Zack and Miri make a porno

Zack and Miri make a porno. Another movie from the goofy Judd Apatow group, though it wasn't actually written by Apatow. Pretty funny, the guy from the Office is cool, Jason Mewes is surreally funny.

Elizabeth Banks is hot, and funny, Rogan is his usual self. Kind of funny, worth watching if it's on TV. Nothing terribly original or memorable, besides Granny Panties.

Television

As many of you know, I got married somewhat recently(a little over a month ago) this was one of the factors in my blogging deficit. I am busy, I have a large backlog, frisbee is in full swing, I got married, and one other thing. Television. I have been watching a lot of television. This significantly takes away from my movie watching, but I love me programs. Why not talk about some of these?

Contender Muay Thai(CMT for short, terrible IMDB page btw)
I never got into the normal Contender series for a few reasons. Not the least of which was that amateur boxing is really boring and it sucks. Did anyone watch Olympic boxing this year in Beijing? It was boring and slow, and no one understood the point system; not the coaches, commentators, spectators, no one. CMT has a few advantages over plain old Contender shows. First, it is in Thailand, and has a quite varied international set of competitors. Second, any level of Muay Thai is exciting. They give us five full rounds, plenty of time to get some real action(TUF only gives us two). The only fight so far this season that went to decision(John Wayne vs the French idiot) was the bloodiest match of the season. Last night someone got KTFO, brutally. It wasn't like straight-arms out quivering, but he was down far after a 10 count was reached. What I like about CMT and TUF is that when you have a number of over aggressive fighters in a house, you don't have to manufacture drama.

Intervention
Yes I'm still watching this. I can't get enough of people on drugs acting stupid. Quite entertaining, though I probably don't feel the emotions they're trying to evoke. I'm actively rooting against most of them.

Daily Show/Colbert Report
Constantly making fun of McCain/Palin seems to take a bit of the sting out of the fact we're going to have a republican white house again. The wife and I are seriously talking about fulfilling my life long dream of moving to Canada. At least for a little while(four yearsish)

Project Runway
Say what you will, my wife loves it and it's mildly entertaining. I wish Tyra Banks would watch how Heidi Klum comports herself for a few episodes before continuing to act like a bigger spaz than Screech. I love watching Chelsea Handler take the piss out of Tyra every day, tho I'm leaving her show off this list.

I'm stopping here. But I am very excited for the new seasons of Knight Rider, Terminator, and the new hit Fringe.

The Grand

The Grand.
First of all, I love David Cross. He's fantastic in everything he does. Now that you know I'm objective, this movie is funny. Very funny. I've gotten a little sick of Woody Harrelson over the years, but I really liked him in the lead role. The dysfunctional misanthrope is a very good contrast to how Woody lives his life. That's three movies in a row he's good in(also No Country and Transsiberian)

A loaded, terrific cast, good pace, and surprisingly the most accurate movie poker action I've seen make a fun time. If you like goofy comedies you'll like this movie. If you like David Cross or Woody Harrelson, if you like poker movies, check this out. I don't think you'll be disappointed.

The Other Bolyn Girl

The Other Boleyn Girl. Two spicy ladies, one boring piece of European history. How can it go wrong? Bad acting, played out terribly slowly, and you have a snoozefest.

Trust me, if you can have Natalie Portman and Scarlet Johansson and not keep my interested you're doing something wrong. Skip it unless you're super bored.

Lars and the Real Girl

Lars and the Real Girl. I've wanted to see this for a long time. I've had it on DVD, just never got around to actually watching it. I was up at my cottage for about a week, and I want to watch a movie with me mum. Here we go.

Very cute, well done Indie flick. Good casting, Ryan Gosling shines as a quirky loner, and the setting really helps out the feeling of isolation. People have compared this to the Peter Sellers movie Being There(a movie as old as my baby blanket), which if you haven't seen you really need to.

Overall we both enjoyed it, and I'd highly recommend for pretty much anyone.

