited to see this for a long time. Beautiful scenery, good action,
. The movie opens in present time(well, 2009) just when a 'cure for cancer' has been discovered. Obviously this goes horribly wrong, and everyone on Earth turns into a TURNIP!! No, Carrot! No, a bad guy. 90% die, 10% become a bad guy. Still interesting. Not as interesting as 600 million sentient turnips, but oh well, I didn't write it.

Will Smith has carved himself a little niche. All the food he wants, any car he wants (including a smoov Mustang, which must have been a product placement) and a nice little doggie. He talks to Mannequins and conducts experiments on bad guy rats. He's looking for other survivors and trying to find a cure to the problem.

That's all I'll tell you about the plot. Will Smith was great, and his dog was convincing. The scenery was great, and the CGI on baddies was seamless. Truly scary, PG-13 was pushing it even without any swearing, nudity or graphic violence.

I didn't love the ending, and the whole thing resembled 28 days later far too much for me. I know the story is older. I just mean the style of this particular movie. I still recommend it.

30 Days of Night

30 Days of Night. Alaska, Vampires, good previews, Josh Hartnett. Sure, I'll give it a try.

Set in the Alaskan city of Barrow, where the sun goes down for an extended period of time(30 days exactly in the movie, 65-67 days in real life) and Vampires seem to have discovered this phenomenon. Seems like a good idea for Vampires, right? 30 days of night? If they could remove garlic and wooden stakes from this town it might be a Vampirey little utopia.

So Vampires attack this town. With much gore and high pitched screeching(which I'm sure my neighbors didn't love) they slaughter the people of the town, leaving blood pools all over the snow and various building floors. Our little group of survivors hides out in an attack, which the rest of town is besieged. Then they go to a store or office of some sort, after collecting supplies from a local shop. There are a large number of vampires, in a small town, many of them in elevated vantage points(they hang out on roofs). I assume they have ears, and probably noses, but they seem to not notice whenever our protagonists move around.
7 days pass without a whimper. No food or water problems. No waste management problems, no vampires getting curious about the one building with lights on and sounds coming out. Then 18 days have passed. What? The passage of time in this movie is beyond crazy.

A large number of people sacrifice themselves to save everyone, some in very inefficient ways.
The Vampires seem to just run away when their leader is killed. And we lose our main hero as well.

Badly thought out action, and just way too far out concepts for us to swallow. Idea could have been good, but ends up just being the second worst movie I saw this weekend...

National Treasure II

National Treasure II. Yes, I know it has a real, Harry Potter ish name, but the first one was awful, and I'm expecting worse from this one.

Maybe he was good earlier in his career, but right now Nicolas Cage is NOT a good actor. He's annoying, and always looks the same. Why is he possibly the biggest movie star in the world right now? Maybe for the same reason Jerry Bruckheimer keeps getting his name attached to huge budget films. Terrible terrible big budget films.

National treasure tried hard to top the ridiculousness of the first one. They succeeded! Nicolas Cage and his father tell a story about how their great great grandfather was a national hero. Shortly followed by Ed Harris producing proof that he was a conspirator in the death of Lincoln. Gates(Cage) is torn by this information, and starts being heckled in public by people who seem to care about this news.

We now embark upon trying to find the greatest treasure map ever. Or something. I thought this crap left us with Indiana Jones(movies which were actually very well done, I hope Shia doesn't ruin that run). Our heroes break into Buckingham Palace, the White House, and then kidnap the president.

yadda yadda yadda, we find a golden city.

I can't bring myself to give more details. What a bad movie. The only positive is that I just watched 30 days of Night, and it wasn't quite as bad as this tripe.