Shake on movies

My Mother's Safari, part 1

2011-12-23T09:29:00.011-05:00

My mother has decided to leave the cozy confines of Dushanbe, Tajikistan to go on a photo safari in eastern Africa. She went with no one she knows, and knowledge of no local languages. She did, however, pack her spirit of adventure.
As she emails me, I'll post her updates :
"Hi -

I'm in Windhoek(Namibia), at the Chameleon Guesthouse. Unfortunately, my dufflebag isn't. There is an incoming flight at 2 pm, and I'm hoping that it will be on it.

The guesthouse is lovely. Everyone is very friendly. When people found out that my luggage was missing, the manager drove me to a gas station to get basics - toothbrush, shampoo, etc. Apparently it is not at all safe to walk outside after dusk. Or carry a purse, backpack, or camera anytime.

A girl gave me sunblock.

I'm so glad that I'm staying here!

I'm having dinner tonight with 2 Peace Corps volunteers on holiday.

The flight here was awful in parts. Leaving Dubai, going to Addis Ababa, the plane was full of people who had come to purchase things in Dubai to sell in Nigeria, etc.

No Ethiopians, to my surprise.

Anyway, the airline tried to limit the amount of hand luggage people were carrying. So a whole group mobbed the jetway and forced their way on the plane. The first I knew of it, a security guard came flying down the passage way screaming "Close the doors!" and the flight attendants closed heavy glass doors just before the plane entry doors. With me on the wrong side! When I saw all the angry poeple approaching, for a minute I thought that I was going to be squashed against the glass. But the security agent was beside me and she was calling the police on a mobile phone and that slowed down the mob. Another agent came from inside the plane, and
they let me in.
But the departure was delayed for 1 1/2 hours while they cleared the plane of all the extra stuff people had piled on their feet, etc. The overhead bins wouldn't close, and people were fighting when flight attendants went to remove excess.
So it meant that I had 5 minutes to make my next flight. And I think that that is where my luggage went missing.
I'm going out to explore the town and buy a belt to keep my pants up ( they stretched) and a tshirt.
A birding trail walk tomorrow. What a great way to spend Christmas eve!
Love, MoM (Linny)"

Tajik travels, part I

2010-12-30T12:54:00.005-05:00

As the header says, I'm going to post a few travel posts here, just so I have them written down somewhere...
Link to pictures here : http://picasaweb.google.com/crisshaikh/Dushanbe

Trip to Tajikistan :

Planning : Buying tickets was difficult. There are limited options for flying to Tajikistan, and very few travel sights even list it as a possible destination. It was so expensive and confusing that we went through a travel agent for the first time in my life. We opted for the travel insurance. Getting Visas was a pretty easy process, except for the fact that we had to send passports through the mail to the tajik embassy. We were able to leave our dog with Margo's parents, which is terribly convenient for us, and made our lives a lot easier.
Shopping : We bought a lot of food for the trip. American snacks- beef jerky, candy, gum for the plane. Our clothes, Christmas presents for everyone. Things for family - a variety of cheeses, tahini(Trader Joe’s doesn’t sell it, who knew), green rubbing alcohol, peanut butter, pepperoni (in Tajikistan pepperoni means sliced hot dogs).
Packing : The packing process was pretty easy. We don't really own traditional luggage, so we borrowed a Patagonia bag from Margo's sister, and used one of the bags my mom had brought to the US (she used it as a large carry-on, we used it as a smalled checked bag). We managed to fit everything into those, plus our carry-ons which are Margo's backpack, my laptop bag and an adidas tote I have.

The Trip Itself :

Boston : Terminal E has a really bad food court(at the Chinese place, sweet and sour chicken was apparently the same as General Gau’s honey chicken). On the flight from Boston to Zurich, my body has some temperature regulation issues. I have hot flashes on the flight, and we don't have those air nozzles next to our overhead lights. I sweat like crazy and Margo takes care of me. The food on the flight is pretty good. Salad seems made for me: Lettuce, julienned carrots and corn, with Ranch dressing. On the place I watched Dinner for Schmucks. Amazing cast, and I laughed out loud a bunch of times. Then I started Takers. So bad I was actually glad I got sick, and stopped watching. Matt Dillon is a hard-boiled detective? Really??

Zurich : After deplaning, there is a confusing, winding path to the tram. We get out, go towards our new gate, come out under some stairs into another security line. Emerge into anarchy. Our gate is next to the Smokers lounge. In the bathroom, which is in a poorly labeled box-like structure, there’s a fly painted inside the urinal. Apparently men pee better if there's something to aim at. I wanted to take a picture, but there were too many people in there to get a chance. We are in a tiny, disorganized waiting area. No PA, just a woman saying they’re ready to take people to Istanbul. They check our tickets, and we crowd into a small fenced in area waiting for a bus. Bus takes us to the tarmac, where we climb a metal staircase to the plane. What would this be like for someone in a wheelchair? Snacks are served, Margo and I decline. This is the shortest flight, we sleep through most of it.

Istanbul: huuuge airport. Well marked, well lit, signs and monitors everywhere. The air quality is poor, and they have the largest duty free shop I’ve ever seen. People here are friendly, most seem to speak at least English. I get a Turkish techno CD with American money(they asked to see my boarding pass for this), Margo gets Starbucks. There are optional bidets in the bathrooms. Next to our gate is an Aquamassage stand, we don't partake, which I think was the wrong decision. Waiting area is disorganized, and has another security line. People just decide to start going through it, so we do too. Now we’re in another waiting area. No announcement has been made. We are also late. One old man is asked to start boarding, the rush begins. We make it on the plane, overhead room is all taken. Isn’t it always. People here have 3, 4, 5 carry-on bags. No one is sitting in their own seats. This is the wild west, folks. People here all seem to know each other. Everyone stares at you when you walk down the aisle, like you're purposely interrupting their conversation. God forbid you need the lavatory on a 5 hour flight. Food is very good, we both get the pasta(over the chicken), it has a spicy tomato sauce, and good hot bread. On the flight we watch The Social Network together, one ear each of my Bose headphones. Mediocre movie, not enough JT, and the movie made me dislike facebook more (if that's possible). Meal was before the movie, snack after. They’re timing the food on the place based on my laptop usage.

Land in Dushanbe :
We get dropped off in the middle of a tarmac, where we get on a bus, hoping it’s the right one. One the bus we are found by our expediter, Wally (not short for anything, just Wally). We are expecting someone else (a man named Olim), but we’re happy to be found. After us, he finds his other charges, and collects us as we are dropped off at the ‘airport’. We fill out some forms, and hand them and our passports to Wally. Each immigration line has about 20 people waiting. Wally chooses the closest one, and ignores it – walking past the line, opening the little booth and handing our info to the officer. We walk over to the baggage claim area (about 10 feet away) with a Dutch man named Raul, and a couple of Tajiks. I am a little nervous about leaving our passports with someone else, when we don’t know what is going on, but I trust things will work out. After about 20 minutes we get our passports and papers back, and start waiting for luggage in earnest. After about another 20 minutes, our luggage finally comes in, on two different carousels at once. It’s hard to describe this area, but there are no signs, monitors, or anything to indicate where to go, or which luggage is coming where. I would have taken pictures, but didn’t want to risk getting in trouble without a fluent English speaker present (Wally’s is pretty thin)

Dushanbe : It’s now about 5am. We have our bags, our papers, and are ready to meet Kevin (my brother-in-law) outside. Wally takes us to the head of another line, and we go to the door. As far as I can tell, this is the only door exiting the airport, it’s a wooden door about 3 feet wide. Leaving this door, you are greeted with a seething mass of humanity. Beggars, people selling goods, taxi drivers, other professions I can’t identify. Their droning offers and entreaties blend together so it feels like being in a zombie movie: this is your shuffling mass. We push through without buying or giving anything to anyone, and confidently refuse all Taxis as we have a ride waiting for us. Behind the initial crush of people is Kevin. Our drive home is a quick and tired one.

Doubt

2009-08-18T09:49:00.005-04:00

Doubt. This movie has had some buzz for a while. It was nominated for academy awards before it even came out, has a strong cast, and no one seemed to know anything about it. Then it kind of went away. I had a chance to watch it, and most of my alternatives were horror movies so I went with it.

Priests. Nuns, catholic school. Strictness, religious services. I see. Meryl Streep is convincingly scary, Amy Adams is adorable and naive. Philip Seymour-Hoffman is ... well ... weird? I'm a big fan of PS-H. His range constantly impresses me. But he's weird in Doubt. I don't think it's just how his character is supposed to be, I think it's a bad role for him. The children were pretty unremarkable, as I guess they were supposed to be. There was a brief, slightly stirring scene involving Viola Davis, and I always like to see Ray Finkle's mother getting work.

Overall, the movie didn't really stand out to me. It was pretty boring, and took me a while to finish as I kept falling asleep. I'd say stay away unless you have a specific reason to watch it.

Sex and the City

2009-08-14T15:43:00.006-04:00

Sex AND the City. I always call it Sex in the city. That's basically what it is. The loving wife recently watched this clunker while I was at work. Since I'll never watch it, I asked her to review it. Here we go :

"I recently watched 'Sex and the City: The Movie,' long after it's release for two reasons: 1) I was alone at home and 2) it was free on HBO. The alone part is necessary because my husband makes rude noises during the show(and most of the time for that matter - but it's worse during the show). The free part is because I am both cheap when it comes to movies and unemployed.

I give this movie a check-minus-minus. The writing was awful, the plot was boring, the characters seemed less interesting than in the series, and overall it was soul-less. Although I didn't think the TV series was extraordinarily relevant or compelling, at least it entertained me for a full hour. The movie was over 2 hours and didn't hold my attention for half of that.

Picture it: Manhattan, 2008. The movie begins by showing highlights of the sexual exploits of Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte's lives and the fairytale romantic ending each found at the close of the cable series in 2004.

That's where it stopped being interesting. The writing had the depth and color of a script penned by frat boys asked to write about four women. Only their research material was limited to daytime's The View, O Magazine, and Harlequin romance novels. The movie had one non-white character who said sassy things like "Love is The Thing," and a montage of the ladies drinking and playing dress-up. Even the fashion, a highlight of the TV series, was boring in that the 4 fashionistas appeared to wear the same clothes as in 2004.

Skip "SATC: The Movie", even if it's free and you have no job."

Well done mugs :)

Babylon A.D.

2009-08-13T20:21:00.007-04:00

Babylon A.D. Vin Diesel action movie... Quelle Surpise! It's set in a weird future, and has
Michelle Yoeh, lets hop right in.Vin is a badass, I get it. Rza can write music, I get it. Russia is in a bad place right now, I get it. Uh oh, Margo reluctantly agreed to watch this movie, and it's boring after 3 minutes. After the third awful edit, leaving us both wondering if they left out a scene or two, my lovely wife decided to 'rest her eyes'.
At least it's not all bad Vin Diesel. For about 10-15 minutes it feels like a bad Jason Statham movie. Congratulations. This movie isn't worth truly explaining, it's not even worth fixing the screwy formatting in this post. Just avoid B.A.D(see what I did there?)
zzzz
What? Just writing about the movie put me to sleep. Sorry for the drool...

Tropic Thunder

2009-08-12T20:48:00.005-04:00

Tropic Thunder. It looks funny, people liked it, great cast. How can it go wrong? I just watched it for the second time, and it didn't. It went right.
We start off with a few fake previews, a la Grindhouse, which well done. Then we get into the meat. Big stars are getting together to make a movie. sounds plausible, and it's what's really happening.
So what's good about TT? Jack Black is hilarious. I guess if you don't like Jack Black shtick, you might not be amused, but he cracks me up every time. Run around in your underwear, throw out non sequiturs, you had me at hello. Robert Downey Jr, terrific. You'll need a few viewings to actually listen to everything he spouts, and you'll be chuckling about it after. His character is outrageous, and unique IMO.
Steve Coogan isn't around for too long, but I love to see him. I wish he was my upstairs neighbor. If you haven't heard of Alan Partridge, you need to check him out. Soon, please. Danny McBride reprises his character(the inimitable Kenny Powers) from Eastbound & Down, who is kick ass and over the top.
What's not great about this movie? Well, you can tell Ben Stiller directed it. You can tell because he has himself do things that you might not otherwise cast a terribly terribly physically awkward person to do. Every time I see him run I want to slap him. Hard. Finally, Tom Cruise. Or rather the reaction to Tom Cruise. I actually really like poor Tommy. He was born in my home town, and I'm still behind him. But saying he was the best part of the movie is just ridiculous. And anyone who says they didn't know Les was TC, you're an idiot. Seriously. I'm done(don't get me started on the Jewface controversy). Watch it.

Eagle Eye

2009-05-23T01:02:00.005-04:00

Eagle Eye. I've been on an action movie kick lately, and, well, this is an action movie. What do I know about it going in? It has Shia LeBeouf... And the title sounds like a singer's name. Shia was good in Even Stevens. He was terrible in a few other movies, and tolerable in Transformers. But for some reason people like him. And I don't mind him, or the fact that he always plays the put-upon good guy who doesn't know why this is happening to him. Oh well...
Eagle Eye turns out to be a terrorist espionage film. Not a lot of surprises, but the film certainly keeps us moving. I was excited to see Michael Chiklis being his hardass self(un commish like) and I'm always happy to see Michelle Monaghan. If you like her(as I do) you have to watch Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, it(her role) might blow your mind. Rosario Dawson (working with Shia for a second time - see terrible movie link above)is adequate as an Air Force investigator, she's obviously working hard to not be pigeonholed.
Despite a silly plot, the movie flows well, and you never get bored. I'm a big Billy Bob fan, and he doesn't disappoint. If you're sitting around, thirsting for an action movie, give it a shot.

Zack and Miri make a porno

2008-12-20T10:44:00.002-05:00

Zack and Miri make a porno. Another movie from the goofy Judd Apatow group, though it wasn't actually written by Apatow. Pretty funny, the guy from the Office is cool, Jason Mewes is surreally funny.

Elizabeth Banks is hot, and funny, Rogan is his usual self. Kind of funny, worth watching if it's on TV. Nothing terribly original or memorable, besides Granny Panties.

Television

2008-09-19T13:39:00.005-04:00

As many of you know, I got married somewhat recently(a little over a month ago) this was one of the factors in my blogging deficit. I am busy, I have a large backlog, frisbee is in full swing, I got married, and one other thing. Television. I have been watching a lot of television. This significantly takes away from my movie watching, but I love me programs. Why not talk about some of these?

Contender Muay Thai(CMT for short, terrible IMDB page btw)
I never got into the normal Contender series for a few reasons. Not the least of which was that amateur boxing is really boring and it sucks. Did anyone watch Olympic boxing this year in Beijing? It was boring and slow, and no one understood the point system; not the coaches, commentators, spectators, no one. CMT has a few advantages over plain old Contender shows. First, it is in Thailand, and has a quite varied international set of competitors. Second, any level of Muay Thai is exciting. They give us five full rounds, plenty of time to get some real action(TUF only gives us two). The only fight so far this season that went to decision(John Wayne vs the French idiot) was the bloodiest match of the season. Last night someone got KTFO, brutally. It wasn't like straight-arms out quivering, but he was down far after a 10 count was reached. What I like about CMT and TUF is that when you have a number of over aggressive fighters in a house, you don't have to manufacture drama.

Intervention
Yes I'm still watching this. I can't get enough of people on drugs acting stupid. Quite entertaining, though I probably don't feel the emotions they're trying to evoke. I'm actively rooting against most of them.

Daily Show/Colbert Report
Constantly making fun of McCain/Palin seems to take a bit of the sting out of the fact we're going to have a republican white house again. The wife and I are seriously talking about fulfilling my life long dream of moving to Canada. At least for a little while(four yearsish)

Project Runway
Say what you will, my wife loves it and it's mildly entertaining. I wish Tyra Banks would watch how Heidi Klum comports herself for a few episodes before continuing to act like a bigger spaz than Screech. I love watching Chelsea Handler take the piss out of Tyra every day, tho I'm leaving her show off this list.

I'm stopping here. But I am very excited for the new seasons of Knight Rider, Terminator, and the new hit Fringe.

The Grand

2008-08-17T20:24:00.001-04:00

The Grand. First of all, I love David Cross. He's fantastic in everything he does. Now that you know I'm objective, this movie is funny. Very funny. I've gotten a little sick of Woody Harrelson over the years, but I really liked him in the lead role. The dysfunctional misanthrope is a very good contrast to how Woody lives his life. That's three movies in a row he's good in(also No Country and Transsiberian)

A loaded, terrific cast, good pace, and surprisingly the most accurate movie poker action I've seen make a fun time. If you like goofy comedies you'll like this movie. If you like David Cross or Woody Harrelson, if you like poker movies, check this out. I don't think you'll be disappointed.

The Other Bolyn Girl

2008-08-11T00:11:00.003-04:00

The Other Boleyn Girl. Two spicy ladies, one boring piece of European history. How can it go wrong? Bad acting, played out terribly slowly, and you have a snoozefest.

Trust me, if you can have Natalie Portman and Scarlet Johansson and not keep my interested you're doing something wrong. Skip it unless you're super bored.