**
Bonus trivia fact :
The "Real Doll" was featured on "The Graham Norton Effect" (2004). The doll was given to the show and was stated as costing $6,000. She arrived in the same kind of crate that is shown in the movie. To test how real the doll looked they sat her in a bar with drink in hand, sunglasses and a speaker placed on her so they could talk to whomever came up to talk to the doll. One man was told to go into the bathroom, take off his pants and wait for her. He did.

Rush Hour 3

Rush Hour 3. Bad Bad Bad. why do I do this to myself?

Yes, I like Jackie Chan.
Yes, I like Chris Tucker.
Yes, I liked the first one. The second Rush Hour? Not so much.

I knew it would be terribe. Knew it. It was worse than that. I don't remember much more, but I don't want to. Stay away...

Wall-E

Wall-E. Cute, kid-ish looking new movie from Pixar about a robot that looks just like Johnny-5. So much so that they are making another Short Circuit movie. I kiiiiind of wanted to see it when released, and we couldn't find the DVD we were looking for so why not?

Set in the somewhat-unspecified, dystopic future, Wall-E is a small trash managing robot. Working all day to clean up the mess that absent humans have created and left. This world looks a bit like the future of I Am Legend. There is actually quite a bit of potential for scariness. Maybe that can be explored in a film not geared for a younger crowd.

I'll admit I'm a little soft, but Wall-E(the movie and the character) really grabbed me. I am woefully indifferent to travails of humans in real life and often cinema, but for some reason animals and robots get me. I seem to care about things that possibly can't take care of themselves. Wall-E has a friend cockroach, and makes a friend Eve, the interrelationships are achingly cute.

During the course of the movie, we find out what happened to humans, and why they haven't returned. We enjoy the voice-talents of Fred Willard and Jeff Garlin, and enjoy some fantastic animation. There is no speaking for about 20 minutes at the beginning, which is when Mugs fell asleep, but if you can get past that I think this is really a quality movie. I thoroughly enjoyed it and would recommend, especially for a family.

The Love Guru

The Love Guru. Universally panned, weird looking movie about a new age 'love guru' played by Mike Myers. Previews that didn't look so bad, coupled with Myers and Jessica Alba as the female lead got me interested. Why not give it a shot?

So what did I think of it? Love guru was a really, really bad movie. Not the worst I've seen in a while(it did have a few positives) but it was bad. Myers wrote this, but he must have done the writing while doing something else. Flat, poorly set up jokes delivered by actors(including Myers himself) who seem completely disinterested in the film really don't do the script any favors.

The dialogue is crude and stilted, never really engaging the audience. The plot could have been silly and funny if executed well, but instead was just stupid and poorly conceived. I think this was the worst performance I've ever seen from Myers. It was truly disappointing, and I went in with low expectations. Alba, while still being lovely, was her usual terrible-actor self, and didn't help. Verne Troyer(mini me) didn't add much as the hockey manager, and Ben Kingsley should be ashamed of himself playing the cross eyed Guru Tugginmypudha. This guy was Gandhi for goodness sake.

Not much went right here, but lets see what did.
JT. That's right, Justin Timberlake. He really delivers as the generously endowed French Canadian goalie/antagonist. He actually seems like he is interested in his performance, and doesn't take himself too seriously. I really enjoyed JT in the Love Guru. In the last few years we have seen some hilarious commentating in movies, like Fred Willard in Best in Show, Jason Bateman in Dodgeball, and now Stephen Colbert in Love Guru. Colbert is a bright spot in a cloud of badness. I didn't mind Romany Malco(who you'll recognize from 40 year old virgin), but I think it was just in comparison to the other characters.

Overall, I'd say don't see this. When it's on free TV, you should probably still avoid it. But if you're doing something else and not devoting time to it, I guess you could spare a bit of time for a joke or two.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Another Judd Apatow movie, came out around when Baby Mama did. I wasn't excited when it came out, it honestly didn't look that interesting to me. It was mildly intriguing though, and it was 'available' so I gave it a shot.

So all I had been hearing about was some prolonged 'junk' shot, of Jason Segal. Shocking! Scandalous! Well, that was sooo overblown. It was like a few short, cuts, then immediate pan aways. Like they were embarrassed to be doing it. You see more penis in one minute in a locker room. If you're going to see it or not see it for the male frontal, you need another reason, it's a non factor.

This review isn't starting out very positive, but let me change that. I really really liked FSM. It had great writing, and the cast was outstanding. While Jason Segal was about what I expected(penis included), Kristen Bell was very convincing as a controlling ice queen. As my co-worker said to me this morning, "I can't get enough of Jonah Hill". That kid could make the dictionary funny if he read it. Mila Kunis was cute and funny, a good rebound love interest. The overly religious married couple was Kenneth from 30 Rock and Tammi from Strangers with Candy. Paul Rudd delivered as the weirdo surf-hippie, and Bill Hader really sold the no-common-sense having whipped friend. I was also delighted to see Long Duck Dong briefly appearing as Kunis' boss. I think my favorite though was the British Guy, whose every utterance bordered on ridiculousness.

There is more then enough stupid humor, with a lot of intellectual barbs sprinkled throughout. I found myself laughing out loud again and again(unfortunately more than Mugs). I could watch it again, and still enjoy. Check it out, folks.

PS - actual quote from the movie :
you don't need to put your p in a v right now
no, I need to b my l on someones t's

Finding Amanda

Finding Amanda. Work gets out early. Frisbee practice right near work a couple of hours later. Might as well go to a movie right? I haven't been to the Kendall theater in a while, so I decided to check out an Indie flick. Matthew Broderick is always compelling, though he often plays despicable characters. I also like Maura Tierney, and I think I know who Britney Snow is. Lets give it a shot.

First of all, Broderick is awesome. He's funny, pitiful, degenerate. He perfectly portrays someone with a problem. Gambling/addictions abound in his life, and he needs help. Help he's not always willing to take, but he seems to know on some level that he needs it.

Maura Tierney is his long suffering wife, who keeps believing in Taylor(Broderick) long after she shouldn't. Taylor's equally troubled but gorgeous niece is played by the thank-goodness-she's-really-22 Britney Snow. Snow really seems like she's living the life she's portraying, and positively sparkles. If this isn't enough, we have a terrific little part for Steve Coogan, who steals all of the scenes he is in(and is uncredited in the movie some some strange reason). I can't get enough of his comedic genius.

The film moves, has terrific dialogue, inspired acting, and a makes-you-laugh makes-you-cry story line. Be warned that it's a bit heavy, but I would certainly recommend it to pretty much everyone.

Hot Fuzz

Hot Fuzz. Funny looking, critically acclaimed action comedy from the makers of the immensely popular Shaun of the Dead(which I have never watched, re: Zombies, afraid of - me). I've wanted to see it for a long time, but never did for some reason I can't explain. It was on HBO, I dvr'd it, so here we are.

We open on a montage of a policeman(Simon Pegg who co wrote the film), the most effective officer of the London force. He excels in all things academic and physical, and seems to always "get his man". Far from endearing him to coworkers, however, this makes him the object of resentment and jealousy. The upward chain of command is the hilarious trio of Martin Freeman, Steve Coogan, and Bill Nighy. They soon exile Sgt Angel(Pegg), sending him to a sleepy village in the country.

As I said I haven't seen Pegg's other movies, but he seems very well suited to the part. He is anal and condescending, while still being funny. Sidekick Danny(Nick Frost) quaintly seeks fellowship and approval, working his way into our affection. I'd like to see Frost in more roles. The movie moves quite well, and keeps you on your toes somewhat. The violence gets a bit over the top to be honest, but it's palatable.

Fuzz should make you laugh and cringe, and will probably make you want to see other projects from this team, like Shaun of the Dead, and Run Fatboy Run. I'd recommend, if you can handle a bit of gore. You even get the immensely powerful screen presence of Timothy Dalton, who really simmers.

Drillbit Taylor

Drillbit Taylor. Silly formula comedy starring nerdy teenagers and the inimitable Owen Wilson. I hear it is similar to My Bodyguard, which I have never seen. I like the concept, it's partially written by Seth Rogan, and I'm a fan of the Wilson brothers. And I had the DVD. So why not?