Lars and the Real Girl

2008-08-04T23:08:00.002-04:00

Lars and the Real Girl. I've wanted to see this for a long time. I've had it on DVD, just never got around to actually watching it. I was up at my cottage for about a week, and I want to watch a movie with me mum. Here we go.

Very cute, well done Indie flick. Good casting, Ryan Gosling shines as a quirky loner, and the setting really helps out the feeling of isolation. People have compared this to the Peter Sellers movie Being There(a movie as old as my baby blanket), which if you haven't seen you really need to.

Overall we both enjoyed it, and I'd highly recommend for pretty much anyone.

**
Bonus trivia fact :
The "Real Doll" was featured on "The Graham Norton Effect" (2004). The doll was given to the show and was stated as costing $6,000. She arrived in the same kind of crate that is shown in the movie. To test how real the doll looked they sat her in a bar with drink in hand, sunglasses and a speaker placed on her so they could talk to whomever came up to talk to the doll. One man was told to go into the bathroom, take off his pants and wait for her. He did.

Rush Hour 3

2008-07-28T23:57:00.002-04:00

Rush Hour 3. Bad Bad Bad. why do I do this to myself?

Yes, I like Jackie Chan.
Yes, I like Chris Tucker.
Yes, I liked the first one. The second Rush Hour? Not so much.

I knew it would be terribe. Knew it. It was worse than that. I don't remember much more, but I don't want to. Stay away...

Wall-E

2008-07-13T00:16:00.002-04:00

Wall-E. Cute, kid-ish looking new movie from Pixar about a robot that looks just like Johnny-5. So much so that they are making another Short Circuit movie. I kiiiiind of wanted to see it when released, and we couldn't find the DVD we were looking for so why not?

Set in the somewhat-unspecified, dystopic future, Wall-E is a small trash managing robot. Working all day to clean up the mess that absent humans have created and left. This world looks a bit like the future of I Am Legend. There is actually quite a bit of potential for scariness. Maybe that can be explored in a film not geared for a younger crowd.

I'll admit I'm a little soft, but Wall-E(the movie and the character) really grabbed me. I am woefully indifferent to travails of humans in real life and often cinema, but for some reason animals and robots get me. I seem to care about things that possibly can't take care of themselves. Wall-E has a friend cockroach, and makes a friend Eve, the interrelationships are achingly cute.

During the course of the movie, we find out what happened to humans, and why they haven't returned. We enjoy the voice-talents of Fred Willard and Jeff Garlin, and enjoy some fantastic animation. There is no speaking for about 20 minutes at the beginning, which is when Mugs fell asleep, but if you can get past that I think this is really a quality movie. I thoroughly enjoyed it and would recommend, especially for a family.

The Love Guru

2008-07-12T19:32:00.005-04:00

The Love Guru. Universally panned, weird looking movie about a new age 'love guru' played by Mike Myers. Previews that didn't look so bad, coupled with Myers and Jessica Alba as the female lead got me interested. Why not give it a shot?

So what did I think of it? Love guru was a really, really bad movie. Not the worst I've seen in a while(it did have a few positives) but it was bad. Myers wrote this, but he must have done the writing while doing something else. Flat, poorly set up jokes delivered by actors(including Myers himself) who seem completely disinterested in the film really don't do the script any favors.

The dialogue is crude and stilted, never really engaging the audience. The plot could have been silly and funny if executed well, but instead was just stupid and poorly conceived. I think this was the worst performance I've ever seen from Myers. It was truly disappointing, and I went in with low expectations. Alba, while still being lovely, was her usual terrible-actor self, and didn't help. Verne Troyer(mini me) didn't add much as the hockey manager, and Ben Kingsley should be ashamed of himself playing the cross eyed Guru Tugginmypudha. This guy was Gandhi for goodness sake.

Not much went right here, but lets see what did.
JT. That's right, Justin Timberlake. He really delivers as the generously endowed French Canadian goalie/antagonist. He actually seems like he is interested in his performance, and doesn't take himself too seriously. I really enjoyed JT in the Love Guru. In the last few years we have seen some hilarious commentating in movies, like Fred Willard in Best in Show, Jason Bateman in Dodgeball, and now Stephen Colbert in Love Guru. Colbert is a bright spot in a cloud of badness. I didn't mind Romany Malco(who you'll recognize from 40 year old virgin), but I think it was just in comparison to the other characters.

Overall, I'd say don't see this. When it's on free TV, you should probably still avoid it. But if you're doing something else and not devoting time to it, I guess you could spare a bit of time for a joke or two.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

2008-07-09T19:01:00.003-04:00

Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Another Judd Apatow movie, came out around when Baby Mam a did. I wasn't excited when it came out, it honestly didn't look that interesting to me. It was mildly intriguing though, and it was 'available' so I gave it a shot.

So all I had been hearing about was some prolonged 'junk' shot, of Jason Segal. Shocking! Scandalous! Well, that was sooo overblown. It was like a few short, cuts, then immediate pan aways. Like they were embarrassed to be doing it. You see more penis in one minute in a locker room. If you're going to see it or not see it for the male frontal, you need another reason, it's a non factor.

This review isn't starting out very positive, but let me change that. I really really liked FSM. It had great writing, and the cast was outstanding. While Jason Segal was about what I expected(penis included), Kristen Bell was very convincing as a controlling ice queen. As my co-worker said to me this morning, "I can't get enough of Jonah Hill". That kid could make the dictionary funny if he read it. Mila Kunis was cute and funny, a good rebound love interest. The overly religious married couple was Kenneth from 30 Rock and Tammi from Strangers with Candy. Paul Rudd delivered as the weirdo surf-hippie, and Bill Hader really sold the no-common-sense having whipped friend. I was also delighted to see Long Duck Dong briefly appearing as Kunis' boss. I think my favorite though was the British Guy, whose every utterance bordered on ridiculousness.

There is more then enough stupid humor, with a lot of intellectual barbs sprinkled throughout. I found myself laughing out loud again and again(unfortunately more than Mugs). I could watch it again, and still enjoy. Check it out, folks.

PS - actual quote from the movie :
you don't need to put your p in a v right now
no, I need to b my l on someones t's

Finding Amanda

2008-07-03T22:39:00.002-04:00

Finding Amanda. Work gets out early. Frisbee practice right near work a couple of hours later. Might as well go to a movie right? I haven't been to the Kendall theater in a while, so I decided to check out an Indie flick. Matthew Broderick is always compelling, though he often plays despicable characters. I also like Maura Tierney, and I think I know who Britney Snow is. Lets give it a shot.

First of all, Broderick is awesome. He's funny, pitiful, degenerate. He perfectly portrays someone with a problem. Gambling/addictions abound in his life, and he needs help. Help he's not always willing to take, but he seems to know on some level that he needs it.

Maura Tierney is his long suffering wife, who keeps believing in Taylor(Broderick) long after she shouldn't. Taylor's equally troubled but gorgeous niece is played by the thank-goodness-she's-really-22 Britney Snow. Snow really seems like she's living the life she's portraying, and positively sparkles. If this isn't enough, we have a terrific little part for Steve Coogan, who steals all of the scenes he is in(and is uncredited in the movie some some strange reason). I can't get enough of his comedic genius.

The film moves, has terrific dialogue, inspired acting, and a makes-you-laugh makes-you-cry story line. Be warned that it's a bit heavy, but I would certainly recommend it to pretty much everyone.

Hot Fuzz

2008-06-27T20:29:00.006-04:00

Hot Fuzz. Funny looking, critically acclaimed action comedy from the makers of the immensely popular Shaun of the Dead(which I have never watched, re: Zombies, afraid of - me). I've wanted to see it for a long time, but never did for some reason I can't explain. It was on HBO, I dvr'd it, so here we are.

We open on a montage of a policeman(Simon Pegg who co wrote the film), the most effective officer of the London force. He excels in all things academic and physical, and seems to always "get his man". Far from endearing him to coworkers, however, this makes him the object of resentment and jealousy. The upward chain of command is the hilarious trio of Martin Freeman, Steve Coogan, and Bill Nighy. They soon exile Sgt Angel(Pegg), sending him to a sleepy village in the country.

As I said I haven't seen Pegg's other movies, but he seems very well suited to the part. He is anal and condescending, while still being funny. Sidekick Danny(Nick Frost) quaintly seeks fellowship and approval, working his way into our affection. I'd like to see Frost in more roles. The movie moves quite well, and keeps you on your toes somewhat. The violence gets a bit over the top to be honest, but it's palatable.

Fuzz should make you laugh and cringe, and will probably make you want to see other projects from this team, like Shaun of the Dead, and Run Fatboy Run. I'd recommend, if you can handle a bit of gore. You even get the immensely powerful screen presence of Timothy Dalton, who really simmers.

Drillbit Taylor

2008-06-25T00:06:00.004-04:00

Drillbit Taylor. Silly formula comedy starring nerdy teenagers and the inimitable Owen Wilson. I hear it is similar to My Bodyguard, which I have never seen. I like the concept, it's partially written by Seth Rogan, and I'm a fan of the Wilson brothers. And I had the DVD. So why not?

Nerdy Kids. Drillbit is centered around nerdy kids. Troy Gentile, who has a biting wit, has played a young Jack Black in two films, and plays the angry fat kid well. Nate Hartley is a good tall skinny protagonist. Then we have the notably hobbit-heighted David Dorfman, in a role quite different from his character in the Ring movies. They all do well, taken under the wing of Wilson, who always plays a nutty but loveable guy well.

Stephen Root, who I love from Newsradio(one of the most underrated shows ever) is a great clueless principal, and fringe characters are all good enough. There's some stupidity, and a lot of funny. Cheesy high school substance, and some feel good at the end. If you like stupid comedies, I think you should check it out.

PS - my favorite line from Drillbit Taylor "the guy who does your mom says get up"

All In

2008-06-22T10:39:00.008-04:00

All In. First of all, you may know I'm a poker player. So I try to keep up on poker movies. Second of all, who doesn't love Dominique Swain? I'm also a big fan of the overly-candid Michael Madsen. So far, so good. Right? If only we stayed there.

This is a bad film. bad ... Bad ... BAD. Terrible, awful. Remarkable horrible. Physically painful. What was so bad you ask? A-HA! What a question. What elements are there in a movie? That's what is bad about it.
Casting, check
Acting, check
Music, check
Writing, check
Everything, check
The filming style felt like a terrible soap opera.

Some notes from the film :

-Doctors tell med students they're useless and dangerous in front of the patients they're about to treat
-Prestigious medical schools have small lecture rooms with armless deskless chairs and antique chalkboards
-A cabal of poker experts with inside information who are basically cheating still need terrible acting and a lucky river card to win a single hand
-Poker rooms and tournaments use generic monochromatic chips, with no logo or denomination on them
-A team of medical students including a math genius needs a wristwatch to observe the difference between 4 and 8 seconds
-All poker players do the EXACT same thing every time they bluff or have a hand. And don't realize it. And show their cards at the end of every hand.
- A 3-7 straight ALWAYS gets there. And wins.
I don't want to go on. It's putting me in a bad mood, and that's not fair to Margo. Trust me on this.

Even being a cinematic professional, I can't believe I finished. But I did. And it was for you, gentle reader. I hope you can appreciate my sacrifice. In the span of a week I get to replace the best(In Bruges) and worst(All In) movies reviewed on this site. Enjoy.

Recount

2008-06-18T21:14:00.003-04:00

Recount. HBO tv movie about the 2000 US presidential election. When it came out I thought it was going to be some weird documentary, but it turns out it's a legit movie with real star power. It also stirred up some old anger.

I remember the 2000 election, watching the results as they came in across the country. Gaping in disbelief at the parity of the results. I honestly could NOT believe that George Bush was going to be our president. That idiot, with nothing going for him, whom no one seemed to be backing. I didn't understand what was happening. Then the whole Florida debacle. My parents lived in Florida(Dade county) at the time, but neither of them could vote at the time. Because of the election, my mother became an American citizen, for the right to vote against Bush next time.

Recount was definitely made by liberals. It shows all of the actions by Democrats and Republicans beginning on November 7th and ending on December 13th, one day after the recount was officially declared over. I got mad watching this. Really mad. I knew what had happened, and how it was going to turn out(duh) but I still got really heated. Riled up. I almost had to stop watching. While it unfortunately affected 'date night' with Mugs, I think that's a sign of a good film. It achieved its purpose quite well.

What's funny is that I'm not really a Democrat(I've voted Green party in all three presidential elections I've been old enough for). I just hate the republican platform so much it pushes me into the arms of their enemy. I was more outraged at the 2000 presidential election than when Ah-Nold was elected(I was living in CA and voted no for Davis' recall), and that's saying quite a lot.

Kevin Spacey is terrific, and I am not sure who Dennis Leary's character is supposed to be, but I hope he has a wicked heavy Boston accent. Laura Dern plays the hopeless, pathetic Katherine Harris like a pro, and all of the casting seemed effective. If you're a republican, you won't like how your party is portrayed so I'd steer clear. But if you're on the fence, or left-leaning at all, check it out. But don't leave anything breakable nearby.

In Bruges

2008-06-16T01:04:00.009-04:00

In Bruges. The other day I was with a couple of friends, and we needed a movie to watch. Something to please the crowd, why not try a movie that not many people know about. Less objections that way. Anyways, I had In Bruges on a DVD, I wanted to watch it, it has Colin Farrell(to please the ladies), so there you go.

Let me preface with this : I do not like Colin Farrell. At all. I think he's a terrible actor(Miami Vice, Daredevil, Alexander, S.W.A.T - his IMDB page is a pretty depressing list) and the persona he presents to the public is a total A-hole. I've never been happy to see him in a movie, or even thought he did a good job. If you've read my blog before you know I also don't like Ralph Fiennes. The good news? Intriguing premise, and Brendan Gleeson was good in the latest Harry Potter movie...

We open on the charming town of Bruges, Belgium. Beautiful Gothic buildings, Venice-like canals, and an apparently thriving movie industry. Our two assassins(Farrell and Gleeson) stay in a small hotel, waiting for word from their angry, potty mouthed boss Harry(Fiennes). The scenery is great, and mostly unknown cast performs admirably. We want to know more, to keep watching them. Dialogue is meaningful and effective, and the music is always appropriate.

What's most amazing for me is Farrell. I really liked him. He was amusing, charming, even cute in glasses. His interactions with Gleeson are funny and feel natural, I genuinely enjoyed seeing him. Fiennes was also a virtual tour de force. He was strong and effective, perfectly suiting his position. I really liked this movie. Really, really liked it. It might take over my 'top movie reviewed' title. I would recommend it to pretty much everyone, I am pretty sure I'll buy it.

Semi-Pro

2008-06-16T01:04:00.006-04:00

Semi-Pro. I love Will Ferrell. The man is hilarious. He could comedy his way out of Ft. Knox. Fuh reals. Sort of like Leatherheads, Semi-Pro is a period piece about the end of the ABA, and teams trying to get into the money filled NBA.

Ferrell plays Jackie Moon, the Owner/coach/power forward/entertainment coordinator for the Flint Tropics, a sorry franchise in the Midwest. They seem to have one good player(Andre from Outkast) and a tiny fan base. We follow Moon through all sorts of crazy promotions, and his strange shouting awkwardness. It's pretty common Ferrell, and if you're not a huge fan then you might think it's old or unoriginal.

As I said, I'm a huge WF fan, but for me the extras made the movie. Andre was funny, Woody Harrelson was well cast, Andy Richter is always funny, and we even had the always off-the-wall Rob Corddry(who Mugs loves). However funny you find it, Semi-Pro stays that funny throughout, barely changing pace.

Worth watching if it's on TV, check it out while you're doing something else and you won't be disappointed.

Iron Man

2008-06-14T22:34:00.004-04:00

Iron Man. I'm a comic book guy. I'm a Marvel Guy. I'm a movie guy. Our big decision last night was whether to see the Hulk or Iron Man. I hate fighting opening nights, even at the crappiest movie theater I've ever been to(the one near my house) so we chose Iron Man. After purchasing our tickets and incredibly greasy buttered popcorn, we sauntered into the 50 seat room with a hole in the screen. Yep, that's the Cinema experience. Woo Hoo

I have been very hard on comic adaptations in the past, as I was an avid comic reader in my childhood. I also hold it against a movie when I think it doesn't stay true to its source, or isn't as exciting or interesting as the original. Iron Man, you've been warned.

So Robert Downey Jr., hm ... Good casting I guess. Snarky and glamorous, he has the look as well as the attitude. Terrance Howard is good in everything he does, and I've always been a fan of Gwyneth Paltrow(sadly Mugs isn't). The story is paced well, and keeps us interested throughout. Jeff Bridges is terrific as the menacing father figure(can you believe that's Lebowski?), and the main terrorist is suitably evil.

The effects are integrated perfectly, far from over the top. One of the two movies made by the brand new Marvel Studios, I am happy. I think they stuck to the story well, and are set up for a series. Not the best movie I saw this week, but I liked it.