Nerdy Kids. Drillbit is centered around nerdy kids. Troy Gentile, who has a biting wit, has played a young Jack Black in two films, and plays the angry fat kid well. Nate Hartley is a good tall skinny protagonist. Then we have the notably hobbit-heighted David Dorfman, in a role quite different from his character in the Ring movies. They all do well, taken under the wing of Wilson, who always plays a nutty but loveable guy well.

Stephen Root, who I love from Newsradio(one of the most underrated shows ever) is a great clueless principal, and fringe characters are all good enough. There's some stupidity, and a lot of funny. Cheesy high school substance, and some feel good at the end. If you like stupid comedies, I think you should check it out.

PS - my favorite line from Drillbit Taylor "the guy who does your mom says get up"

All In

All In. First of all, you may know I'm a poker player. So I try to keep up on poker movies. Second of all, who doesn't love Dominique Swain? I'm also a big fan of the overly-candid Michael Madsen. So far, so good. Right? If only we stayed there.

This is a bad film. bad ... Bad ... BAD. Terrible, awful. Remarkable horrible. Physically painful. What was so bad you ask? A-HA! What a question. What elements are there in a movie? That's what is bad about it.
Casting, check
Acting, check
Music, check
Writing, check
Everything, check
The filming style felt like a terrible soap opera.

Some notes from the film :

-Doctors tell med students they're useless and dangerous in front of the patients they're about to treat
-Prestigious medical schools have small lecture rooms with armless deskless chairs and antique chalkboards
-A cabal of poker experts with inside information who are basically cheating still need terrible acting and a lucky river card to win a single hand
-Poker rooms and tournaments use generic monochromatic chips, with no logo or denomination on them
-A team of medical students including a math genius needs a wristwatch to observe the difference between 4 and 8 seconds
-All poker players do the EXACT same thing every time they bluff or have a hand. And don't realize it. And show their cards at the end of every hand.
- A 3-7 straight ALWAYS gets there. And wins.
I don't want to go on. It's putting me in a bad mood, and that's not fair to Margo. Trust me on this.

Even being a cinematic professional, I can't believe I finished. But I did. And it was for you, gentle reader. I hope you can appreciate my sacrifice. In the span of a week I get to replace the best(In Bruges) and worst(All In) movies reviewed on this site. Enjoy.

Recount

Recount. HBO tv movie about the 2000 US presidential election. When it came out I thought it was going to be some weird documentary, but it turns out it's a legit movie with real star power. It also stirred up some old anger.

I remember the 2000 election, watching the results as they came in across the country. Gaping in disbelief at the parity of the results. I honestly could NOT believe that George Bush was going to be our president. That idiot, with nothing going for him, whom no one seemed to be backing. I didn't understand what was happening. Then the whole Florida debacle. My parents lived in Florida(Dade county) at the time, but neither of them could vote at the time. Because of the election, my mother became an American citizen, for the right to vote against Bush next time.

Recount was definitely made by liberals. It shows all of the actions by Democrats and Republicans beginning on November 7th and ending on December 13th, one day after the recount was officially declared over. I got mad watching this. Really mad. I knew what had happened, and how it was going to turn out(duh) but I still got really heated. Riled up. I almost had to stop watching. While it unfortunately affected 'date night' with Mugs, I think that's a sign of a good film. It achieved its purpose quite well.

What's funny is that I'm not really a Democrat(I've voted Green party in all three presidential elections I've been old enough for). I just hate the republican platform so much it pushes me into the arms of their enemy. I was more outraged at the 2000 presidential election than when Ah-Nold was elected(I was living in CA and voted no for Davis' recall), and that's saying quite a lot.

Kevin Spacey is terrific, and I am not sure who Dennis Leary's character is supposed to be, but I hope he has a wicked heavy Boston accent. Laura Dern plays the hopeless, pathetic Katherine Harris like a pro, and all of the casting seemed effective. If you're a republican, you won't like how your party is portrayed so I'd steer clear. But if you're on the fence, or left-leaning at all, check it out. But don't leave anything breakable nearby.