Leatherheads

2008-06-11T17:50:00.003-04:00

Leatherheads. An old timey movie about the fledgling beginning of professional football in the United States. George Clooney starring, Clooney directing. You can definitely tell. Clooney is certainly a talented actor, but when he directs it feels like a long exercise in showing us all brilliant he is, which is not nearly as much as he thinks he is. He's much better in movies directed by other people.

So the style is ok, a little too quippy, snap-snap-snap. Which is much much less appealing when the one liners are lame as post-1921 FDR. The football action is ridiculous, and it is probably supposed to be. John Krasinski is apparently very cute, and he was funny I guess. Rene Zellwegger
seems like a weaker version of her Roxie Hart rendition(which wasn't that great in the first place).

There were a few laughs, and some real stupidity. Honestly there isn't that much to say about Leatherheads, it was pretty unremarkable...

Before the Devil Knows You're Dead

2008-06-10T16:21:00.002-04:00

I hope I get 30 minutes in heaven, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead. Cool title, cool bring in. Phillip Seymour-Hoffman and Marisa Tomei? I'm hooked.

We open with a much talked about sex scene between Tomei and Hoffman. Raw and realistic, this is quite a way to start a movie. It certainly gets your attention. If only Devil could keep your attention this well. The movie has legitimate star power, and fairly good writing. The plot moves, though sometimes very slowly.

We're taken down a twisted little path, witnessing the many interactions between people who all seem to be bad.

Positives?
PSH, he's one of the best actors of our time
The story is fairly interesting
Marissa Tomei looks AMAZING. And there's lots of her. Really, she's a revelation at 44.

Negatives?
It is boring at times
There's no one to root for
Ethan Hawke is really, really, really annoying. More annoying than I remember. Just insufferable.

If you like Hoffman, see it I think. It's worth watching at least.

The Raconteurs

2008-06-03T23:48:00.004-04:00

The Raconteurs. So no movie last night, but I did do something fun. Why don't I write about it, you ask? What do you think I'm doing right now, silly. Honestly I expect more from my readers...

After work, some friends and I headed over to South Boston, had a lovely dinner at Boston Beer Garden. Buffalo Chicken was eaten, Bud Light pitchers were consumed. Then we headed over to the Bank of America Pavilion(Why don't they have their own web site? Lame as an American Gladiators loser. Why pay naming rights on a venue then not even make a web site for it? Idiots). It's a large outdoors'ish area, right on the water. The weather was perfect, the night was beautiful. We walked around a bit, people watching, looking up future BOA Pavilion events, commenting on the exorbitant concession prices($10 beer, for real).

After checking out the whole outside, and making sure the Sox were winning, we were ready to go in. Our friendly usher informed us that the double letter rows were in front, and the single letter were behind them. We were row "L" so this was bad news. But nowhere there is really that far away, so I was fine with our seats. After sitting down, we notice the whole row in front of us is college meat heads. Frat boys smoking weed and acting like idiots in general.

One of them had a notable T shirt on. The back read :

Getting kids buzzed
since 2002

781 710 9851

Let me ask you, how can I not call that number? So over the protestations of my friends, I call. Ring, ring, ring -- voicemail : "Hello, this is Irving ... " click. I figured it was a land line and gave up. A few minutes later, the kid wearing the shirt reaches in his pocket, takes out his phone. I get poked in the side
"Dude, he's gonna call you"
"He's so gonna call you"
Lo and behold, my cell phone starts ringing. Caller ID : 781 710 9851
Coolly I answer : "Hi Irving, what's up?"
"Hey man"
"How's it going?"
"Who is this?"
"Are you enjoying the concert?"
"Who the F--- is this?"
"Turn around"
"What"
"Turn around"
At which time he turned around, to see me grinning at him. I have a new friend. Apparently Irving is a barber in Melrose, and this is how he tries to drum up business. No one has ever called the number on his shirt before. Frat boys love us, I got my funny story, we're off to a good start.

The opening act, the Black Lips(who I've never heard of) was ok, they sounded kind of generic. Raconteurs were awesome. Jack White played piano first, then sang, then electric guitar, then acoustic, then back to electric. I'm a big Jack White fan, and he certainly didn't disappoint.
Good Venue, good music, good company. Fun night, I'd recommend seeing the Raconteurs if you like-a the rock and roll.

American Dreamz

2008-05-29T14:00:00.004-04:00

American Dreamz. As has been the theme lately, I'm home and available(between phone calls) and I have HBO. American Dreamz was on today and it looked less than terrible. Not much less, I really wasn't expecting much here, but as you know that's never stopped me before.

Dreamz is a movie that begins as a parody of American Idol, following the premise of a talent search reality-type show, following a few characters including the British host, and the travails of the American President who is struggling to improve his public image.

Little do you know, but I'm actually a sucker for Hugh Grant films. I kind of like the whole blink-awkward-blink, stutter, awkward-blink-awkward routine. I haven't liked all of his movies(Music and Lyrics) but others surprisingly weren't so bad(About a Boy). Mandy Moore is surprisingly unattractive, but also surprisingly perfect for the part. Sam Golzari's big eyes and open face also fit his character quite well.

The movie flows well, and most of the casting is pretty good. Willem DaFoe is in a new part for him, and nothing is too over the top silly for me. If you come in with low expectations, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised, as I was.

Lucky You

2008-05-28T15:55:00.003-04:00

Lucky You. So last night I was waiting for the Sox game to start, and checking out all of the HBO channels. Mugs wasn't home and my dad was snoozing, so I watched the worst movie on TV at the moment. Lucky You. Two things you should know about me :

I hate Eric Bana with a passion.
I am a very good, and very experienced poker player.

I thought one would be a plus, one a minus for watching this horrible horrible movie. Nope, they're both negatives. Eric Bana is terrible, annoying, lisping, stupid, and lifeless. Drew Barrymore is useless(here) and Robert Duvall is completely wasted in his role. But that's not the worst. The poker action in LY is ridiculous. They went through the trouble of using a real poker room, and including all sorts of real life poker professionals. Then what do they do? Make it stupid, unrealistic, annoying and predictable. Whoever wrote this putrescence has obviously never played poker in their life. I would imaging they can't even spell poker. Drew Barrymore's character in the movie knows more about poker than whoever penned this. Seriously, it's more than I can handle, a day later.

Enough bad things. You already know I don't recommend it. Surprisingly there were a couple of good things. Debra Messing isn't terrible(yes that's a positive). Also, I liked how degenerate and obviously out of control Huck(Bana) was. He really was a problem gambler. Until the happy ending of course. And Horation Sanz. I love that portly bastard. Those small things keep it from surpassing Magorium as the worst movie reviewed. Congrats(golf clap)

The Flock

2008-05-27T11:11:00.008-04:00

The Flock. Crime suspense, with some elements I like. I'm a big fan of Claire Danes(unfort Mugs isn't) and Andrew(Wai-Keung) Lau. Lau is an stylish director, making the Infernal Affairs series among other films. Richard Gere manages to make a not terrible movie every once in a while, how can I not check it out?

Set as a taut abduction thriller, Gere and Danes seem to have good antagonistic chemistry. Not cops, both agents track and keep up with registered sex offenders in an area. We explore a dark world, where no one on either side is a good person. Molesters, murderers, abductors, and just twisted fetishists are explored, and indulged. I don't have a ton to say about it because it was mostly things I'm not dying to talk about.

Very dark, and very creepy The Flock doesn't leave you feeling good. It is well made, and well acted, but I can't imagine it being mainstream with the subject matter. I'd like to recommend it
because it is a good movie, but it is definitely disturbing and not for everyone or every mood. Proceed with caution

**--**
Well, this was a short review and Top Gun is on TV. I'll talk about it for a min. Some parts of it are so terribly dated. I can't imagine finding Kelly McGillis attractive, and the bar scenes are insane. However, the soundtrack is stil rock solid, and when Goose dies, it still gets one a bit choked up. How can you not flip to it when it's on?
PPS* did you know Maverick's replacement partner Merlin was Tim Robbins? Me either...

Lust, Caution

2008-05-26T10:44:00.005-04:00

Lust, Caution. Here is the latest movie from acclaimed director Ang Lee, who you know from movies such as Crouching Tiger, Brokeback Mountain, and Sense and Sensibility. Lee makes slow moving beautiful films starring beautiful people, that are in general entertaining and tend to be re watchable.

Lust, Caution came from Netflix recently, but one has to find the right time to watch it. We had actually settled on watching The Flock instead, but neither of us wanted to get up and change the DVD so we stuck with LC. The movie opens in Japanese occupied 1942 Shanghai, stylish and seemingly era appropriate.

Settings and outfits are terrifically done, and Lee's eye for beauty is immediately apparent. One of my favorite Chinese actors, Tony Leung, shines in the male lead. The story flows slowly but steadily, immersing us in the world of a group of Chinese revolutionary college students. Violence is at a minimum, but the NC-17 rating is definitely earned with the steamy scenes. Mugs and I both agree it should have been called "Caution, ... ... Lust!" but both words in the title are certainly earned.

Ang Lee has created another visually stunning, great movie. Easily captivating for the whole two hours, if it's on TV I'm sure I'll watch it again. I'd definitely recommend it for most folks, if you can live with some slowness and a lot of love scenes.

**
PS - Congratulations to Syracuse University, who today in Boston won their unprecedented 10th mens Lacrosse national title. Lets go Orange!

TMNT

2008-05-25T19:09:00.003-04:00

TMNT. So I'm home on this lovely Memorial Day weekend, hanging out with my father. After watching another disappointing Red Sox game(we're no longer in first place) I took a break from the Deadliest Catch marathon to check out TMNT on HBO Family.

I was a big fan of the turtles the first time they came around, I remember being mildly intrigued when this project emerged. Some interest + duty to my readers = unfortunately-not-HD animated viewing.

I wasn't really sure what to expect going in. I didn't really hear anyone talking about TMNT when it came out, and I wasn't sure who the target audience is. Narrated by Lawrence Fishburne, we're greeted by central American martial corruption that has opened movies like Rambo and reminded one of the ending of Hulk. We are then treated to a story from long ago, an interesting legend in the style of the back story from The Fifth Element(warlord from long ago waiting for an aligning of elements to harness outside forces).

The turtles (I assume they're no longer teenaged, as it has been 14 years since the last installment) act silly enough that we're going for a young audience, but there is enough action and CGI April O'Neil to aim for a slightly older crowd as well. The back story is interesting and cool looking, and there is plenty of turtle martial arts to please action fans. We are also treated to the voice talents of Ziyi Zhang, Patrick Stewart, and the venerable and always under appreciated Mako, who has starred in numerous movies, animated pieces, and enjoyed success on Broadway. Sadly, Mako died the day after he was announced as the voice of Splinter, after he had recorded all of his lines.

The movie stays interesting for an adult(if you're familiar with the subject matter) and should be light enough for children. I didn't expect too much here, and I was pleasantly surprised. I was disappointed at the lack of Bebop and Rocksteady but if that's my biggest complaint then I think we're doing ok.

In the Valley of Elah

2008-05-20T12:03:00.005-04:00

In the Valley of Elah. When this movie came out I really wanted to see it. I loved the name and thought Ben Kingsley was in it for some reason. Well, he's not in it, and the name refers to a pretty stupid scene in the movie. Two strikes but here we go anyways.

So Elah actually stars Tommy Lee Jones. In a role seemingly very similar to No Country For Old Men, which I liked a lot. The pacing and visual style also seem very similar to NCFOM. Subject matter is a missing soldier, tension between civilians and military personnel, I like it so far. Also, the missing son is Jonathan Tucker, who was in Mugs' ballet class when they were young. We've seen him on things like Law and Order(CI of course), it's nice to see him succeeding.

Like No Country, Elah is slooooooow and deliberate. Unlike No Country, Elah is boring as shite. Really boring. Margo said the story is really what hurt it. Nothing interesting, or gripping, or suspenseful. They're trying so hard to not be formulaic, they just avoided anything that would catch our attention. Jones is good, and Tucker seems fine in his sporadic parts. Charlize Theron seems to be in full on "I'm a real actor mode", no longer wanting to be a sex symbol. She's fine, nothing too special here.

The movie is just slow, and not very interesting. I say pass ...

Birthday.

2008-05-18T21:25:00.006-04:00

Good evening faithful readers. Today is May 18th, today is my birthday. Many things have happened on May 18th. It is sometimes Victoria Day, Mt. St. Helens erupted on it, and it is the birthday of
Our last pope(JP II)
Reggie Jackson
El Guapo
Chow Yun-Fat
Tina Fey
Jessica Cutler, an old friend from elementary school (*not safe for work)(same year as me too)
Stephen Geller
...
Me !

I was born on this day in 1978, which makes me 30 and officially over the hill. To celebrate this momentous occasion, a trip was made to Atlantic city, featuring Dan, Yoni, Steve(Geller) and myself. We decided to stay at the Borgata, which was very expensive but sounded worth it. The drive down took about 8 hours which sucked, but we all met up and silliness ensued.

So what happened this weekend? Nothing too crazy to be honest, but we had a lot of fun. We played some table games, I showed my skills at poker, and I was briefly stricken with the disease known as lobstermania(I caught it from Yoni). I also have a bad beat story from the WSOP satellite I played in. I won't bore you with it here but I'll tell anyone who asks.

Our room in the Borgata was fairly disappointing, but the hotel itself was an experience. It has restaurants, clubs, stores, and lots and lots of gambling. I didn't leave the hotel from Friday when we got there til Sunday when we checked out, I didn't need to. Sunday we had brunch at a local place called The Pirate's Den, where Yoni gave them an Oreo cake to serve us, complete with trick candles.

Now I'm home again, we'll see how long I can stretch this thing out.

American Gladiators

2008-05-13T23:47:00.005-04:00

American Gladiators(the new one, season 2). I've been wondering lately what is wrong with my movie consumption. I think right now it's the Red Sox. They're taking up an awful lot of my evening time, taking the place of 3-4 movies a week, minimum,

Sunday night was the season premiere of the new American Gladiators, and I watched it tonight. Overall I'm happy with the additions this season. There are a few new events that seem fun, and many of the older ones have been spiced up. We also have a few new gladiators, last season's contender champions among them. On the women's side they have sexed appealed it up, adding two attractive female gladiators to bring their grand total to two. On the men's side, they have brought in Rocket who, while also adding some sex appeal, seems to be only fit for chasing on the wall.

First of all I'm very glad I was watching this on DVR. There's almost as much fluff in AG as in the Olympics. Skipping ahead in 30 second chunks has rarely been so useful. They try to make us care about these useless overly energetic wannabes, with time they could use on another event. I love the events, but despise the fluff.

Speaking of fluff, the second set of male contenders featured a man with a prosthetic leg.
"I want to prove I can do anything". Well, you can't. Lame Lame Lame(ha!). It's like when there was the little person on the Amazing Race, who kept shouting she could do anything then complaining when people wouldn't help her pathetic flailing at things she needed to reach, eventually crying that it wasn't fair. This contestant, John, was just terrible. He was awful at every event, he should have been embarrassed to prove that he in fact couldn't do the same things as his two legged opponent(The Wall was the worst event, as Wolf visibly started late, then climbed slowly trying to make John feel like he had a chance). Then came the Eliminator. I thought the two women in the first match up each taking over 10 minutes to finish had been bad. John struggled to swim, then kept getting his prosthetic caught in the cargo net. He limped his way to the travelator, the clock no longer displayed. Unable to climb after several attempts(edited to seem like not as much time) they turned off the damn conveyor belt. John barely walked up even still, then he was greeted with a heroes welcome at the end. Really? That's worth celebrating? He was bad at every event, and had to cheat just to finish. Bravo gimpy, bravo.

The show is still fun, but lets concentrate on the athletic events, not the autistic students or underdog stories.

Bottle Rocket

2008-05-11T13:02:00.008-04:00

Bottle Rocket. Wes Anderson's first film. Starring a very young Luke and Owen Wilson. I acquired this DVD recently, and question why I had never heard of it. I like the actors and the director, I like quirky comedies, and I'm in touch with movies in general. I wonder how it slipped through my fingers. Margo saw it a long time ago and recommended it, so here we go.

Well, two things become immediately obvious :
This is indeed a Wes Anderson movie
This is one of his early works

Anderson has a style all his own, somehow creating characters and settings independent of time or place. He also has a fondness for the Wilson brothers, as they seem to be in all of his projects. Bottle Rocket is fairly slow going, and is more of a character study than a story. Not all that much happens, but we're given a lot of strange dialogue and interaction. Anderson gives a boutique role to James Caan and manages to get a funny part for Kumar Pallana(playing Kumar), who works his way into each of Anderson's films.

It's a slice of bizarre life in the American southwest, and it's entertaining if you're not expecting a masterpiece. Certainly worth it for Wes Anderson fans. Check it out if you get a chance.

10,000 B.C.

2008-05-11T10:02:00.003-04:00

10,000 B.C. It looked very intriguing when it came to theaters, and even though it would most likely be bad I still wanted to see it. I finally got my opportunity today. I expected something similar to Apocalypto, which was bad(like a 4 out of 10 maybe), but not as horrendous as everyone seemed to write. I believe some of the bad reviews it garnered were anti-Mel Gibson sentiment.

10kbc is bad. Very bad. Very Very bad. Much worse than Apocalypto. I think the decision to subtitle was very good in Apoc, the decision to have everyone speak English in 10kbc was a poor one. It was ridiculous. The idea that they would have a complex spoken language in 12 thousand years ago is just silly. That a whole other race would speak it fluently(complete with idioms) after meeting one man for a short period of time is sillier. That men could speak English to our hero, and real time translate with someone speaking a third language entirely from a few hundred yards away is the silliest yet. Language was far from the movie's only problems. The geography and technology were both so out of place one wonders why they bothered trying to say it was earth, or naming it as a specific time in history.

OK, time to stop picking on details. The acting? Terrible. Writing? Maybe it was written by the woolly mammoths they must have spent so much money CGI'ing. The score was over the top and completely inappropriate. I watch a lot of bad movies(as you can see here). I don't mind watching bad movies, I have fun with them. 10,000 BC however, wasn't fun to watch. If I wasn't reviewing it, I would have turned it off pretty quickly. The writer and director should be punished for this result. What's that you say? They're the same person? And he produced it too? For shame Roland Emmerich, for shame. He has a history of bad, large scale movies. I'm honestly surprised he didn't make Waterworld, whose level of disaster nears 10kbc.

Don't see this movie. Or see it for free. Don't give any more money to such a bad project. Maybe Emmerich will stop making movies, or maybe not. One can only hope ...

(PS, as I write this, The Last Castle is on TV. A guard in a tower just shot a prisoner in the head from about a hundred yards with a shotgun. A shotgun. And it only made an entry and exit hole. Huh? How many things are wrong with that?)

Pootie Tang

2008-05-07T09:37:00.004-04:00

Pootie Tang. When I came out with my top 5 list, I was asked by a coworker about 'Pootie Tang'. I saw it a long time ago I think, but I didn't really remember it. That isn't necessarily a bad sign, as I've most likely forgotten more movies than most people have seen. I'm not holding it against PT. So I got it from Netflix, and here we go.

Pootie is written by Louis CK, who I think is a terribly underrated and hilarious writer and comic. I was sad when Lucky Louie was cancelled after just one season. Our star/hero is Pootie Tang, played by Lance Crouther who hasn't done much else. But the ensemble cast around him is great. Chris Rock plays a number of roles, and the hilarious JB Smoove(who was most recently fantastic in Curb) is his lifelong friend and sidekick, Dave Attell is the right-hand man of the bad guy, and Jennifer Coolidge is the (very abusive)evil seductress, and the off the wall Wanda Sykes is our female protagonist/voice of reason.

Pootie speaks charming gibberish, and he's always too cool for whatever situation he's in. The film is campy and terrific, and I loved every minute of it. Each character is well cast and well placed, and the movie is short and sweet. We even have a couple of actors from the Wire, Dirty Dee and Froggie.

If you like silly comedies, check it out.

Top TV Shows

2008-05-05T13:12:00.007-04:00

I have done a top 5 Movies list, and I wanted to do a couple of other lists. Movies 6-10 will come some day, probably this summer, I have to really sit down and think about it. First I will do a top 5 TV shows.

I want to provide two Caveats :
1) These are shows I find it most enjoyable to watch. This is not the highest quality shows, as when I was thinking about it, that was too boring.
2) I am not including any cartoons on here, as at least one(not one you'd guess) would be on this list. I am going to come up with a separate list for animation.

1) Seinfeld. Totally cliched but what can I do? If I didn't make it #1 it would be for the sake of trying to be different. No thanks. Seinfeld was consistently funny, and it pervades our culture. Larry David and Jerry gave us phrases, situations, stereotypes, all sorts of things that have really become a part of our lexicon. With four of TV's more memorable characters starring, memorable fringe characters(Newman, Peterman) and a never ending bevvy of beauties Jerry dated, Seinfeld excelled in every way. It was funny the first time, it's funny the second time. Any time Seinfeld is on it's good for a laugh.

2) The Wire. I've said it before, I'll say it again. While the Wire was on, it was the best show on television. I've seen many many shows, movies, plays, etc. The Wire was simply amazing. Terrific cast, writing, pace, set, stories. Just so well done. If you didn't watch the Wire, you can't take violence, or you're simply crazy. Only two options.

3) Flight of the Conchords. Genius, pure Kiwi genius. Bret and Jemaine(real and character names) are each terribly funny. Their interactions are funny. Their manager Murray is hilarious, and how he handles the band, his life, and his job are original and knee slapping. Mel is creepy and endearing at the same time, and I like the music so much I bought the CD. If you like quirky comedy, you should certainly check it out.

4) To Catch a Predator. I enjoy laughing at the discomfort of others, and predator is jam packed. Weird, creepy guys, overzealous cops. And the justifiably smarmiest TV show host this side of Gene Rayburn. I just can't get enough of these guys begging Chris Hansen for mercy and telling him about their families, good jobs, and responsible lives, outside of the whole sex-with-12-year -olds habit.

5) High Stakes Poker. Strange choice here. But, if you consider that there are a spate of poker shows out there, and this is the only one that gets it right it makes sense. Gabe Kaplan is blessed with a comedic mind, and a wealth of poker knowledge and experience. His rapport with AJ Benza is pure gold. High Stakes Poker is played with the largest stacks, and it's a cash game so there's a higher quality of play. They get all of the biggest name professionals, as well as amateurs ranging from dead money(LV gynecologist Dr. Amir Nassiri) to ringers (Cirque de Soleil creator Guy Laliberte). Poker After Dark is fun, but it's a tournament format and there's a severe lack of commentating. HSP is the best of a burgeoning genre, and I love to watch it.

Notably left off :

All animation, see above.

Little Britain. Terrific, hilarious show. However, the recent emergence of That Mitchell and Webb Look makes it less unique. Still terrific, but got bumped out of the top 5

The Office. Terrific show. I don't miss it. It's terribly funny, but I can't separate out the US and UK versions well enough, and similar humor can be seen in other Carell and Gervais projects.
Extras is terrific too.

The Ultimate Fighter. Great reality TV, without most of the contrived drama. And good UFC action. There's a lot to like here, it's just not a ton better than Top Chef or a few others, so it didn't quite make the top.

More later, I'd love to hear your opinions.

Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay

2008-04-30T23:08:00.009-04:00

Harold and Kumar 2. I loved the first one, so did my dearest Mugs. Wed has become date night(no more trivia) so we went to the rustic Capitol Theater in Arlington to see the latest installment. Found a good parking spot, bought some popcorn and Sierra Mist, giddy up.

As we watched the previews, the only other people in the theater were three teenagers, who talked loudly and seemed to be texting each other from adjacent seats. As the movie began, a few more groups of 20 somethings stomped(literally) in, and Margo and I got the impression we were the only ones there who weren't high(or on something).

HK2 picks up mere days(possibly hours) after HK1, their plan to go to Amsterdam now ready to go. Kal Penn is his usual irresponsible genius self, these two kind of remind me of Vince Vaughn and John Favreau. Though I guess a lot of 'buddy films' have a similar dynamic. Lots and lots of stupid humor here, which I liked.

Drug jokes, kneeing in the balls, and tons of gratuitous nudity. Neil Patrick Harris again helps out our dynamic duo, and we're treated to the over-the-top comic stylings of Rob Corddry(and a short but funny cameo from Ed Helms). One thing neither of us liked was the prolonged scene with 'George Bush'. Not necessary and not very funny to be honest, though there was one memorably funny line that I can't really repeat here.

If you like Kal Penn, or John Cho, or Harold and Kumar, or drug movies, go see it. Very funny. Margo wasn't crazy about it, if she can put together her counterpoint I'll put it up. Also, please note the slight format change on the left. Thank you :)

--
Here's Margo's short response
--

*************
I agree with Cris on many of the points especially the parody of
"George Bush." The whole "our president is stupid," just isn't working
for us anymore as a country. It didn't work during the first or second
election so move on. No one cares enough to do anything about it and
the joke is old anyway.

The actual counterpoint I have to Cris's review is the lame jokes about
Guantanamo Bay. Over the top scenarios, something maybe Sacha Baron
Cohen could cook up, I can see really enjoying. But HK2 falls short of
that by so much that the scenes in the beginning at the jail looked
like they belonged in "Ernest Goes to Guantanamo Bay."

~m

The Forbidden Kingdom

2008-04-27T22:30:00.005-04:00

The Forbidden Kingdom. A new martial arts tale for American audiences, starring Jet Li and Jackie Chan! Together on screen for the first time ever! This alone should bring plenty of folks out to see it. On this Sunday matinee, it brought three of my friends(well, two really) and myself out to see it on the big screen.

First let me apologize to that third friend. They thought we were seeing another movie, due to a miscommunication. During the opening credits it dawned on me that they just realized we were seeing Forbidden Kingdom, and I was greatly amused but a bit contrite. There are three main elements to this movie : Jet Li, Jackie Chan, everything else. I'll address them separately.

First, Jet Li. As many of you know, I'm a huge Jet Li fanboy. I love love love him. He was great. Both as the Monkey King, and the seeker(Silent) monk. He projects his power well, and his Kung Fu is very strong, very strong indeed. I like how he talks, how he doesn't talk, and I love how he fights. If you're a Jet Li fan, you'll enjoy his performance.

Jackie Chan made me trepiditious about this movie. He hasn't been anything good in a long time. Longer then I can remember. He's so into making crappy comedy these days all of the elements of his work suffer. In the beginning of the movie when he's playing the old shopkeeper he was this old self. Bad Lines, bad delivery. He started to lose me. But, when we're in the 'other times', when Jackie reprises probably his most beloved role as the Drunken Master, all is well. He is genuinely funny, completely in character, and totally kick ass. Really good stuff.

The rest of the movie. Well, the story is fairly formulaic quest-movie stuff. While Sparrow is pretty, I don't know if any of the other characters in the movie will move you. The fact that the modern part is set in Boston is extremely laughable. Unbelievable even. It's almost not even comical it's so ridiculous. There is beautiful scenery throughout, and even though they're on the same side, and it's not the main showdown, we get a good dose of Li/Chan fighting. Enough to satisfy for sure. It felt like when we finally got to see Yoda fight, but in a longer scene.

If you're a fan of Martial Arts, or Jackie Chan, or Jet Li, see this movie. It's a lot of fun, and pretty cool. And if you know Jet Li, get me his email address. Thanks.

Blue Harvest

2008-04-25T18:57:00.003-04:00

Family Guy Presents : Blue Harvest. I thought this was an actual movie for a while, not just an extended episode of the show that aired on TV. I waited for a long time to see it, and I finally got a copy of it on DVD so I watched it, and I'm reviewing it like it's a normal movie(a 42 minute movie). I'm also going to call it FGSW(Family Guy Star Wars) because I don't want to type out the whole name every time. I'm sure you won't hold it against me.

Let me preface(I guess the second paragraph of a review can't really be a preface, but deal with it) with this : I am a very large fan of Star Wars, Family Guy, and remakes. So my opinion of the movie will obviously be slightly skewed, but at least I recognize this.

FGSW is a terrific parody. Both honoring Star Wars, and slightly mocking it, Seth MacFarlane is obviously a fan of the originals. Incorporating every character from Family Guy, FGSW keeps the laugh up throughout. One of my favorite momentary cameos is when they walk into the Cantina in Mos Eisley, there's Coach McGirk in the background. Love it! (even one of the Spaceballs characters has a small speaking part - parody of a parody)

We basically follow a modified script of episodes IV-VI, crunched into 42 minutes or so. If you're a fan of Star Wars, Family Guy, cartoons, or quirky comedy, please watch this. Totally worth it IMO, then lend me the DVD cause I'd love to see the DVD extras.

The Bank Job

2008-04-23T23:50:00.003-04:00

I'm back! Where was I you might ask? A little reading, a lot of TV. Some pool, and a lot more sleep. And who suffers? You, my faithful readers. I'd like to apologize for my prolonged absence. Well, I have made my triumphant return, I promise I'll review more consistently again.

----

The Bank Job. British caper film starring Jason Statham. What's not to like? Set in the 70's, we're chock full of retro cars and outfits, peppered with base cockney.

Boy was I wrong. A few short minutes into the film, we are given the weak, poorly set up, and not very original premise(I don't even think it's worth explaining). Not a good start. Extremely strange chemistry between the mains, and overacting by all aren't even close to being saved by lots of gratuitous nudity(or the lovely Saffron Burrows).

The director seems to think that suspense can be created by merely sound effects. In a scene lacking emotion or drama of any kind, we are treated to the 'bum-bum bum bum' of a heartbeat. Like our heart should be racing. Really? How about well written lines. How about actors reacting to situations appropriately. Terrible, just terrible.

If I had had anything at all to do with this movie I'd be too embarrassed to tell anyone. I can't believe it was released for public consumption, even given people's penchant for terrible and stupid movies. I just don't get it.

Zebraman.

2008-04-18T23:49:00.003-04:00

Zebraman. This is a film by Takashi Miike, who specializes in drawn out horrory films. He brought us such gems as One Missed Call(the original), Audition, Ichi the Killer(which is uber-violent and worth seeing) and the Dead or Alive series(no not like the video games).

Zebraman was Miike's trip into the nonsensical. I think he was sick of making films that were too serious, and this is how he blew off some steam. The buildup of the movie features typical Japanese craziness, useless characters and heaps of slow moving social awkwardness.

Our hero is a terribly strange school teacher who dreams of being a character from an old, cancelled TV show called Zebraman. After trials and tribulations, he is called to fight an alien menace threatening his town, Japan, and ultimately the earth. Will he succeed where the TV character could not? Watch and see.

Zabraman is like the definition of Campy, if you were reading the Japanese wikipedia. Cheesy wardrobe and hokey story serve to endear the film more than anything else. It's like the weird kid in class, it's kind of interesting to watch what they're doing.

If you can live through a slow movie with an even slower beginning, and over the top silliness from a horror director, I say check it out. Netflix has it, and one copy is on the way back to the warehouse.

Outlaw

2008-04-17T16:53:00.004-04:00

Outlaw. Another mysterious Netflix selection. Came in the mail recently and it looks interesting. British, violent, crime drama. I like Sean Bean, why not?

First impression. This is a fairly large budget movie with big stars. But it has a strangely small production values. Extremely shaky filming. Like Blair Witch on stationary targets, 10 years later. It's not original or appropriate, and just ends up annoying you. Then there's the lighting. Maybe they couldn't afford enough lights for the set? The director was no doubt trying to be edgy with these effects, but failed miserably.

The story we follow is thin, and doesn't really stick with you. Why are these people doing this again? Why do they keep quitting then coming back then quitting then showing up again? Sean Bean looks like what he's supposed to be I suppose, but Lennie James (I only know him from Snatch..., oh and Jericho) was a terribly unconvincing Barrister.

I always like Bob Hoskins, I think Outlaw could have used a bigger dose. Overall, the movie came in with low expectations, and barely lived up to that. Not interesting, well shot or well acted. Maybe if you're doing something and need background noise, but please don't pay a cent to view this.

Becoming Jane

2008-04-09T17:29:00.005-04:00

Becoming Jane. Another Victorian movie with a weak premise and mediocre actors. Anne Hathaway is hot, but other than Devil Wears Prada(and Havoc to some extent) she is a really sub par actress. James McAvoy, similarly was good in Last King of Scotland but really seems to be getting along by the fact that women find him attractive. Pretty weak for the mains in a big production movie. I wish I could blame it on the writers strike, but Hollywood kind of sucks these days.

Another thing that bothers me : Hathaway(an American) is playing a Brit. And McAvoy(a Scot) is playing an Irishman. Are we supposed to be stupid and not notice? Hathaway at least pretends to have a British accent, but McAvoy maintains completely his Scottish Brogue. Not one word he utters sounds authentic. If you were Irish OR Scottish wouldn't that make you upset? I'm willing to speak out. Make it stop, now! There are plenty of European actors with experience, looks, and ability. Lets get some people who are actually from the country they play to be from. Please, I implore you.

If you're engaged in crude fisticuffs with someone, hitting, being hit, and someone speaks your name. Not yells, not shouts urgently but speaks. Do you stop fighting completely and stare at them? Apparently James McAvoy does, and gets knocked out. Repeatedly.

When one makes a film that's supposed to be gripping, you're supposed to care about the characters? Hathaway and McAvoy were completely unlikeable. They started out vapid and annoying, and just declined from there. My co-worker said I should name the review 'Becoming Lame' I agree.

See at your own risk.

The Seven Year Itch

2008-04-06T21:52:00.005-04:00

The Seven Year Itch. The last installment(for now) in the Marilyn portion of movie swap, my post pool movie tonight is The Seven Year Itch. I can't help feeling like I've seen the movie before, but we'll see I guess.

The main character of the movie is really Richard Sherman(Tom Ewell), a terribly frustrating man, not the lovely 'the Girl'(Marilyn Monroe). Screen time is completely disproportionally in favor of one of the most annoying movie characters I remember ever seeing. The style seems off as well. The sparsity and small number of sets made me think this was originally a play. I looked it up, and indeed it was. Starring the same Tom Ewell. This would explain a couple of things :
He overacts terribly(also a problem of the 50's in general)
He constantly speaks aloud his inner dialog. I can see how this is informative in a play, but in a movie it's really really unnecessary and stupid. Just shut up already. Really.