In Bruges

In Bruges. The other day I was with a couple of friends, and we needed a movie to watch. Something to please the crowd, why not try a movie that not many people know about. Less objections that way. Anyways, I had In Bruges on a DVD, I wanted to watch it, it has Colin Farrell(to please the ladies), so there you go.

Let me preface with this : I do not like Colin Farrell. At all. I think he's a terrible actor(Miami Vice, Daredevil, Alexander, S.W.A.T - his IMDB page is a pretty depressing list) and the persona he presents to the public is a total A-hole. I've never been happy to see him in a movie, or even thought he did a good job. If you've read my blog before you know I also don't like Ralph Fiennes. The good news? Intriguing premise, and Brendan Gleeson was good in the latest Harry Potter movie...

We open on the charming town of Bruges, Belgium. Beautiful Gothic buildings, Venice-like canals, and an apparently thriving movie industry. Our two assassins(Farrell and Gleeson) stay in a small hotel, waiting for word from their angry, potty mouthed boss Harry(Fiennes). The scenery is great, and mostly unknown cast performs admirably. We want to know more, to keep watching them. Dialogue is meaningful and effective, and the music is always appropriate.

What's most amazing for me is Farrell. I really liked him. He was amusing, charming, even cute in glasses. His interactions with Gleeson are funny and feel natural, I genuinely enjoyed seeing him. Fiennes was also a virtual tour de force. He was strong and effective, perfectly suiting his position. I really liked this movie. Really, really liked it. It might take over my 'top movie reviewed' title. I would recommend it to pretty much everyone, I am pretty sure I'll buy it.

Semi-Pro

Semi-Pro. I love Will Ferrell. The man is hilarious. He could comedy his way out of Ft. Knox. Fuh reals. Sort of like Leatherheads, Semi-Pro is a period piece about the end of the ABA, and teams trying to get into the money filled NBA.

Ferrell plays Jackie Moon, the Owner/coach/power forward/entertainment coordinator for the Flint Tropics, a sorry franchise in the Midwest. They seem to have one good player(Andre from Outkast) and a tiny fan base. We follow Moon through all sorts of crazy promotions, and his strange shouting awkwardness. It's pretty common Ferrell, and if you're not a huge fan then you might think it's old or unoriginal.

As I said, I'm a huge WF fan, but for me the extras made the movie. Andre was funny, Woody Harrelson was well cast, Andy Richter is always funny, and we even had the always off-the-wall Rob Corddry(who Mugs loves). However funny you find it, Semi-Pro stays that funny throughout, barely changing pace.

Worth watching if it's on TV, check it out while you're doing something else and you won't be disappointed.

Iron Man

Iron Man. I'm a comic book guy. I'm a Marvel Guy. I'm a movie guy. Our big decision last night was whether to see the Hulk or Iron Man. I hate fighting opening nights, even at the crappiest movie theater I've ever been to(the one near my house) so we chose Iron Man. After purchasing our tickets and incredibly greasy buttered popcorn, we sauntered into the 50 seat room with a hole in the screen. Yep, that's the Cinema experience. Woo Hoo

I have been very hard on comic adaptations in the past, as I was an avid comic reader in my childhood. I also hold it against a movie when I think it doesn't stay true to its source, or isn't as exciting or interesting as the original. Iron Man, you've been warned.

So Robert Downey Jr., hm ... Good casting I guess. Snarky and glamorous, he has the look as well as the attitude. Terrance Howard is good in everything he does, and I've always been a fan of Gwyneth Paltrow(sadly Mugs isn't). The story is paced well, and keeps us interested throughout. Jeff Bridges is terrific as the menacing father figure(can you believe that's Lebowski?), and the main terrorist is suitably evil.

The effects are integrated perfectly, far from over the top. One of the two movies made by the brand new Marvel Studios, I am happy. I think they stuck to the story well, and are set up for a series. Not the best movie I saw this week, but I liked it.