The movie is terribly dated, and is miles and miles from being 'The funniest comedy since laughter began!' as it is billed. The number one movie from 1955, peculiar ideas permeate. The only thing that translates is Monroe. She truly is intoxicating as 'the girl'. She would be famous in any era, which is more than I can say about most of her co stars. See it if you're into classics or Monroe, but don't expect to laugh out loud.

PS. There are two extremely brief scenes with a plumber, who is one of the scariest looking people I've ever seen.

PPS. Despite declaring at the beginning that I hadn't ever seen a Marilyn movie, I had actually seen at least 2. I guess they didn't leave a lasting impression.

An Affair to Remember

2008-04-06T11:38:00.006-04:00

An Affair to Remember. I have two more classics to watch before I get back to my Netflix queue. A friend lent me 'Affair' a couple of weeks ago, but the first time I had to run out of the house in the middle of the showing. Home on Sunday, just put the laundry in, lets check it out.

Affair stars Cary Grant, one of history's most remarkable screen presences. He's handsome, confident, so self assured. He seems like he could make almost anything watchable. At 53, he still comes across as vibrant and full of youthful energy, wooing a much younger woman doesn't seem quite so ridiculous(as say, Fred Astaire). Opposite Grant is Deborah Kerr, who holds her own quite well. Pretty and coquettish, Kerr trades looks and quips with Grant stride for stride.

This is another film set on an ocean cruise, as many movies in the 50's seem to be. Mugs and I have discussed trying to imagine that being the big style of a swanky vacation. Journeys greeted by ticker-tape and a dock of awaiting friends and family. Voyages being such a big deal. Can't. I can't imagine.

The story is nice, and is the inspiration for Sleepless in Seattle, among other films(though it's a remake itself). One can't help but be charmed by Grant and Kerr, definitely recommended if you're in the mood for a slightly cheesy romance.

Waitress

2008-03-30T21:09:00.006-04:00

Waitress. This was a request by Margo from a few weeks ago. Then she never wanted to watch it, so I gave up and checked it out. What did I expect coming in? A little movie where Keri Russell gets to show her stuff, some cheesiness, just a cute little indie flick.

Ok, so we're in a diner. Somewhere in the south, Mississippi it seems. Keri Russell bakes pies. Lots of pies. And daydreams. She is stuck in a boring job, and a loveless marriage. Her husband(Jeremy Sisto) is an angry, abusive(verbally, emotionally, then physically), and extremely needy man. Jenna(Russell)'s coworkers are inane but good hearted, and her main customer is an enigmatic old man who seems to be superfluous to the plot.

Jenna finds herself pregnant and her new doctor is Dr. Pommiter (Nathan Fillion from Firefly). It has taken me a long time to get to my main point. This movie is weird. Weird weird weird. People are bizarre, relationships are strained and quirky, the movie is filled with strangely named Pies!

It's hard to describe what's so out of the ordinary, but the movie is far from what's expected. I think it didn't do well commercially because people couldn't even nail down what genre it truly belongs in. You'll have to see it to truly appreciate, but one certainly might not like it. Worth viewing IMO, but don't say I didn't warn you.

Morcheeba

2008-03-27T23:18:00.006-04:00

One of my favorite bands came to town tonight. Morcheeba at the Somerville Theater. I saw them once before, at the Avalon(which doesn't exist any more) about two years ago I think. Their lead singer wasn't the one I was familiar with, I found out later that they had recently made a change. Last time it was a terrific show, and I had a great time. I had high hopes tonight.

First a quick social commentary. Why is it that 'Doors open at 6:30, main act starts at 7:30' means doors open after 7
opening act starts at 7:45
headliners start around 8:45
Annoying and ridiculous. Why can't the actual time of the show be what is listed on the web site, the tickets and the marquee? Wouldn't that make sense? Does anyone prefer this ridiculously inaccurate time reporting? It's worse than Microsoft time estimates on file transfers.

The opening act was awful. Federico Aubele. We thought he was joking. Along with a female companion, he performed strange, unenthusiastic numbers. Both of them seemed bored to tears on stage, counting the minutes until they could get back to sitting on a couch somewhere. Their act features two rattles and a triangle, each used quite sparingly. Terrible terrible terrible. Really, avoid this guy unless you have insomnia.

Far, far after 7:30 Morcheeba enters. This is another singer entirely. And she seems French! It's funny, when she sings their older numbers she has a more British accent. I would guess that this is because she is imitating. The newer the song is, the more her French accent comes out, and when she speaks she has obviously 'traveled all the way from Paris for this tour' as the guitarist confides in us.

The music is catchy and melodic. There is genuine chemistry between the performers, and the music sounds great. Vocals are somewhat de-emphasized, which makes sense considering their turnover, but old songs still sound good. After a nice length set, Morcheeba came back out for a perfectly paced 4 song encore that got everyone on their feet and dancing. People spilled out happy, well done. See them in concert if you can, highly recommended.

The Eye

2008-03-26T17:09:00.005-04:00

the Eye. Another movie I wouldn't have watched if not for Jessica Alba. But we all have our reasons for doing things. The film also stars Alessandro Nivola, whose brother I kind of knew in college, and who I think I met once.

The Eye starts out with dark jump cuts filled with something scary. You can't tell exactly what, but there are screams and loud threatening things going on. This isn't what I expected from the movie. Then we get to Alba. Walking around, showing us how capable of a blind person she is. She can cross the street! She knows the doorman! She can smell flowers! Hooray for her. Lame lame lame.

Alba(her character is Syd, she seems to love playing characters with gender ambiguous names) is getting surgery to replace her eyes. Her sister flies into town to support her, keep her company in her time of need. Parker Posey is the sister. I'm normally a big fan of Posey, but she's pretty useless here.

We're supposed to be scared of the glimpses of death bringer thingies, and care that it upsets Alba. She has absolutely no chemistry with Nivola, and the movie completely fails to engage the viewer. Alba doesn't sparkle and acts as poorly as ever. I'd stay away.

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

2008-03-24T01:41:00.006-04:00

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. The latest installment of the movie swap stars Marilyn Monroe. The lovely miss Monroe was the object of obsession for a period of my friend's life, resulting in her collecting all things Marilyn(posters, magazines, trading cards), including all of her movies. Yes this is a little creepy, but she's a nice girl so we'll let it pass.

Believe it or not this is my first Marilyn movie. Blondes is a musical(loosely) that also stars Jane Russell. The ladies are a musical act(on Broadway?) that is horribly dated. Mugs said they were dancing like 60 year old women. We are also subject to the ya-ya-yammering of Monroe's millionaire sap(fiancee) whom she kept calling daddy(yes, as weird as it sounds).

The women decide to take a cruise to France, without the fiancee. The US Olympic team is on board, however, as well as a number of rich men, young and old. Hi jinx ensue. We are treated to a number of musical numbers, including :
The Oh-so-creepy almost naked(flesh colored short shorts-with sweat stains) male gymnasts tumbling and flexing
The Uber-bizarre human chandelier in the Paris revue
The cool-to-see "Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend" performance that inspired the Material Girl video

Monroe has a constantly breathless way of speaking that I was able to handle for a movie. As I watch more we'll see if that grates on me. She does have quite a stage presence tho, and I'm intrigued by the stories of her nervousness and bouts with all sorts of substances. This is a fun movie, and has some historical significance. It is quite dated though, and a musical(much to Margo's dismay). Make your own decision :)

**Small correction. I have seen Some Like it Hot before, I didn't remember Marilyn was in that.

Breaking News

2008-03-23T16:33:00.005-04:00

Breaking News. I have been seriously neglecting my Netflix queue lately, which feels like I'm not getting my moneys worth. I gotta knock a few of these out this week. Mugs worked all day, and I had some time before pool, so I decided to watch the current Chinese movie(I usually have one out, and Margo usually isn't into them so it's good to watch while she's at work). Today's choice is Breaking News. I remember adding it to my queue because I like a lot of the main actors.

The story opens with a robbery, where we establish that the criminals are thoughtful and ever-planning, and our main policeman is persistent and plucky. The criminals get away, in a highly publicized police failure, and pressure is applied to both solve the crime, and make sure it looks good. One of the actors I watched for was Simon Yam, playing Asst. Commissioner Wong but unfortunately his appearance was more of a cameo.
Nick Cheung plays inspector Cheung(original I know) very well, following relentlessly like he was trying out for the next Die Hard movie. He is handsome and charming, and plays well off of Kelly Chen. Chen herself does well as the 'straight man', yelling at Cheung and manipulating the media. Richie Ren impresses as the bad guy who has thought of everything; Robbing, shooting, taking hostages, even showing off his cooking skills. The scenes in the apartment between Ren and Chung are actually touching, and some of the action is cool despite over reliance on the grenade as element of danger.

The beginning of the movie is an astounding 7 minute one shot take. Worth seeing if you have some time and like HK action films, but don't go out of you way to see it.

John Adams

2008-03-21T23:41:00.002-04:00

John Adams. Here is a new mini-series from HBO. Good. Produced by Tom Hanks? You've got me. I'm not a huge fan of Paul Giamatti, but maybe he'll surprise me. I'm interested in American history in general, and this series seems to have a cast of good actors.

We open on the night of the Boston Massacre. Giamatti is his normal overacting-in-strange-times self, making it difficult to tell what Adams is supposed to be feeling. A very poor job is done of conveying the horror of the massacre, or the effect it had on the locals. Another problem is that the British soldiers are so horribly weird looking, it really distracts. It honestly looks like they walked around the streets for a couple of hours, and grabbed the strangest people they could find. Then chose the worst actor among them to be the commander.

Then they completely skip the Boston Tea Party! This could have been the most fun scene to watch in the entire series. Give a good director that scene to work with, the budget of HBO and a little artistic license, what could they come up with? Oh, a mention that the tea party happened. Awesome.

The Continental congress is more boring to watch than C-SPAN, and Margo almost choked on her beverage the first time we saw the fake nose on the George Washington(David Morse).
Laura Linney brings very little to the table, and there has to be a better way to handle the wig issue. Two episodes were more than enough, I am miles from impressed. At least it shows that HBO can still make mistakes. If I manage to struggle through any more episodes when they come out I'll try to write another update, but so far, I would recommend that you stay away.

Into the Wild.

2008-03-19T23:32:00.006-04:00

Into the Wild. Hmm ... I have a lot of thoughts about this movie, I'm just not sure how to express all of them. Coming in I wasn't sure exactly what to expect. I think I like Emile Hirsch, and the subject matter sounded interesting. I didn't read the book, I don't know anything about the book, I don't think I even knew this was a true story. Mugs is much more in touch with the literary world than me, she seemed to know a lot about it. I read my share, just less mainstream stuff, and pretty much no non-fiction.

I have some perturbed things to say about the movie, so let me start with this : It was beautifully shot. The scenery was just amazing. It made me wish(a bit) I had seen it in a theater. Or on an HD DVD. Mountains, rivers, the Grand Canyon. Roads, deserts, even the people were really filmed well. It was almost like watching a National Geographic special.

As for the subject matter... Hmm... I really really disliked the protagonist Alex(played by Hirsch). I just found him so terribly hypocritical and annoying. He was all about preaching absolutes(which he didn't adhere to) when life isn't black and white. Last night Margo was trying to help me put a finger on just what I hated about him so much. She realized that I hate fundamentalism. This is true. Religions, statements, beliefs in general. I don't like a 'black and white' view of the world. People have asked me to get more into this, but I don't want to rant, and I don't want to make more people upset than normal. We can get more into it one-on-one if you'd like, I'm around :)

Overall, the movie is interesting, and visually terribly engrossing. Most people won't have the same problems I did with it, so I can recommend it. I felt unsatisfied, but check it out for yourself. It's at least worth seeing so you can talk about it :)

**Spoiler alert**
I was kind of happy he died at the end. It feels like the inevitable ending to throwing away all of the rest of the world. And even though it seems like it wasn't his intent to die out there, it must have been one of the possibilities as he entered his 'great Alaskan adventure'.

The Constant Gardener.

2008-03-17T18:56:00.006-04:00

The Constant Gardener. I saw this movie a couple of years ago, and didn't really like it. A friend recently recommended it to me, and I couldn't for the life of me remember why. I just remembered it being very long, and unsatisfying.

About 2 minutes into the movie, I remembered. It is starring two of my least favorite actors. Rachel Weisz, and Ralph Fiennes. Weisz has this brimming overbearingness that comes through in most of her roles. I know some people find this charming, but it drives me a bit mad. I also find her terribly unattractive. I have fostered a dislike for Rafe(I'm writing the pretentious crap phonetically) ever since I saw The English Patient in Spanish. Every role I've seen him in (Except Valdemort) has been of a simpering ninny. Just spineless uselessness. I am very much looking forward to seeing In Bruges, maybe he'll turn things around.

The good news is that they are both well cast in Gardener. Weisz, the bulldozer do-what-you-think-is-best-everyone-else-be-damned activist who drives everyone nuts and hurts everyone who cares for her. Fiennes the rare male 'wet blanket' who underwhelms and acts completely helpless for most of the very long two hours.

The scenery is amazing. Craters, trees, lakes, rivers, the landscapes are breathtaking. We see the vibrant colors and beautiful nature from the perspective of planes, cars, and walking people. Aside from the mains, the people are terrific. Showing a genuine, wholehearted friendliness and exuberance, you can't help smiling at the adorable children. We also see the terrible side of a country with an unstable government. Corruption, graft, constant fear for ones safety, being preyed upon by every outside force and native power possible.

There is a legitimate political agenda in the movie, not bothering to hide. It could have been done well, but seems thin and hacky. Strange indigence and hinted threats only work for so long. If we could combine an effective message with the scenery and take just that, I may have really liked the movie. The main players however, and the poor social commentary doom it for me. View at your own risk.

Awake

2008-03-16T20:42:00.008-04:00

Awake. Came in from Netflix last week, I just never got around to watching it. A friend wants to borrow the DVD, so why not knock it off while I have some free time. Got home early cause we won our 9-ball match this week!

So who is in this movie? Jessica Alba and Hayden Christenson. This does not make me hopeful. As much as I love Alba(and Margo can attest, that's a lot) I don't remember her ever being in a movie that made me say "that was a good movie". Except for ... nope, never a good movie. Oh wait, Sin City. That was a good movie, but her part was pretty inconsequential for me.
Hayden Christenson however, finally found a part written for him.
"You're under general anesthetic. You can't move. ACTION!" As much as it seemed like he thought that was his role in the Star Wars movies, it wasn't. He was also pretty wooden in Jumper, so I am glad he's lying down.

Terrance Howard. Now there's an actor. He excels in every role he's in, and he seems to be making a daily, non SAG rate. I don't understand why that's not a story, and some day I'll find out more about it. Shooter McGavin and the goofy guy from Short Circuit are doctors, and playing serious roles.

Christenson needs a heart transplant, and he wants his friend(Howard) to perform the surgery.
The process begins, but he retains consciousness without the ability to do anything except feel pain and have out of body experiences. This allows him, and the viewer, to see all of the twists and turns that take place in this anything-but-ordinary procedure.

Awake is well paced, interesting, and just a good movie. I was pleasantly surprised throughout, as all of the actors seem well casted, and the dialogue was effective. I would recommend it for almost anyone, check it out.

The Squid and the Whale.

2008-03-16T11:17:00.006-04:00

The Squid and the Whale. Well, it's been a few days and I have another movie from my movie swap buddy. Swap 1, we each gave a movie starring an Audrey. Swap two, was heavy movies. No, we don't discuss beforehand. I gave her One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Which is a terrific movie, especially if you've read the book(luckily she has). I was given Squid, so here we go.

I remember seeing posters for this when it came to the Kendall theater. I wanted to see it, but it never seemed the right time. You kind of have to be in a certain mood to see a movie that will probably make you upset. The good news is that I've never experienced a divorce first or second hand so I have some buffer from the emotions.

We open on the final stages of a broken marriage. Parents fighting, lying to each other. Making the children take sides on issues, blaming each other for problems. The children each seem to be closer to one parent, the younger(Frank) seeming to be more mature and more interested in keeping everyone happy. A healthy dislike is developed for most of the characters, with William Baldwin(of all people) ending up as probably the most likable character.

Jeff Daniels is terrific as the overbearing, intellectual snob father far past his prime. Can you believe he was one of the stars of Dumb and Dumber? Laura Linney also excels as the mother who means well but just doesn't seem to understand how to handle relationships. Anna Paquin effectively portrays the minx creating friction between Father and older son.

As I said, I'm pretty far removed from family stresses of this kind, so I can look at it objectively. I enjoyed the film, and it was written, casted and acted very well. If you don't mind some disturbance, and some pretty heavy stuff check it out.

Funny Face

2008-03-13T22:12:00.006-04:00

Funny Face. My new friend SLC found out I love movies, so we decided to try a movie swap. I know she loves European things so I lent her Dirty Pretty Things, which is a terrific thrilling drama set in London and starring Audrey Tautou. I was given Funny Face, which looked familiar but I haven't seen it before(and also stars an Audrey).

Funny Face is an amusing little musical starring the aforementioned Audrey Hepburn, and Fred Astaire. We are treated to some classically dated cinematography featuring genuinely good dance numbers and some fun songs. Astaire helped choreograph, and Kay Thompson seems to combine the inspiration for Meryl Streep's character in The Devil Wears Prada and a jovial Lucille Ball.

Astaire starred in Funny Face as a Broadway musical in 1927, 2 years before Hepburn was born. Then he starred in the movie as her love interest in 1957, even though he is 30 years her senior. While there seems to be some real chemistry there, it is a bit creepy. Mugs doesn't like musicals as much as I do, but she liked that I was enjoying it, so everyone ended up happy.

Top Movies.

2008-03-12T10:54:00.006-04:00

Good morning huddled masses. Throughout my life, people have often asked me what my favorite films were. Now that I'm a budding Movie Review Professional(I have earned a whopping $0.66 so far), I get the request more often, and I feel a responsibility to share.

So, now for the long awaited list of my favorite movies. Please leave comments about your favorite movies, or any questions you have about my choices. People don't leave many comments, lets get that ball rolling.

1) My favorite movie of all time is the most finely crafted comedy ever made. Credit to credit laughs, memorable catch phrases, jokes applicable to real life. A terrific cast, even a mediocre soundtrack. The breakout role for the highest paid actor in Hollywood. I've seen it over 100 times.
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.

2) With number two, I change pace. A sentimental favorite, I have loved this movie for a long time. If it doesn't pull your heartstrings at least a little bit you're a horrible robot. Jimmy Stewart being Jimmy Stewart.
Harvey.

3) Number three is another movie that increased American Vernacular. Fun catch phrases, a terrific soundtrack. The best collaboration between two real life friends, and it gave hope to losers everywhere. Plus he made Wayne's head bleed.
Swingers.

4) Next comes the second movie on this list that I can basically watch scene for scene in my head. Viewing with me is either a lot of fun or horribly frustrating, as I laugh before each joke arrives. My favorite scene from the movie is one I misunderstood for about 7 years. I quote it daily, and use a couple of the phrases more often than you know.
Princess Bride.

5) To round out my top 5 (yes I'm stopping at 5 for now. I can do 6-10 another time) I am adding my favorite martial arts film. It's a remake of a classic, starring my favorite martial artist of all time, featuring him beating up approximately everyone that f's with him. I would definitely not kick him out of bed.
Fist of Legend.

The Wire finale.

2008-03-09T22:45:00.004-04:00

Another week, another finale of a series I like. This week it's The Wire. And it's done for good. Of course you already know this, but that's right, the Wire is over. The best show ever on television is now finished. As Margo so eloquently put it, "Poor Christopher"... frowny face.

I'll miss the writing, the acting. The characters, the gritty reality. The anticipation of a new episode. It didn't end happily for everyone, but it ended well, with its head help high. I'm getting choked up about this, time to change the subject...

I've been watching a lot of High Stakes Poker on GSN. If you like poker, I highly recommend it. It is a lot of fun. In pool news, my friend Andy and I won our 9-ball match this week after being thoroughly embarrassed last week.

Bridge tomorrow, we'll talk soon :)

Dan in Real Life

2008-03-08T22:16:00.008-05:00

Dan in Real Life. I like Steve Carrell. He's funny. The movie had mediocre trailers : not enough to deter this buckaroo. Goodbye drinks with my friend who's leaving town got cancelled, so we decided to give this a shot.

Whoever made this movie, hold out your right hand. Now hold out your left hand. . Bad movie-maker. Bad, bad bad movie maker.

If you haven't gotten the picture, this is a bad movie. Terrible. Awfully written, poorly acted, terribly casted. Even the music was disjointed and distracting. After about 10 minutes Mugs was begging me to turn it off, and it never improved. But I struggled on, for you, faithful reader. I hope you can appreciate my sacrifice.

Let me review a few of the horribly annoying things about the film. Dan(Carrell)'s daughters. Such ridiculous caricatures of teenage brattiness. They were annoying, unrealistic, and frustrating to watch. At one point, the terribly patient and wonderfully nice Margo commented :
"I would punch my stupid kids in the face, then leave them there." I wholeheartedly agree.

Upon pulling Dan over, a police officer says to him "This is gonna cost you." Awesome. In a random dive bar in the middle of coastal Rhode Island, the juke box song played in some weird techno. No one in the bar seems to notice. Very progressive of them. I'm sick of these examples.

Then we get to the casting. Juliette Binoche is a 'hottie' and she is 'smokin'. Reeeeally? Really? There was a time when she was a sex symbol. She is pretty. But come on. She looks terrible in 'DIRL'. Very very far from the bewitching hottie she's supposed to be. The scenes in which she's supposed to make us hot are laughable. Dan goes on a date with Emily Blunt, who is 21 years younger than him. 21 years! And she looks at least that. How are we supposed to take it seriously that he's dating a woman he knew when younger, if he had his first daughter when she was 6. Aargh.

I think I'm done here.

There Will Be Blood

2008-03-06T22:55:00.003-05:00

There Will Be Blood. Daniel Day-Lewis is terrific. He might be the best actor of our time. When I first heard of this movie, I wanted to see it. To experience his smoldering intensity as a turn of the century oil tycoon. While I definitely think he deserves the Best Actor he won for his performance, I wasn't super crazy about the movie.

Loosely based on Upton Sinclair's novel Oil, the movie is slow but very interesting. As long as it is, it seems like there were many plot points left out. When I read that Paul Thomas Anderson had trouble reconciling the story, more things made sense. Margo and I both thought this would have been better as a mini-series. Prospecting, drilling, buying, etc ... They could have more fully developed each aspect, and made each time period more clear.

The Paul/Eli dichotomy was unintentionally confusing, they were originally different actors playing the parts. Paul Dano was very good in those roles though. A friend of mine had told me about the "I WILL DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE" line a couple of weeks ago, so I was waiting and waiting for that to be delivered. I liked Bill Hader's delivery better in the SNL spoof of the scene.

Not a ton to day about the film I guess... Overall, definitely worth watching, but make sure you have time for it.

the Darjeeling Limited

2008-03-05T09:19:00.003-05:00

the Darjeeling Limited. I am a big fan of Wes Anderson films, I haven't seen anything of his that I didn't like. I tried to watch this movie Tuesday night. I fell asleep. Ok, bad night. I tried to watch it again last night, we both fell asleep. Yes we started the movie after midnight both times, but this is a bad sign. It's very very slow, and not very attention grabbing. I think by now I've seen most of it, and I've seen very little that's remarkable. I will try to watch it again this weekend or next week. For now, I'm holding off on a full review.

What else have I been up to? Monday night is now bridge night, you can see results in my links on the left. So far Annette and I are 3-0 in three weeks. Last night trivia again. After a tough start, we came back strong, finishing in second place thanks to Norman's knowledge of the final round answers.

Terminator : the Sarah Connor chronicles ended this week. I liked the show, and the conclusion. I just didn't like how it was hyped ahead of time, like there was some huge twist coming. That kind of cheap crap isn't necessary. People were going to watch it anyways, now some are disgruntled. This weekend is the series finale of The Wire. I'm excited to see it, disappointed it's going to end. Oh well, hopefully tonight will be There Will be Blood and homemade pizza. Yum :)

Balls of Fury

2008-03-02T12:27:00.008-05:00

Balls of Fury. Ping pong? Not only am I a fan, I'm also a player. Christopher Walken? I got a fevah, and the only prescription is more Walken!! When this first came out, I really wanted to see it. But it didn't seem like a movie you had to see in theaters, nor one that would be ruined by waiting. A lot of people seem to have wanted to see it, but few actually did. Which is a shame. Hopefully Netflix will get some good play out of this gem.

The movie opens with a young ping pong prodigy, the hope of the US in the 1988 Beijing Olympics. The opening was actually a bit like I imagine my chess movie(forthcoming) will start. We have show off skills, and the humor feels a bit familiar, but I couldn't remember from where.

As the movie progresses, I realize the movie is made by the folks who made The State, Reno 911, Wet Hot American Summer, etc. Robert Ben Garant directs, and he really shines. There were laughs throughout, for me, Mugs, even her friend. While the movie had its share of just silly, the humor was off-beat, unpredictable and refreshing.

The lead was Dan Fogler, who I think is famous for improv acting troops. His performance left us asking why he isn't in more movies. Our German antagonist is played terrifically by Thomas Lennon. I've been a big fan of the lovely Maggie Q for a long time, and she does well in the female lead. We have a quick cameo by the always funny Patton Oswalt. Then we have Christopher Walken. I think I'd watch him in a Russian infomercial for diapers. He's captivating, terrific.

The ping pong action itself isn't as good as in, say, Ping Pong(which I highly recommend) but it was well done. Mugs and I both really really liked it, I am most likely going to buy it when I get a chance.

Be Kind, Rewind

2008-02-28T22:05:00.009-05:00

Be Kind, Rewind. I wanted to see this movie when I first heard about it. Jack Black? hilarious. Mos Def? Underrated as an actor. I love his music, and I've never seen him in a movie I didn't like. One thing I don't understand tho. Mos Def is an amazing rapper, great singer, eloquent and mesmerizing. But when he acts, he kind of mumbles a lot, and speaks like a small child. The first time I thought it was a shtick for the part, an affect for that specific movie. Then I saw it again. Then in interviews, public appearances. It's how he talks! That confuses me.

So the movie. Mos Def works for Danny Glover at a video shop in a small town in NJ. His wacky friend who works across the street is none other than Jack Black. This is kind of a tired premise, but I was ok with it. Anything where Jack Black gets to unleash his craziness is worth watching for me.

The film was funny, very funny at times. It was also cheesy, very cheesy at times. I was honestly a little touched, but it kind of angered Margo. She HATED the movie. So I'm going to include her review here too, in the spirit of bi-partisan ism and for your reading enjoyment.

PS. Is it possible Mia Farrow is actually 100 years old?
---

Last night I took Christopher out on a date night and he picked the movie. Be Kind Rewind. A movie I had seen a preview for and immediately forgot, while Christopher was counting down the days until its release…

My reaction is a strong one to this movie, be forewarned: do not waste your precious $9.75! You may need that money to buy the next Mariah Carey album at Target.

The 2 weaknesses of Be Kind that I want to focus on were the subject choice of mental illness and the casting of big names to play “common” people. The movie had Christopher at Mos’ Def in an aluminum foil suit with his friend, Jack Black, a paranoid outcast. I am a tough sell on caricatures of people with mental illness partly because I work in mental health and partly because I think that you should really be prepared to say something a little deeper about this disease than “look at him he’s wearing a colander on his head because he thinks it keeps out the microwaves!” You might be chuckling now at the image, but generally people that believe stuff like that as truly as you and I believe that the sky is blue, aren’t going to be able to own a business, maintain friends, and function day to day like Jack Black does. Just try this for a second: would the audience be laughing at a movie that parodied people with Multiple Sclerosis or cancer?

Alright, I’ll get off of my soap box on parodies of mentally ill people. Now for the casting: Mos Def was great but the other actors in the movie, Mia Farrow, Danny Glover, Jack Black, and Sigourney Weaver were too big for the film. They distracted from the plot because they stood out so much from the rest of the cast. I liked that the smallest roles, such as “angry customer” felt like they were done by people pulled from the street. However, despite Mos Def and the extras, it took about 3 minutes of the over-acting of Black and Glover playing Murtaugh AGAIN (alas, no Riggs!) for me to want to snuggle up to Christopher’s shoulder.

----

Well done Mugs, I know we're all looking forward to the next point/counterpoint review :)

PS- I didn't think Jack Black was supposed to be mentally challenged, and milady obviously loves Lethal Weapon a bit too much.

Lost

2008-02-28T11:31:00.004-05:00

Lost. So, a lot of people watch Lost. They keep telling me to watch.

"You'll like it"
"It's your kind of show"
"Why don't you watch it"
"That's not a good excuse"
"Why are you wearing that dress" (oops, wrong conversation)

Anyhoo, I borrowed a couple of DVD's, and Mugs and I watch an episode or two a night this week. We've watched 5 episodes, and it's pretty good. It's not the best show ever, and I can't imagine being obsessed with it. The 'scary' stuff is well done for a small budget, tho it feels hokey at times.

One thing to learn from the movie, if you're on a plane with models and 90% very attractive people your plane is going down. And you won't be one of the survivors. Just get off the flight now. It's like being an ensign on an away team.

Terminator is still good, not really watching a lot of other TV besides poker.

I should be seeing something in the theaters tonight, hasta for now.

The Oscars.

2008-02-25T15:38:00.005-05:00

The Oscars. People keep asking me if I watched the Oscars. No I did not. I was in a car, and even if I hadn't been, I wouldn't have watched. Faithful readers also want me to comment on the Oscars. Who am I to argue?

Oscars suck. Emmy awards suck. Tony awards suck. People's choice awards suck. Stupid, arseholey people celebrating themselves and the crap they spew out non stop. It's so contrived, and horrible, and vapid, and stupid. I like movies MORE than the next guy, but come on. Please. We watch the goddamn movies, watch the half hour long credits(why? Do we care who these people are?) we see the million TV commercials, the sporting events they sponsor. We see 'stars' in the crowds of the world series, and football games, etc.

We read magazines, newspapers, web sites, blogs, twitters about these people. They are everywhere. Isn't that enough celebrating of celebrity? Last night Mugs, as she happily devoured fashion fun and faux-pas', exclaimed frustratedly "who the hell do they invite to these things?" Everyone and their dog. Every pitiful member of SAG. All those horrible self absorbed people.

I despise everything about awards shows, from :
the concept(horrendousness celebrating its own horrendousness)
to the execution(have you watched one of these snoozefest trainwrecks?)
to the results(come see this crappy movie, it won this stupid award from a bunch of jerks with no taste).
Why should we want to see a movie that wins an award. Do we know who votes? Or what kind of people they are? Or what their motives are? Like ads about 'the most watched TV program' or 'the most used this or that'. Who cares? Why does that make it right for me? I don't get it.

F them and the horses they rode in on.
humbug.

Alien vs Predator : Requiem

2008-02-25T13:32:00.004-05:00

AvP:r. I like these kinds of movies. My mom doesn't get to watch them often, so I watched it in DC with me mom. I've seen all of the movies leading up to, Predator I & II. The Alien series, even AvP the first one. My mom has seen very few of these.

The movie opens with some good monster vs monster action. The problem was that the movie is very dark, and these aliens looks a little too much like Predator. Seriously, they really could have differentiated them a little more for me(and me ma).

Action, action. If you are attached to any of the characters in the movie, human or otherwise, I hope you can handle loss. Almost everyone dies, big wipey outtie. There's some very cool monster action, and some very bad human acting. No famous people(which is sometimes a good thing) makes it seem like no one wanted to be in this film.

Overall, fairly disappointing, but not as bad as I expected. See it on TV

Jumper

2008-02-20T23:59:00.004-05:00

Jumper. Looked cool when it came out. Cool idea, I hope they do it well. I also am one of the few people who doesn't mind Hayden Christenson. Throw in Samuel L. and Rachel Bilson and you've got yourself a customer.

We start out a,b,c. Outcast kid who likes a cute girl. Kids pick on him, especially when the girl has a soft spot for him. Father is abusive, la di da. Traumatic event: Kid discovers powers! Move to a big city, use powers for evil. Mild evil. I like the jumping, things are going fine.

Samuel L. is a generic bad guy. He hunts these jumpers. Well. Chase, confrontation... blah blah blah. The action is pretty cool, and there seems to be some chemistry between Bilson and Christenson, more than with Portman at least. We have a cheeky little British helper jumper, and a tiny twist.

The movie is worth watching on TV, or in the theaters if you really need the effects on a big screen. Don't expect the next masterpiece, but it is kind of fun, and I'd watch the sequel if(when) they make it.

Knight Rider.

2008-02-18T12:20:00.002-05:00

Knight Rider. I just finished watching a two hour long Ford commercial. I mean the new movie version of Knight Rider. Finally, they've resumed one of the coolest TV series' of all time, and it seems to be completely funded by Ford.

We have some formulaic baddies, rough and tumble good guy, and a kick arse car. The old catchy music is back, and the female lead is fairly striking. The car still talks(in Val Kilmer's voice), but now it can change form, and is protected by a nano-shield. It runs on gas, but seems to be somewhat less dependent on the driver.

The show sticks to the original(we even hear about the original KITT and get a cameo from the Hoff), and was pretty fun. It also sets us up well for a whole TV series. My problem was just that pretty much every car in their world is a Ford, occasionally a Volvo(a company owned by Ford).

Overall, Mugs and I are willing to watch the series, so it must have been a success for us.

The Martian Child

2008-02-18T12:16:00.003-05:00

The Martian Child. You might ask why someone who just watched Rambo is watching a cute coming of age tale about adopting a strange child. Well, I think I'll watch anything with John Cusack in it. He's a cool fella. Doesn't everyone love him? No, it's just me? Oh well. This film also features his always-overacting-but-somehow-makes-it-work sister(Joan), who seems to be featured in more and more of his films. Often as his sister.