Leatherheads

Leatherheads. An old timey movie about the fledgling beginning of professional football in the United States. George Clooney starring, Clooney directing. You can definitely tell. Clooney is certainly a talented actor, but when he directs it feels like a long exercise in showing us all brilliant he is, which is not nearly as much as he thinks he is. He's much better in movies directed by other people.

So the style is ok, a little too quippy, snap-snap-snap. Which is much much less appealing when the one liners are lame as post-1921 FDR. The football action is ridiculous, and it is probably supposed to be. John Krasinski is apparently very cute, and he was funny I guess. Rene Zellwegger
seems like a weaker version of her Roxie Hart rendition(which wasn't that great in the first place).

There were a few laughs, and some real stupidity. Honestly there isn't that much to say about Leatherheads, it was pretty unremarkable...

Before the Devil Knows You're Dead

I hope I get 30 minutes in heaven, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead. Cool title, cool bring in. Phillip Seymour-Hoffman and Marisa Tomei? I'm hooked.

We open with a much talked about sex scene between Tomei and Hoffman. Raw and realistic, this is quite a way to start a movie. It certainly gets your attention. If only Devil could keep your attention this well. The movie has legitimate star power, and fairly good writing. The plot moves, though sometimes very slowly.

We're taken down a twisted little path, witnessing the many interactions between people who all seem to be bad.

Positives?
PSH, he's one of the best actors of our time
The story is fairly interesting
Marissa Tomei looks AMAZING. And there's lots of her. Really, she's a revelation at 44.

Negatives?
It is boring at times
There's no one to root for
Ethan Hawke is really, really, really annoying. More annoying than I remember. Just insufferable.

If you like Hoffman, see it I think. It's worth watching at least.

The Raconteurs

The Raconteurs. So no movie last night, but I did do something fun. Why don't I write about it, you ask? What do you think I'm doing right now, silly. Honestly I expect more from my readers...

After work, some friends and I headed over to South Boston, had a lovely dinner at Boston Beer Garden. Buffalo Chicken was eaten, Bud Light pitchers were consumed. Then we headed over to the Bank of America Pavilion(Why don't they have their own web site? Lame as an American Gladiators loser. Why pay naming rights on a venue then not even make a web site for it? Idiots). It's a large outdoors'ish area, right on the water. The weather was perfect, the night was beautiful. We walked around a bit, people watching, looking up future BOA Pavilion events, commenting on the exorbitant concession prices($10 beer, for real).

After checking out the whole outside, and making sure the Sox were winning, we were ready to go in. Our friendly usher informed us that the double letter rows were in front, and the single letter were behind them. We were row "L" so this was bad news. But nowhere there is really that far away, so I was fine with our seats. After sitting down, we notice the whole row in front of us is college meat heads. Frat boys smoking weed and acting like idiots in general.

One of them had a notable T shirt on. The back read :

Getting kids buzzed
since 2002



781 710 9851

Let me ask you, how can I not call that number? So over the protestations of my friends, I call. Ring, ring, ring -- voicemail : "Hello, this is Irving ... " click. I figured it was a land line and gave up. A few minutes later, the kid wearing the shirt reaches in his pocket, takes out his phone. I get poked in the side
"Dude, he's gonna call you"
"He's so gonna call you"
Lo and behold, my cell phone starts ringing. Caller ID : 781 710 9851
Coolly I answer : "Hi Irving, what's up?"
"Hey man"
"How's it going?"
"Who is this?"
"Are you enjoying the concert?"
"Who the F--- is this?"
"Turn around"
"What"
"Turn around"
At which time he turned around, to see me grinning at him. I have a new friend. Apparently Irving is a barber in Melrose, and this is how he tries to drum up business. No one has ever called the number on his shirt before. Frat boys love us, I got my funny story, we're off to a good start.

The opening act, the Black Lips(who I've never heard of) was ok, they sounded kind of generic. Raconteurs were awesome. Jack White played piano first, then sang, then electric guitar, then acoustic, then back to electric. I'm a big Jack White fan, and he certainly didn't disappoint.
Good Venue, good music, good company. Fun night, I'd recommend seeing the Raconteurs if you like-a the rock and roll.