Strange widower, strange kid. Adopt each other, hijinx ensue. Amanda Peet plays the understated love interest. It's nice that they don't push it. The kid is cute, and you are rooting for him to get along with Cusack(John).

We see their troubles, how they each learn to fill their place in a family, and deal with reality and other peoples' expectations. The movie is pretty well done, and doesn't do anything annoying. Watch it if you are in the right mood(for kind of sappy).

Epic Movie

2008-02-17T20:33:00.003-05:00

Epic Movie. So as some of you may know, I went to a frisbee tournament this weekend. Live, Freeze or Die, a tournament in NH in february. We expected snow on the ground, and sub zero temperatures. It delivered on both counts. I, of course, played in shorts and a T-shirt, slicing the heck out of my legs on the ice in the first game, and it never got any better. But that's what I like. After the game, I was lying in my hotel room after a long hot shower, trying to not get any blood on the sheets. Suddenly, Epic Movie was on, showing on one of the 3 real channels I got in my room.

Why do I tell you this story? Well, among other things, this is what it took to get me to watch this movie. I think it wasn't as bad as Magorium, though I am not sure because I blanked that experience from my mind. But it was bad. I like Kal Penn, and Darrell Hammond, but I don't understand who greenlighted this project. It was just so bad.

Flat jokes, terrible acting. I honestly think the idea isn't a bad one, it was just so poorly implemented. I also watched it on HBO, who apparently edited it. I think running time not including credits was about 68 minutes. Crazy.

Avoid, please.

Rambo

2008-02-15T23:03:00.005-05:00

Rambo. John Rambo. Sly Stallone has decided to resurrect another franchise with 2008 release of his newest Rambo movie. Everyone kept telling me how bloody this movie was, but I didn't really believe them.

We open with some gory, terrible detail about the atrocities in Burma. Then we see Rambo, living his life in anonymity, wrangling snakes and being surly. We build, build, build, Some of the movie feels like a poor man's Apocalypse Now. The female lead is pretty whiny, and the missionaries are soooo annoying. Then we get to action! Action, killing, blowing up.

People were right, this is the goriest movie since... since... Hm, maybe Ichi the Killer was this bloody. That movie blew my mind a bit when I saw it. This did too. I think Rambo(2008) has the most maimings I've ever seen in a movie. More than Private Ryan(can you believe that's 10 years old?), more than Braveheart(13 y/o, wow).

Anyways, it seems like I don't have a ton to say about this movie, but if you like Rambo, or Sly, or action-action-action with lots of killing check it out. Really.

Trivi-er

2008-02-14T09:40:00.003-05:00

What? Another night without a film? This is becoming a no-movie blog. Pretty lame. But I must press on so that you, faithful reader, have something to do today for these 2-5 minutes. My post header is a play on the horribly annoying tendency people in Boston have of adding an 'r' to words like Pizza(er) and Monica(er).

Anyhoo, we won trivia last night. Kind of. We got the second highest score, but the winning team had too many people on it so we got first prize. We overcame a couple of hurdles to win. First, we had only four players, tho we got second place last week with 4 people too(max is six, the winning team this week had like 11). Second, we overcame a jinx we've had. My friend Norman(Ginger Gourmet), though wildly knowledgeable seemed to jinx our teams in past weeks. The prize was more than our bill, we made money playing :)

Before dinner Mugs and I went to East Asia. Which is probably my favorite restaurant in the world. Tiny and slow, you don't go there for the service. But if you're near Tufts and want some yummy chinese/thai food, it's right on Powderhouse circle there.

I got home and I watched some WEC. It's a great feeder league for the UFC. I've watched some HDnet fights. Good idea, bad fighters. Right now it's not really even worth watching.

Tonight is Valentines and a nice dinner, we'll see about the movie. Hasta pronto

Other Stuff.

2008-02-13T10:31:00.003-05:00

So no movie last night. I know, I'm slipping. Instead I went to a Bruins game. Let me say, they are bad. Bad bad bad. Bad at passing, bad at checking, bad at shooting. It's like the Hurricanes were playing a different game out there. The score stood at 3-0 Carolina until near the end of the game, when the Bruins scored two strange fluke goals, within about a minute of each other. Suddenly it was a game. The third goal never came, and we lost 3-2 but they made it exciting for about 3 minutes. Player of the game : Sergei Samsanov. Why can't we get players like that?

Got home and watched the show 10 items or less. It's a fun, silly little show on TBS that airs after Office reruns. If you see it on, I'd say check it out. It has good writing, and some legit funny parts. This week's episode of The Wire wasn't up to normal standards. It was only as good as the next best show on TV. American Gladiators is still boring but I'm still watching it. I could give them like 5 suggestions to make it much better. One that's easy is : ALWAYS have them run the assault, it's everyone's favorite event.

Tonight is trivia, but I should get a movie in at some point.

May

2008-02-11T23:38:00.001-05:00

May. Weird movie. Weird effing movie. I can't remember adding this to my netflix Queue, but it must have been a long time ago. I've been watching it creep up my Q for a while, and lacking 6 other movies I'm dying to see, it snuck in to my house.

A strange, indy horror flick, May grabs you from the beginning. After a strange, socially isolated childhood, May grows up to be quite unique. I know I don't usually do plot synopses but I'll make an exception for this movie, roughly this is how it goes :

Quirky
Cute
Strange
Weird
Good weird
Creepy
Weird
Really weird
Bad weird
Weird
Kind of hot
Bad weird
Disturbing
Um... what???

Angela Bettis is terrific in the lead role, and the director with a cool name(Lucky McKee) crafts well. Jeremy Sisto feels natural as the neighborhood hunk, and Anna Faris is a good weird hot lesbian. While it goes beyond bizarre at the end, I think it's worth watching(if you can take some gore). It's certainly different, and you can't say that about a lot of movies these days.

Factory Girl

2008-02-10T13:46:00.001-05:00

Factory Girl. I like Sienna Miller a lot, so a while ago I added a few of her movies to my Netflix Queue and Factory Girl arrived last week. It looked interesting, and I wanted to learn more about Andy Warhol, so why not?

A biography of Edie Sedgwick, briefly popular model and socialite, this movie at least chooses subject matter which has not been supersaturated. The film sometimes feels like it is more focused on Andy Warhol, but this is partially due to Guy Pearce's terrific portrayal. Pearce has been in a couple of bad movies in the past, but I don't remember him ever turning in a bad performance. He really shines in Factory Girl.

This is a fairly boring biography, but it still managed to keep my attention throughout. I hope it was an accurate representation of Andy Warhol, because if not I now dislike him quite a bit for no reason. Hayden Christenson is good as 'Musician' reputedly a composite of real people including Bob Dylan. I always like Jimmy Fallon, and he shows here he can play something other than a doofus who's always cracking up at inappropriate times.

If you're bored on a Sunday(as I was) and don't expect to be blown away, it's at least worth a watch. If you can't stand slow movies or really really annoying people I'd say steer clear.

We Own the Night

2008-02-09T01:42:00.000-05:00

We Own the Night. The previews looked interesting, the movie stars Marky Mark and Joaquin Phoenix. I wanted to see it when it came out, I finally did tonight. Unfortunately it suffers from those high expectations, and a lot more. A whole lot more.

We never really understand where everyone fits, and characters aren't sufficiently introduced. The action is weak, and too sparse. The night club is strange and unrealistic, and there is never any chemistry between Phoenix and Eva Mendes.

We Own the Night takes itself too seriously, and never takes time to really get us into the story. Relying on star power just isn't enough these days. I'd say pass on this.

Michael Clayton

2008-02-08T00:29:00.000-05:00

Michael Clayton. I have mixed feelings going in. I don't really know too much about the movie, but it's a movie, so I'm interested. I like George Clooney in general, but Syriana and Good Night, and Good Luck both lost my interest quickly and kept it away. He isn't directing, so I'll give it the benefit of the doubt.

A quick note about the very beginning. It's soooo easy to make the credits interesting(or at least not terribly boring). Make them a part of the movie. Show something before you hit us with them. Make them small and over some action they don't distract from. Sounds easy, right? Far too many movies make way too big a deal out of the credits, acting like we should give a crap who these people are. Making them an event in themselves. It's like an awards show for awards shows, pretentious crap celebrating itself. Michael Clayton actually has an interesting opening. They hook you with loony ravings from 'Artie'(Tom Wilkinson). He has a terrific voice, and the audience immediately starts wondering what the heck he's talking about. Well done Tony Gilroy(director), he had me at hello.

The opening was interesting, so was the rest of the movie. Well drawn characters, good dialog, good casting and high production value. Clooney is very good in the lead, and his way-too-worldly son isn't annoyingly precocious(which is a feat given his part). The story flows and keeps you listening even if it doesn't really go anywhere. While I didn't particularly empathize with any of the characters, I wanted to see what happened next.

Unless you're really sick of Clooney or suspense-y movies, I say check it out.

The Invasion

2008-02-07T09:27:00.000-05:00

The Invasion(of the Body Snatchers). This is the Nth version of a classic scary tale. It's been a movie a few times, each time with a slightly different take. I saw the original('53) one a long time ago but I can't remember it; I'm just going to review this one as a standalone movie. I was waiting for trivia to start(we got second place!), and the movie length seemed to work.

The movie opens with Nicole Kidman franticly looking for pills at a pharmacy, mumbling to herself and looking all crazy-like. Then we snap back to how this all started. The problem seemed to come from outer space, and begins to spread to people all over. Kidman's ex husband Tucker(Jeremy Northam) is good as 'changed', he could play that role without changing. Daniel Craig is good as Kidman's boyfriend, I first remember him from Layer Cake and I don't remember not liking him in a film. He's so much a better Bond than Pierce Brosnan.

The kids are creepy, the pace moves. It fits with the recent rash of outbreak movies, and holds up fairly well. I wouldn't pay to see it in the theaters, but I think it's worth watching on TV or maybe renting.

**I have a confession to make. Yesterday I reviewed the movie having watched all but the last 10 minutes. I was in a hurry, I'm sorry. the last 10 minutes are so ridiculous/horrible I have to withdraw my recommendations. Seriously. They were more in a rush to finish this picture than I was to review it yesterday, just shameful.

2 Days in Paris

2008-02-06T10:30:00.001-05:00

2 Days in Paris. I must have put this in my Netflix a while ago and forgotten about it. Cute little french Indie flick, written/directed/produced by/starring Julie Delpy. Co-starring her good friend Adam Goldberg. A slow, 'real relationship' movie, we have a peek into the trouble an international couple can have while traveling. Issues are exacerbated by Adam not speaking the local language, and both characters having major commitment issues.

I was all ready with a rant about how both of these actors can't play anyone but themselves. I have liked Adam Goldberg since Dazed and Confused and Friends(he was briefly Joey's crazy roommate). His neurotic craziness is sometimes charming, and often funny. But besides The Hebrew Hammer(which I liked) he always plays himself. Which can get old.

While poking around IMDB for this review, however, I realized that Delpy isn't so one dimensional. She has played a lot of different roles, things I hadn't remembered. I guess I remember her most from Before Sunrise and Before Sunset each of which star Delpy as herself. Rant averted.

The movie is slow, but cute. It can get boring at times, and Delpy's character annoyed me so much it kind of ruined watching it for me. I don't think this is that common of a reaction though, so if you want a short, relationship Paris movie, check it out.

Fast Food Nation

2008-02-05T14:06:00.001-05:00

Fast Food Nation. First a disclaimer: I understand that it was very different from the book. As are many many movies. I'm not someone who reads the book then watches the movie(in general). Most of the books I read aren't made into movies. I'm not sorry for this. So I'm reviewing this as a movie, not as an adaptation of a book.

We open with some folks sneaking over the border into the US, then we have a board meeting of a large(fictional) fast food company. Throughout the movie, we see jerky executives, struggling illegals, and disenfranchised youtts. They are all tied to the fast food industry, and float on its ebbs and flows. We're supposed to be disgusted at the procedures and contents of food, but we've become desensitized. Watching the Food Network and being informed ruin the shock value. Greg Kinnear is ok as a morally challenged mucky muck, and Wilmer(yo momma) Valderrama is terrible as a factory worker.

Slow and fairly boring, maybe watch this movie if it's on TV and you can do something else while it's on. We do get to see another Growing Pains actress all growed up though.

**I'm sorry I haven't been updating much lately. I've been busy and tired lately, and frankly I'm passing the suffering on to you. I'll try to be better this week/weekend.

Busy weekend

2008-02-04T14:43:00.001-05:00

I had quite a busy weekend, so I'll write about the whole thing. Friday after work I went to Boston Billiards again, where I converted another friend to the buffalo chicken wrap. Our waitress, who I hadn't seen in weeks was less than surprised at my order. This is one of a few places I could walk into and ask for my usual, and have 90% of the staff know what I want.

Pool was killing time until the main attraction of the night, comedian Bobby Kelley. The opening act was funny, but Kelley really showed why he is headlining now. He was hilarious. Saturday morning was frisbee practice, and I'll share a science lesson from my playing. When an elbow meets a nose, the elbow wins. Or more specifically, the nose loses. On an unrelated note, my nose is killing me. Friends visited from NY, and we all went out to Wagamamas, the noodle place from Europe that has now trickled into Boston. Delicious noodles, then onto Finale. If you know me, you know I'm not a dessert guy, but I had molten chocolate cake, gelato, and sips of my friends' ice wine. I'd do it all again! Three couples came home to our place, and we played Newleywed Game(the board game). Now, the movie.

We watched a DVD of mine, Green Street Hooligans. Originally I watched it alone, and really liked it so I bought it. Elijah Wood plays the impressionable follower well, and Charlie Hunnam is fantastic. Good movie about soccer and hooligans, tho my friends and Mugs didn't love it.

Sunday morning, we watched another of my DVD's. This one I haven't seen before. Korean gangster/drama flick called A Bittersweet Life. Slow, violent, and sometimes funny, it was about what I expected. Throw in some weird torture methods, and this movie is worth watching if you don't mind it being verrry slow.

Sorry for the brevity, but I have another review to crank out in a minute

The Kindgom

2008-01-31T23:15:00.001-05:00

The Kingdom. I was intrigued by this movie when it came out. Never made it to the theaters to see it, but I avoided learning more about it because I like to be surprised by movies. It came from Netflix this week, and on my third attempt to watch, it finally happened.

Janie Foxx can be annoying, but I really liked him in Jarhead, so I was ready to see him portray another military type. I wasn't disappointed, he really does the tightly-disciplined guy well. Chris Cooper is good in another 'that guy' role. Jennifer Garner is surprisingly whimpery for a tough girl, and Jason Bateman seems a bit out of place, but makes up for it by being himself. Ashraf Barhom is terrific as our Saudi protagonist. Delivering intensity and some comic relief.

The movie has some real excitement in the beginning, then starts building and building towards a 30 minutes or so of nearly non stop action near the end. I think all of those things are really well done. Peter Berg might not be a terrific actor, but I like his directing style. I can't really talk about the cultural things in the film, that would take a book or so, but I'd be happy to talk to you in person about it.

Good acting, beautiful shots, genuine action and excitement. I am going to buy this DVD when I get a chance.

Sweeney Todd

2008-01-30T22:45:00.000-05:00

Sweeney Todd. The Demon Blade of Fleet Street. Sounds like an interesting story, and I like Johnny Depp. Tim Burton seems to be pretty hit or miss, and my impression of him seems overly influenced by how much Kevin Smith hates him. Hearing details about this story and who's directing it, I can't imagine anyone other than Depp and Bonham Carter being the leads.

The movie is a dark, sad tale. Depp shines as the star, and Sacha Baron Cohen has a nice little piece as a rival barber. In general it feels like a play, which makes sense because the story comes from the stage. The music, however, does get a little annoying for me. I don't have a problem with Musicals per se, but this was bad music IMO. I was also wondering, how much they enhanced the movie by making it a musical... There are admittedly a number of people who aren't influenced one way or another, but I feel like making the movie a musical will lose more on-the-fence viewers than it will gain. Maybe that's just me.

Overall, it was a good enough movie. I am glad I didn't pay money to see it though. One funny note, every time This Guy came on the screen, Margo said 'hey, it's Keira Knightly'.

Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

2008-01-29T21:24:00.000-05:00

Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. Yes this movie looks stupid, and no one seemed to like it, but you know the drill. I have adoring fans to please.

Wow, lets see if I can recount what just happened to me. As far as I can tell, a baby monkey wiped his excrement on some movie film, then dragged a few more reels through mud puddles and various sections of the jungle. Shortly thereafter, the monkey found financial backers and a distribution company, ported his footage to digital and edited down to ~80 minutes. Next the Monkey found me, and made me watch his travesty while the whole monkey family beat me in the head with sticks and rocks. I need a minute to recover.

...

Ok, so I've thought it over, and I may have been spared the monkey beatings, but I'm pretty sure the rest happened. That's all I can say about Craporium.

Beowolf (2007)

2008-01-28T21:41:00.000-05:00

Beowolf. I was skeptical from the start for a number of reasons.

a) It looks pretty stupid
b) It's like the fourth Beowolf film made in the last few years
c) I don't like overdone movies

But I'm home, Margo is working, I have a few hours to kill and a DVD. Most importantly, I have a movie blog to entertain. Shall we dance?

After all that, Beowolf is actually not a bad movie. While the animation is mildly annoying, the action is pretty good. Using animation allows Robert Zemeckis to use legitimate good actors for the male leads instead of Nordic looking pretty faces. Ray Winstone does well as Beowolf, and imo Brendan Gleeson(of recent Harry Potter fame) steals the show as the stalwart sidekick Wiglaf. Anthony Hopkins obviously has terrific Voice talent in addition to his acting chops.

Here is my problem with the movie. IT IS NOT BEOWULF. It should be an adventure story, another line entirely. Why call it Beowolf when it is probably 40% based upon the original story? This was my main problem with Miami Vice(the movie). Well, my main problem was that it was terribly done trash. But my other problem with Miami Vice is that it wasn't about Miami Vice. It was a random story about two cops. Not based at all upon the original. So here we are with this other way overblown hyperbole. Is there an avid following of the classics that makes it profitable to loosely follow old stories? Why not make it a new story? I honestly don't understand.

Final Answer : not a bad movie, just ignore the title.

**Edit** I forgot to mention two things yesterday
Though Angelina Jolie is on the cover of the movie, and seems to be in all the previews she has about 5 minutes of screen time. Admittedly she does look quite amazing animated, but this is a bit silly
Secondly, how in the world is this movie PG-13? There are people graphically being ripped in half, and we have a naked woman grabbing a naked man's business. Adult 'themes' like the dreaded homosexuality garner an 'R' in one second, crap like this is really PG-13?

Poolhall Junkies

2008-01-28T11:15:00.000-05:00

Poolhall Junkies. This is a movie I've loved and owned for a while. I owned it, lent it to someone and never saw it again. Then I re bought it, lent it to someone, then never saw it again, again.
I own it now for the third time, and it's not leaving my house. I try to show it to my pool playing friends cause they tend to appreciate it.

Basically, it's a pool movie kind of similar to Rounders but it doesn't take itself as seriously. Mars Callahan writes/directs/stars in this little niche gem. There's some good pool action, and some very cool Christopher Walken. He gives one speech that I think anyone should listen to before a sporting event. It might give you chills. Evil Chazz Palminteri and a weirdo Rick(y) Schroeder are icing on the cake.

Anyhoo, I watched it with my friend Dan, hoping it would make us want to play pool. It did. So we decided to check out another new(to us) pool hall. Corner Pocket(yeah I know another awful web site), in Waltham is very close to my house. We forgot the directions but made out way over there. Fairly large pool hall, tables were fine. it was pretty expensive though, and the food/bar area is separate. Separate ordering, separate checks ... For just pool it would be ok, but nothing has unseated Boston Billiards as the venue of choice yet.

(in case you're wondering he kicked my butt with a house Cue)

Confessions of a Super Hero

2008-01-27T14:13:00.000-05:00

Confessions of a Super Hero. Billed as a documentary about celebrity character impersonators and their pursuit of fame, I was intrigued. I like slice of (strange)life documentaries like Starbucking, and Cowboy Del Amor. I also like super heroes so I gave it a shot.

We focus on four main people, a Superman, a Batman, a Wonder Woman, and an Incredible Hulk impersonator, all of whom hang out in front of Mann's Chinese Theater taking pictures with people for 'tips'. The Superman seems to be completely obsessed with Christopher Reeve and Superman in general, and his life is dominated by the impersonation. The other three seem to be looking for other acting jobs and achieving extremely mild success.

The documentary does a great job of neither mocking or glorifying the life, and really shows their outside life well. Three of the four are married(The Hulk isn't) and they talk about their lives before their alter-egos and what pushed them into that life. I was never bored, and was even a bit touched. I was so interested I watched all of the DVD extras to squeeze out all I could. If you like documentaries at all, please check it out.

Hitman

2008-01-27T09:59:00.000-05:00

Hitman. I love Tim Olyphant. I liked him before Deadwood, but since then I can prolly be considered a fanboy. I'd pay good money to have him stomp around my apartment looking mad with his jaw clenched. Anyways, Hitman was a moderately interesting video game, now made into film starring one of my favorite actors. Am I going to miss this movie? If you said no, you obviously don't know me :)

We open with a training/indoctrination montage, that reminds one of the training Spartan boys received to make them killing machines. Then we get into Olyphant and the killing. This is what I'm watching the movie for. Running around, acting badass, wearing cool outfits, killing fools. This is what #47(where I came from, they don't give us names, they give us numbers) does. And he does it well. At times this movie reminds me of Leon(which was one of my favorite movies).

The female lead is Olga Kurylenko, who I've never seen before. If you can get past the choppy English, she does a great job. Indignant, then moving to a more Stockholm Syndrome-ish attitude, Olga provides legit eye candy. She's actually going to be a bond girl in 2008. The main Interpol guy is a little annoying, but his sidekick is kind of cool. We have a nice four-way bald headed fight, and overall the movie delivers what it promises. Some light hearted fun and a lot of action. If you like the game, Olyphant, or lots of killing, check it out.

The Ten

2008-01-25T08:54:00.000-05:00

The Ten. I remembered seeing like one preview for this a long time ago, then it disappeared completely. It just came from Netflix, so I threw it in the DVD player two days ago. When it was time to watch a movie, Mugs and I both wanted to watch 'The Kingdom' but we both hate getting up to change the disc. So we watched The Ten. Maybe tmi, but oh well.

This movie was the baby of David Wain, and Ken Marino. Two actors from my favorite sketch comedy show ever, The State. The movie opens with some Paul Rudd silliness. I find him funny, and he seems to be the face of Angst for his generation. However, he seemed to be a little too much like his character from Knocked Up here. That annoyed me slightly.

The stories start off well. There's a lot of craziness, over the top comedy. If you liked the State, you should definitely like this movie. Stories don't go where you'd expect, and they kept me laughing the whole time. Ken Marino is great, Winona Ryder is terrific, and looking great. Oliver Platt killed me as an Arnold impersonator. Jessica Alba has a small, and disappointing part for someone with top billing. I always like to see Liev Schreiber in a comedic role.

Basically, if you don't mind profanity and nonsense, with a few very inappropriate jokes and comments thrown in, check it out. Fun-Ne

(The Kingdom is coming soon)

The Great Debaters

2008-01-24T09:41:00.000-05:00

The Great Debaters. So I was at work, waiting to go to trivia, so I decided to watch a movie. I was thinking Denzel Washington(correct), short movie(incorrect), light fare(also incorrect).

I actually liked this movie more than I expected(it to be terrible). However, it seems to have an identity crisis. Heavy racial issues in Texas in the 30's, and a fluff piece feel good team story. It has both. I like one of those, I don't like the other. You can guess which is which.

Big stars in this movie. Denzel Washington. Forest Whitaker. A Cosby girl, and um Denzel Whitaker. Really? One of the main actors in a movie with Denzel and Whitaker is named Denzel Whitaker? Weird, I say. I'm going to call the little one DW for now, I don't want to write out both names. Anyways, (the)Denzel is himself. Righteous, smirking, wiser than you. Honestly it's getting old. If he wasn't a terrific actor I think I'd start swearing every time he appeared on screen. Show some god damned range, please. Forest tho. He's my man. I love that droopy eyed bastard. Maybe it's because when I get tired my left eye half closes. Maybe it's because he has been innovative and diverse for his whole career. From Fast Times at Ridgemont High to Good Morning Vietnam to Ghost Dog to Last King of Scotland to Great Debaters. And the man is an opera singer !!

Forest is great. Denzel is mediocre, but the story is good at times. The first time Cosby girl debates, I was moved by her speech. The young male lead is pretty good, and there's some 1935 southern grit. Boston is painted as a beautiful place, which I like. If you're not expecting a great movie, check it out(tho I wouldn't pay for it).

Jillians Boston

2008-01-23T09:58:00.000-05:00

Jillians Boston. I didn't watch a movie last night, I went out and played pool. I try to go once a week with my friend Dan. Dan is a better pool player than me. When we play for money, I usually find a way to win, but when nothing is on the line I can't find my motivation.

Usually we go to Boston Billiards Club(holy crap is that a bad web site). Good pool tables, easy parking (if you know where to go), the most amazing Buffalo Chicken wrap I've ever had(I eat it with no tomatoes) and comfort. We know the waitresses, we know the managers, we know the players. We know almost everyone there. There's plenty of space and light, it's a known quantity.

We decided to try something new this week. Jillians Boston. I used to go there a lot with my friend Scott, before the format change. I remember good tables, good food, good intangibles. Now, it's a bowling alley. They have a few pool tables, in terrible shape. Ours had a huge "***" stain all over it. The lighting was atrocious (we had to hold the menu over the table to read it) and there was Zero atmosphere. The food was fantastic tho. If I want to go bowling some time, I want to go there and eat. But for pool? I'd stay away.

Had a good or bad experience at either place? Lemme know by commenting. Thanks

Cloverfield

2008-01-21T17:15:00.000-05:00

Cloverfield. I, like many people, have been intrigued by this movie ever since the strange, informationless previews started hitting the public. I have a couple of people at work who can't seem to not talk in explicit detail about movies I want to see. Even when I ask them again and again not to. It's a holiday weekend, a theater near my house is playing it, how can I NOT go see Cloverfield?

No intro, no opening credits. I like it so far. I had heard that the handheld-camera style shooting can be disconcerting at first. Correct. I also heard that one gets used to it. Mostly correct. We open with a silly Dept. of Def. looking stamp, like this film is evidence of an incident. Trying to lend authenticity I guess, tho it's not like this is Blair Witch or something.

The first real shots we have are a couple hanging out, then people preparing a goodbye party for "Rob". I got most of the characters mixed up at first, cause white people really do mostly look alike. The only actor I recognized in this movie was TJ Miller. From the TV show Carpoolers, in which he plays the exact same character. In small doses it's quaint, funny even. He did get some laughs in the film. However, for a whole movie, it grates on nerves like Jar Jar Binks. I spent a lot of the movie hoping he would die, just so I wouldn't have to listen to his horrendousness anymore.

There's a ton of action, legit scary scenes. Some 'make-you-jump's and NYC getting the crap beat out of it. Like "I am Legend" I don't really understand how this movie was PG-13. There were a lot of kids at this movie, many of whom were scared poop-less at certain times. They also seemed to love talking during the movie. I don't imagine the people reading this are the people who do it, and if you are I don't imagine that this will change your habits. But please, SHUT UP during movies. It aggravates me to no end when people are making stupid comments loudly during movies. If you don't like it leave. Or don't go in the first place. There's a social contract, to respect the other people who spent a lot of money to be there. Civilized people wait in lines, use turn signals, and don't talk during f-ing movies.

So... I liked the movie a lot, and I'm glad I saw it in the theater. Fun movie, and pretty exciting. You'll even get to see a preview for an upcoming Star Trek movie.

TV Update

2008-01-21T14:40:00.000-05:00

As I've mentioned, it's a long weekend, I watched/caught up on some TV. I have a lot of shows set up in my DVR, and I don't want it to fill up, so I knocked some out.

Threshold. This is an interesting looking show, Sci-Fi based. Aliens are invading. Very slowly :)
Since the DVR only saved 7 episodes, I saw the first 4 and last 3. Out of 13. That was enough. It started out well, interesting premise, good actors. Carla Gugino, Data, Peter Dinklage, and this guy. The crazy crazy technology stuff gets old though, and the show was cancelled before the story was over. A hasty ending ruined the last couple of episodes, I can't really recommend it as a whole.

Pinks. Sounds dirty, but it's a show about car racing. It's pretty cool, if you like cars I'd definitely recommend it.

The Wire. I wrote on this before. But after a couple of more episodes, I want to say this : When I watch The Wire, I am praying it doesn't end. I'm afraid to look at a clock for fear of acknowledging the passage of time and the impending finish of this episode.

Breaking Bad. New show on AMC, starring Bryan Cranston(the dad from Malcolm in the Middle). After one episode, I like it. Quirky, funny, and well made. I hope it sticks around for a bit.

Football. During the season, Football is a large part of my TV schedule. Pats are 18-0 and heading to another Super Bowl. Where they'll meet the Giants. Pats fans have been solid throughout the season. Always talking about how great this season would be. Sticking with Belichick during the scandal. Now we're ready to be crowned the Best Team Ever. Giants fans hid all season. Complained about Eli, whined about everything. Now they're all coming out of the woodwork. Praying the Giants can beat the Pats, almost to redeem their beloved Yanks who have been far surpassed by the Sox. Their biggest accomplishment of the season according to most experts was losing to the Pats. Lets hope it stays that way.

Spartan

2008-01-21T12:57:00.000-05:00

Spartan. I can't remember when I added this to my Netflix Queue, but it's starring Val Kilmer and has Kristen Bell in it, so that's win win in my book. I found out later that it was written and directed by David Mamet, whom I enjoy in general.

The story is loosely set around some special ops soldiers(Kilmer) trying to rescue a politician's daughter(Bell). There are a few twists and turns, some training, some ops. Val Kilmer being his crazy self. I like it how he completely immerses himself in a part, though I hear it makes him insufferable on a set.

Ed O'Neill and William H Macy play small but meaningful parts, as well as Derek Luke. Not an amazing movie, but well acted, and it knows what it wants to do and does it. Kilmer delivering Mamet lines is worth watching for me. Small review, small movie. Hasta pronto.

The Golden Compass

2008-01-19T20:25:00.000-05:00

The Golden Compass. From the first preview, I wanted to see this movie. It's yet another movie based upon a fantasy trilogy, but it looked like it had some cool ideas, and polar bears fighting. Can't go wrong there right?

The movie opens up by giving us a bit too much information about things to come, but it ropes you in. Short and sweet credits, I'm ready for a ride. At first the star(another girl named Dakota) Lyra seems a bit annoying. She always looks angry, wearing a perpetual sneer. Eventually it changes to perpetual confidence. She is completely unflappable, which becomes endearing. Daniel Craig has a small role, but does well with it. I'm sure he'll play a larger part in the next two movies.

I'm not going to talk about the plot too much, but I liked it. Nicole Kidman is just alright, not shining. I think she can be a lot scarier. In each movie she is in, the "work" she's had done becomes more obvious and detracts from her more.

The movie is a lot of fun, good story, and a lot of good CGI which is extremely well integrated. I'd definitely recommend this movie. After I got home from the movie, I started poking around, and a lot of people really didn't like this movie. They are mostly in two camps : People who loved the book and thought it didn't compare, and religious nuts. I do want to read the book, so I can comment on that part later. Religious nuts tho, give it a break. It is soooooooo annoying, and you're winning neither friends nor converts by protesting movies and books.

To End All Wars

2008-01-18T08:48:00.000-05:00

To End All Wars. Pretty awesome cover, good reviews, a somewhat unique setting(Scottish POW's in a Japanese prison camp in Thailand)

Good start, Scottish soldiers, bagpipes, real Scottish actors. I'm a big fan of Robert Carlyle. Maybe he'll be a good guy in this movie? No, don't hold your breath. Big, blustery Scot James Cosmo(Braveheart, etc) is big and blustery, doing his thing. Keifer Sutherland is in the house, being the shady American.

Japanese soldiers are portrayed as horrible, inhumane guards, trying to break the spirit of the noble Scots. Beating, abusing, even killing, prisoners for all kinds of slights, while severely underfeeding and overworking them. The prison camp was tasked with building a railroad through the jungle, connecting Thailand with India.

The prisoners start having little classes, to try to stay sane. This is where it gets cheesy. I hate, HATE it when people spout random Shakespeare quotes to sounds edumacated. Some random dying dude 'Taught Shakespeare at Cambridge', and to prove it he spouts a few lines from the most quoted monologue of the worlds best known play, Hamlet. The leader of their little group tries to teach these emaciated, desperate men Plato's version of justice. They have a graduation, giving out 'diplomas' for things like Ethics.

The school aspect is tedious and ridiculous. There are also some waaaaaay overhanded religious overtones, culminating with a man actually getting crucified. I think this movie had potential, but I really disliked it.

Wedding Daze

2008-01-17T21:12:00.000-05:00

Wedding Daze. Quirky little romantic comedy, with a twist. It was written and directed by one of my favorite comedic brains, Michael Ian Black. Mugs is a recent convert, so we both watched. BTW, there's a shockingly incomplete IMDB page for this movie, it doesn't even have a cast listing...

First of all, let me say that Jason Biggs is annoying. Very annoying. However, the movie survives this. The female co-star is Mrs. Sacha Baron Cohen, er, I mean the lovely Isla Fisher. She shines in this movie as a fairly unstable but terribly charming young woman. Her friends are two circusies(I made that up, meaning carnies but about the circus?), Matador in particular steals most of the scenes he is in.

The parents of each of them are quite funny, and definitely don't follow any over-used cliches I remember. Each time there was a scene I might groan at in a normal rom-com, Ian Black took it another direction. Surprising us, grossing us out, or just being silly. He humor was stamped all over this.

Mediocre acting spiced with a good script and some truly original ideas. I liked it, and I think you will if you are into weird movies.